Ray's Current Condition - July 10, 2009

[Dennis Vogel]

LETTERS TO RAY:

Dear Forum members, visitors, and Elect of God.  Grace be with you all from  God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ.

I am seeing firsthand the grace of God in my own life.  I have been repeatedly asked over the last months for an update on my health and/or lack thereof. I can honest say there was not a lot of good things to report in recent months.  There were many frustrations and physical problems—not the least of which were a plethora of itchy, oozing sores which covered my arms, back, chest and stomach (hundreds of them).  Also about 15 grape-size tumors or cists formed under my arms and across my chest.  Thankfully, after six months, these are now virtually all gone.  

I take a great deal of comfort in knowing that I am loved and appreciated by so many around the country and around the world.  It keeps me going.  After receiving thousands of hate mails over the years, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that there are many who love and appreciate the truths of God and are benefitting from our little ministry.  I had no idea how many people have been blessed and their lives made better through bible-truths.com.  It is overwhelms me at times.   I have tried to send a short acknowledgement of thanks to all of the countless hundreds that have written me since our Nashville Bible Conference.  I am truly humbled and feel God's favor on my life despite the severity of my present trial.

At present I am not feeling well.  I am in constant, but not debilitating pain.  As the pain is tolerable, I decided to try and get off of the oxycontin, as there is often a let-down between doses.  I tried twice and was unsuccessful in kicking the oxy. Once for about ten hours and once for about a day and a half.  I am now into the third week of my third attempt.  Two of those weeks were the worst two weeks of my entire life.  The withdrawals from coming off of oxycontin are horrendous!  The effects are psychological, emotional, and physical.  It has been horrible!  But the last few days are getting better.  Thank you for your prayers.

Last month I was approved by my doctors to try a new cancer fighting agent.  Unfortunately, I was not told that I absolutely could not take it while taking a pain killer like oxycontin.  Several hours after taking this agent, I took my oxycontin and then liked to die.  It was the worst single day of my entire 68 year life.  It was worst than horrible.  I really didn't think I would get through it.  Again, thank you for your prayers.  And speaking of 68, thank you to all who sent me birthday cards.

We may not know all of the reasons why, but it is obvious that God desires that I go through all that I am going through.  Maybe it is because I need to know firsthand just how horrible the lives of millions of other people are.  We need to develop a real love for all humanity.

Dennis asked me to put together a list of some of the emails I am receiving so that he and others on our Forum can read and hopefully feel not only the same emotional high that I feel when I receive these words of love and encouragement, but that we see how lives are being completely changed.  It is one thing to agree with some doctrine or particular thing that I teach, but it quite something else to have those same teachings bring people back to God and completely enhance their lives and love for God.  I will not include my replies back to all these emails as my responses to each of them are similar words of thankfulness and appreciation for their love and concern.   But I will include my replies for a few.

I can't remember a day that I have not received a word of encouragement from someone among our readers.  And some are still contributing to my financial needs. What a Godsend that is to not worry about charging credit cards for my health and medical expenses, which are considerable.  Thanks to all for renewing my faith in God's chosen Elect!  I truly and literally feel your love and sincere concern for my health and well-being.  

I am just dying (pun intended) to start writing again if God will but give me the strength and inspiration.  I have a list of subjects that I feel compelled to write about as soon as I am able.  

Although I feel pretty bad at present, I reviewed my latest lab report with my doctor on Tuesday, and one bit of good news is that my PSA has topped out at 761, and is now on the way down.  My doctor cautioned me to not read too much into this lower PSA for the present until we see if it continues going down.

I am going to step out on faith and believe that God will improve my condition in the months ahead.  Therefore, I have tentatively reserved a large meeting room in the Mobile, Alabama Ashbury Suites and Conference Center for a November 7th and 8th.  In a couple of weeks I will finalize the subjects I plan to cover, and will inform you of them.

Although I appreciate beyond words your love, appreciation, and concern for me, don't idolize me.  I'm just a man; a person of like passions as most of you; a teacher; one dedicated to overcoming sin and being a suitable example to others.  So I hope no one will put me on a spiritual pedestal.  I am passing on these letters to bring glory to God for changed lives, not for personal glory.

I pray for all of you every day.  Some of you are way worse off physically, financially, socially, and spiritually (and many other ways) than am I, yet you do not receive hundreds of notes of praise and gratitude as I do.  Well know this one thing:  you have MY praise and gratitude every single day.   Someone is taking your needs before our God and Father every single day.  I can't write lengthy emails of encouragement to most of you, but I can go to God daily and represent you all collectively, and plead His love and mercy upon your every need.  

Again, THANK YOU for all your prayers and support.  You have no idea how much it means to me!
May God be with you all, always,
Ray

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