Prophecies

[stephen]

When I was still part of Babylon and attended church faithfully and dutifully every Sunday we of course heard the traditional prophecies and tongues and interpretations at every meeting. My partner and I met each other at bible college some 30 years ago and this morning over coffee we recalled some of the prophecies we heard of over years, many of which were extremely amusing.

On one occasion one of the more senior members of a church fervently prophesied on "Moses and his Ark", and he continued with Moses and his Ark and Moses and his Ark until his prophecy ended. He must have wondered why everyone was so quiet and not given to the normal shouts of  amen and hallelujah. On sitting down his wife respectfully reminded him that it was Noah and the Ark  and not Moses. On hearing this the gentleman  jumped to his feet and before anyone could say anything  he proclaimed "I the Lord God hath made a mistake. It was not Moses and the Ark but Noah and the Ark" and then promptly sat down.

On one occasion in our church, after a particularly rowdy and energetic praise and worship session, and just as the pastor walked to the pulpit to begin his sermon a gentleman in the front row started prophesying how the Holy Spirit was preparing the church world wide for time of unprecedented praise and worship. He concluded his prophecy with
".......and God says that this mornings worship was acceptable onto Him and that the last time He had enjoyed anything so much was when He split the Red Sea"

My mother told me of a time in their church (before I was born) a fairly new member of the congregation prophesied that God wants His people to be bright shining lights wherever they go, "........ in fact God says our lights must shine so brightly that when we walk down the street the unbelievers must shout 'Dim your Lights, dim your lights' "

If you have heard of funny or strange prophecies please share with us.

Bless you all

Stephen

[Amrhrasach]

Nope.  No prophecies Stephen.   

But, back in the days when (I thought I had a clue) I would argue with the skeptics on a forum or two.   One of the the posters, actually of the 7th day adventist clan, argued with me on this one:

1Co 3:15  If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.

His argument:  "works" were friends and associates that we, the believers, have led to Christ.  But those "believers" didn't quite meet standards as we (the elect) have met.  Somehow the difference he was explaining I never could quite understand.    But, and therefore, according to him our "works" (friends, family, etc) would burn in hellfire eternal damnation, but "we" the "true" believers would be saved.

Even then that didn't make sense. And that was BBT (before bible truths).

I had a real problem with my grandmother being burned in eternal damnation and hellfire......this woman who made absolutely sure that all childrens were headed to the church house when the bell rang.  And I grew up with alot of childrens.   

It was either that or you were, in fact, going to die and "burn" (but not in hell) when my grandfather got ahold of you later on.   

I still get amused at the 7th day'er.  He and I still chat sometimes but he thinks I've gone over the deep end.

For what it's worth.

I thank the holy God for L. Ray Smith and what that man has accomplished through spiritual understanding and a sharing spirit.

Gary

[Astrapho]

On one occasion one of the more senior members of a church fervently prophesied on "Moses and his Ark", and he continued with Moses and his Ark and Moses and his Ark until his prophecy ended. He must have wondered why everyone was so quiet and not given to the normal shouts of  amen and hallelujah. On sitting down his wife respectfully reminded him that it was Noah and the Ark  and not Moses. On hearing this the gentleman  jumped to his feet and before anyone could say anything  he proclaimed "I the Lord God hath made a mistake. It was not Moses and the Ark but Noah and the Ark" and then promptly sat down.

LOL, can anyone say... Epic fail? I feel kinda sorry for the guy though.  

Haven't gone deep enough into the Pentecostal church to catch many prophecies though, but my friend told me that once it was "prophesized" (Because I think we all know it isn't a real prophecy) "that God was using this (The Oneness Pentecostal) church as a mighty army". @.@ And then I saw another church (Charismatic) saying pretty much the same thing.

I thank God for having made everything turn out the way they turned out.   And I mean everything. I mean, wow.

[firefly77]

I have been around prophecies too many to remember while attending church. Watching TBN was the worst of all; to me it is more like calling up one of the Psychic's hotlines. There doesn't seem to be much difference.
If God wants me to know something ahead of time, he makes it very personal and understandable to me without shouting it to the whole congregation.
People just love all the excitement and the entertainment.
Angie