Dilbert's Words of Wisdom

[mharrell08]

Good ol' Dilbert...

1.) I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

2.) I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3.) Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

4.) I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

5.) Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

6.) There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

7.) Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

8.) Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

9.) Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

10.) I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

11.) Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?!"

12.) My Reality Check bounced.

13.) On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

14.) I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

15.) You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

16.) Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, 'cuz, like to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

17.) Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

18.) Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.


Marques

[aqrinc]

Marques,

#4 #6 #7 #10 #18  are still very much the order of the day. #16  avoid at all cost, unless you want to become a crunched-ie.

george .

[Ninny]

Marques,
very cool!
Kathy

[firefly77]

Thanks... I desperately needed a good laugh!!
Angie

[daywalker]

Ahahaha, great stuff!

[meee]

            Love it!!!
            I know I'm # 17 to some folks. Oh Well,lol!
                  Neato Marques!!!
                     hugs,meee

[Deborah-Leigh]

18.) Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

This could be a translation from the Proverbs ....Dilbert and Solomon!

[jassy]

winter has finally hit here in the southern hemisphere. My house is not designed for it, open plan and big windows. The result is the gas heater I am huddled in front of has the same effect as a roaring candle.

but laughing helps takes my mind off it and I cant hear the dogs teeth chattering either, (they are hogging the heater anyway). So marques, your mission should you choose to accept it, is, keep these coming.

[Linny]

These are great!
The first time I saw #1, I loved it so much that I made one on the computer and it is framed in my house!

[Samson]

Pretty Good Marques,

I especially like the following: 6.) There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

10.) I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

14.) I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

I'll add this to the mix: The definition of stress: The desire to beat the living daylights out of
someone who desperately needs it.

                                          Thanks, Samson.