Hi Beth,
I think you have held up remarkably in your situation. When I left the church, I kept thinking I would be confronted, as I had been friends with the pastor and his wife, mainly because our girls were friends. But I was just waiting (nerverously) for that confrontation that never came. So I was never really in the position that you are in.
Anyway I hope you realize that the best defense as a good offence. What I mean is if you present a few irrefutable Scriptural truths, how can he attack what you believe. Here is a excerpt from the Bible study 'Foundational Truths' that I think might be of help to you.
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,6452.msg51862.html#msg51862 ---
GOD DOES NOT LIE!
Let’s go through just one major point here about God and His work. Now I’m assuming that we accept the fact that there is a God. But first you have to accept that there is a creation and there is a Creator of the creation. I’m assuming that we all believe that there is a God of the creation.
I’ll ask the question here, does God lie? I want to give you this verse in the Concordant in Titus, because it really is worded properly.
Titus 1:2 in expectation of life eonian, which God, Who does not lie, promises before times eonian, (CLV)
The King James says, “God, that cannot lie,” But that is not what it means, that’s not what it says. It doesn’t say in the Greek that He “cannot” lie, it says “does not.” It’s a negative, can’t - don’t. But it’s not that He can’t, but He doesn’t. God doesn’t lie.
Num 23:19 God is not a man, that He should lie;
1 Sam 15:29 And also the Strength of Israel will not lie…
That is in a capital, it is talking about God. This is a Truth! You got to hang onto that. Under no circumstances can you ever let go of that Truth, it’s paramount. If you believe that God lies, then you might as well throw your Bible away. You might as well throw your religion away.
This is paramount!
You say, ‘well teach me something new Ray, teach me something I need to know. Teach me something the whole church doesn’t know or believe.’ I AM. They DON’T believe this. That’s why I’m telling you, you must believe this.
G o d d o e s n o t l i e.
GOD’S WORD DOES NOT LIE!
John 17:17 Sanctify them through Thy truth: Thy WORD is truth.
John 10:35 …and the SCRIPTURE cannot be broken;
2 Tim 3:16 ALL Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
So the Scripture are true. They are true and they can’t be broken and they are written through the inspiration of God, who does not lie. Now have you got that point in your mind? Don’t ever lose that. This is your salvation, when it comes to you understanding the Scriptures and/or teaching others to understand the Scriptures or exposing those who contradict themselves.
We can now apply this TRUTH to all Scriptures. With just that Truth we can confound the mighty of this world and I’ll show you how to do it. This is not going to be a difficult study. But it is going to be maybe one of the most profound studies I’ve ever given.
SEVEN [7] FOUNDATIONAL SCRIPTURES
Now I going to give you 7 Scriptures that talks about really important things and I have several that eludes to the salvation of the human race. Because what is more important than that? What’s more important to a human being than to think that God, since He brought us into existence, we will always be in existence. Even when we die He is going to bring us back. If He brought us here in the first place, then He can bring us back. This is not hard, not for God.
[1] 1 John 4:14 And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Savior of the world.
I never forgot that Scripture. First time I saw that I memorized it and I never forgot it. I never had to look it up again, I knew where it was…1 John 4:14. And also 1 John 4:8 “…for God is love.” Remember these.
[2] 1 Tim 2:4 God our Savior; Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.
You’re got to believe that. Maybe you should cut these out and stick them in your Bible or something.
[3] 1 Tim 4:10 For therefore we both labor and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living GOD, who is the Savior of all men, especially of those that believe.
Phil 2:13 For it is GOD which works in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure.
Do you see free will in there any place? Who is it that brings about what is your will and what you will do? GOD!
[4] 2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is…NOT WILLING that ANY should perish (well how is He going to keep them from perishing?...), but that all should come to repentance.
Here is a negative thought - "not willing." Now this is the will of God and this is important. God’s will is that no one should perish… no one, not Adolf Hitler, not Osama Bin Laden, no one. But they all have to repent.
You say, ‘well they’re already dead Ray.’ That’s right, but they are coming back in judgment and they have to repent. Why? Because God does not want them to perish.
Now we are going to see what theologians do with these verses and what you can’t ever do with these verse. Because this is Truth, God does not will - He’s not willing - He does not want - He has no such desire - He takes no pleasure in any perishing. But He is going to have them all repent.
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But a good thing to remember is you can not explain the truth to the blind where they will understand. It is not up to you to present great wit and clever remarks to answer their accusations, as Christ did not answer His accusers.
Mat 27:12 And while He was being accused by the chief priests and elders, He answered nothing.
v. 13 Then Pilate said to Him, "Do You not hear how many things they testify against You?"
v. But He answered him not one word, so that the governor marveled greatly.
My prayers are with you.
mercy, peace and love
Kat