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journey to confusion - my letter to Ray
daywalker:
Hello Carol,
Don't be discouraged, you're on the right track.
"Confirming the souls of the disciples, and exhorting them to continue in the faith, and that we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God" (Acts 14:22)
"Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer" (Rom. 12:12)
You're not alone! I'll keep you in my prayers. :)
Peace,
Christopher. 8)
lauriellen:
i have no words of wisdom to offer, just felt compelled to thank God for the love and faithfulness of Ray, and all here on the forum. So many lives are better because of the love and truth found here. I can really relate to alot of the feelings expressed on this post myself. When i get really down and confused, i just remind myself, "this is not my home." I am just trying to keep my focus on the horizon knowing that each day that passes, is a day closer to the reconcilliation of all things. In the end, that is all that matters. May God richly bless you all.
lauriellen
ericsteven:
I have no words of wisdom of my own, but here are some verses from the little read prophet Habbakuk that may echo what you seem to be feeling. (from the New Living Translation)
Hab 1:2 How long, O Lord, must I call for help? But you do not listen! "Violence!" I cry, but you do not come to save.
Hab 1:3 Must I forever see this sin and misery all around me? Wherever I look, I see destruction and violence. I am surrounded by people who love to argue and fight.
Hab 1:4 The law has become paralyzed and useless, and there is no justice given in the courts. The wicked far outnumber the righteous, and justice is perverted with bribes and trickery.
The Lord gives Habbakuk a vision of what judgment is to come, at which Habbakuk protests once more. Then the Lord reminds him that everything will happen at the appointed time.
Hab 2:2 Then the Lord said to me, "Write my answer in large, clear letters on a tablet, so that a runner can read it and tell everyone else.
Hab 2:3 But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.
The book then ends with a prayer by Habbakuk.
Hab 3:17 Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty,
Hab 3:18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation.
Hab 3:19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He will make me as surefooted as a deer and bring me safely over the mountains.
This brings me peace. Hopefully it will to you and others as well.
God bless you,
Eric
aqrinc:
Hi Carol V,
Just rest in HIS SABBATH, we do have this rest; if we stop working our own works.
Heb 4: 1-16 (CLV)
1 We may be afraid then, lest at some time, a promise being left of entering into His stopping, anyone of you may be seeming to be deficient."
2 For we also have been evangelized, even as those also. But the word heard does not benefit those hearers, not having been blended together with faith in those who hear."
3 Then we who believe are entering into the stopping, according as He has declared, "As I swear in My indignation, 'If they shall be entering into My stopping-!'although the works occur from the disruption of the world."
4 For He has declared somewhere concerning the seventh thus: And God stops "on the seventh day from all His works."
5 And in this again, "If they shall be entering into My stopping-!"
6 Since, then, it is left for some to be entering into it, and those to whom the evangel was formerly brought did not enter because of stubbornness,
7 He is again specifying a certain day, "Today"-saying in David after so much time, according as has been declared before, "Today, if ever His voice you should be hearing, You should not be hardening your hearts."
8 For if Joshua causes them to stop, He would not have spoken concerning another day after these things."
9 Consequently a sabbatism is left for the people of God.
10 For he who is entering into His stopping, he also stops from his works even as God from His own."
11 We should be endeavoring, then, to be entering into that stopping, lest anyone should be falling into the same example of stubbornness."
12 For the word of God is living and operative, and keen above any two-edged sword, and penetrating up to the parting of soul and spirit, both of the articulations and marrow, and is a judge of the sentiments and thoughts of the heart."
13 And there is not a creature which is not apparent in its sight. Now all is naked and bare to the eyes of Him to Whom we are accountable.
14 Having, then, a great Chief Priest, Who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, we may be holding to the avowal."
15 For we have not a Chief Priest not able to sympathize with our infirmities, but One Who has been tried in all respects like us, apart from sin."
16 We may be coming, then, with boldness to the throne of grace, that we may be obtaining mercy and finding grace for opportune help."
george. :)
Robin:
Thank you Ray for your beautiful email and thank you Carol for your honesty.
I would much rather see someone asking the hard questions than asking no questions at all. I know people who seem to just pull things right out of the air and understand them. I am not one of those. I break everything down in a million pieces and then put it back in a box that is understandable to me. I have had to wait until God answered my hard questions to put in that piece. I learn the hard way. It took me 5 years to learn that there is no free will. Piece by little piece. Circumstance by circumstance. Suffering and more suffering.
I felt insane most of that time and confusion was screaming at me. My faith was attacked every step of the way. God pulled the rug out from under my reality. When I found BT God pulled the rug out even more.
I learned that a lot of those hard questions were the flaming arrows of the evil one that were used to attack God's character. They put fear and doubt in my heart. Even this was all a process in my life to strengthen me. I learned to not doubt God even though I didn't have the answer yet. I learned that God is good even though some things make him look bad from our limited sight. I learned that all my thoughts that attacked God's character were not of God. The wrestling I went through was my carnal man wrestling against the will of God.
My son is an alcoholic and has been for years. He is so close to death so many times and my heart aches. I've had to go through such hard lessons through all of that. I've had to learn to accept the unacceptable and do things no mother should have to do.
My grandson and granddaughter have chronic daily migraines. They have never been able to go to school or play like other kids. My grandson hasn't been able to get out of bed for the last six weeks. He has a migraine 24 hours a day now.
I do not have joy through these trials, but God has taught me to accept his will and most of the time I can believe that his plan is good. I do fall into a day of despair now and then though.
Romans 5:3-5
3And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;
4and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;
5and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
God has never failed to answer my questions even though it took years sometimes. I had to learn that I could not lean on my own understanding. I think that might be what you are learning now through this process. Just another rug being pulled out from under you. He is faithful though. I might not be able to trust in my own understanding, but I can trust that he understands all and he is in charge of me.
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