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Author Topic: Advice ?  (Read 3607 times)

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Ellie

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Advice ?
« on: June 24, 2009, 04:44:01 AM »

Hi everyone.I'm just not sure how to handle or respond to the following and would appreciate some input.....
  My mother, at the age of eighty has been in love with another man for the last fifteen years.Last year,after years of caring for his wife,the man's wife passed away.Also last year,my father had to go into a home and is declining daily.
   Now that they have relative freedom they are both seeing a lot more of one another. My mother has met his family,they all like her and include her in their social plans,lunches et.
   I am at a bit of a loss as to handle the situation from the perspective that my mother,wants to tell me,someone,all about it.Strangely this is the first time in her life that she is seeing a" loving" family or how it can be.
   She was a   very  abusive,cruel mother.I am amazed that she is perhaps learning "love". Something that I pray for her.Yet I just don't quite know how to respond to her phone calls and her talks.
    I am not interested in judging her,but it being morally wrong makes me feel uncomfortable ,as though I am a part of it in some way.
    Your thoughts on this would be appreciated
                   Peace to all ....Ellie.......
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Terry

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Re: Advice ?
« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2009, 08:02:15 PM »

Hi Ellie, thats a hard question on how to talk to your mom, if it was me i would stand still,pray and listen to that little voice from deep inside at least with me that seems to work when i will listen.
God Bless
Terry
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Terry

G. Driggs

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Re: Advice ?
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2009, 10:33:34 AM »

Are you talking about adultery? Personally I don't think I can tell anyone that is what they are doing is wrong, cause I'm no better. I would certainly pray for them, and definitely listen to them. Dont encourage them either.

Just know, we have a just, fair God who will be her judge, along with the Elect.

You ever consider sharing with her what you have been learning here?

2Ti 2:24  And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient,
2Ti 2:25  In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
2Ti 2:26  And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.

I dont know, but just maybe if you share with her some Scripture or something from Rays teaching, and that your learning, maybe she will get the hint that it makes you uncomfortable, if that is what the REAL problem is.

You know you really cant change anyone? That is up to God.

Thats a tough one for sure, maybe someone here can give better advice.

Praying for your wisdom in this matter.

Peace, G.Driggs
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Ellie

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Re: Advice ?
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2009, 12:22:14 AM »

Terry & G Driggs,
                        Thank you both for your input and bible verses are apt.I guess I'm talking about adultery.Even if we are looking upon another with desire.
                         I certainly wont encourage her,have shared my point of view.I don't think I,m any better either.Daily we struggle with sin.
                        I think that It being my mother was a bit confusing.However,I shall just let it go and continue to pray for them all.
                         Thanks again .......Ellie.........
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Dave in Tenn

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Re: Advice ?
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2009, 02:08:30 AM »

Hi Ellie.  Can't give you a long dissertation on the Law or anything, but it is difficult to 'judge' one's parents--even in the way we have come to understand 'judgement' through B-T.  I went through that (though the details differed greatly) when I was a much younger man, and have no desire to do it again.

These days, I hold very close to the Word that Judgement begins in the House of God--and since He makes His Home in ME--I don't have much interest or reason to clean anybody else up, especially when they don't ask for my help.

Perhaps it's possible for you to 'pretend/assume/reckon' that this relationship does not violate marital law.  I don't know.  But if the details are clearer or are being related to you in conversation, then don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and say that such talk makes you uncomfortable.

Not to be flippant, but what child of ANY age wants to hear too much detail about their parent's private life?  She'll just have to understand and get over it.  If she won't go THAT far, then it seems like there's not much chance she's going to recieve the Word of God from you.

That's just me, though.
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Heb 10:32  But you must continue to remember those earlier days, how after you were enlightened you endured a hard and painful struggle.

Marlene

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Re: Advice ?
« Reply #5 on: June 27, 2009, 03:49:39 AM »

Ellie, I think Dave just gave you the best advice yet. I was just talking to my Mother tonight about how it is not in our power to control anyone. They have to want to do right.  I think many of us while lost in Babylon have found our self wanting to judge someone. Especially, while some of us had done the same things.

God is the only one who can  control someone.

Before, coming to the truths I had often found myself trying to be the Savior of the World. Thinking I had to help some one overcome there sins, when I could not even do it myself.  I was always trying to fix family problems. Even, tried to help a boyfriend once and bit off more then I could chew. Now, I see all we can do is pray for them. But, it is still Gods will we just have to endure and overcome. Just, rest in God to work it out. Easier said, then done. That, old beast does like to rise.

I agree with Dave it would be hard to listen to your Mother or Fathers personal life. I think, I would just let her know it bothers me to talk about it.

In His Love,
Marlene
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Ellie

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Re: Advice ?
« Reply #6 on: July 05, 2009, 04:07:28 AM »

Marlene and Dave in Ten...Came in rather late on your replies.However I do thank you.Dave your comments on judgement beginning with us is very close to me also. I guess I just don't want to be doing the wrong thing in this myself. When it gets down to it my Mum is just like any body else I might talk to in this world, doing whatever they are doing.
  I have no desire to fix her,judge her or do anything much else but to pray over the whole thing. God is in charge and his will be done. Thanking you all again.
                    Peace...Ellie....
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