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Author Topic: One true and some for men.  (Read 3703 times)

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meee

  • Guest
One true and some for men.
« on: August 09, 2009, 01:52:50 PM »

True story from Sweden some might enjoy....... After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and then he would buy her another place. The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given 3 days on her own there, to pack up her things. While he was gone, the first day she lovingly put her personal belongings into boxes and crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their candlelit Dining table, soft music playing in the background, and feasted on a pound of shrimp and a bottle of chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each room and deposited a few of the resulting shrimp shells into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. The husband came back, with his new girl, and all was bliss for the first few days. Then it started; slowly but surely. Clueless, the man could not explain why the place smelled so bad. They tried everything; cleaned & mopped and aired the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in, the carpets were replaced, and on it went. Finally, they could take it no more and decided to move. The Moving company arrived and did a very professional packing job, taking everything to their new home. Including the curtain rods.


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To all you men out there.....here is your revenge for all the bad "man" jokes.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the stove.

Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus.
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "I wish I had your willpower."

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted".
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
Now ladies you can laugh too, they're funny.hugs,meee :)
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Ninny

  • Guest
Re: One true and some for men.
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2009, 02:25:04 PM »

That SO made me laugh!!  :D
Kathy ;)
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Phil3:10

  • Guest
Re: One true and some for men.
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2009, 04:35:07 PM »

Meee,
That was so good that I sent it to my wife and will send to several others on my email list.
Thanks,
Phil3:10
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meee

  • Guest
Re: One true and some for men.
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2009, 12:34:58 PM »

 Glad ya'll liked it!     ;)
hugs,meee
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