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This may disappoint.

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Sorin:
Well I don't feel like pretending to be one that would be considered a "Follower of Christ" so I need to confess something. When I first came to the BT board I was a believer, and I wanted to learn more and more about
this newly found belief that all will (eventually) be saved and about the thing of the Spirit and all that. But I have stumbled somewhere along the way and now I'm not even sure I believe in God anymore. I can't even pray anymore because I just feel like I'm talking to myself. I obviously don't "love my enemies" and whoever saw what I said(before modifying my posts) to "malachi12" after he said that he is
"superior" to me because he is an "Israelite" can attest. This forum is for those that are of "like mind" and I don't think I am anymore. So then perhaps I should just leave, or maybe I'll get banned but either way I don't feel like I belong.

I guess I'll stick around for the replies to this, but perhaps that's about it,
Sorin

gmik:
Sorin.  Maybe you are just in a dry place right now.  Just over on alchemists thread Yellowstone had to remind me of a few things.  Lately on this forum, there have been some strange threads I think.  It does get you to thinking and doubting and wondering blah blah blah....Gee we can get called a heretic for not believing every single thing that everyone else does.

When I feel my foundation getting shaky, I go and reread Ray or Mike's papers and get grounded again.

Prayer does most of the time feel like I am just having a conversation to myself.

AHHHHH, but what gets me out of the dumps is usually PRAISE.  Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness...Go on, Put it on, the Bible tells us to. then praise Him out loud for who He is, how wonderful He is, how faithful He is. how His word is True, How you Love Him, and on and on...Psalm 3  list all his many benefits....You don't have to feel like doing this but you do it anyway.  He is worthy of our praise.  If you don't want to do this then WANT TO want to!

Sorin, honey, do what you want with staying or going.  But DON'T leave the Lord!!  Even if you go for awhile, I will be always praying for you-and I mean it!! Your destiny is to be better than your past.  don't settle for less.
Love you in Him,   gena

chrissiela:
Sorin,

We all go through periods like that. I think I spent the first 30-some-odd years of my life feeling exactly like that. I would poor out my heart and my tears and felt like I was talking to the wall most of the time.

I finally just resigned myself to the fact that I was NOT going to have a personal relationship with Christ, nor might I ever be ‘convinced’ that he was even the Messiah. Or that God existed at all.

But He works it out. And perhaps when you least expect it, He will suddenly appear and you will wonder how you ever even doubted. Because when He does, He will remove ALL doubt.

So don’t lose the faith or the hope. Christ came to save “that which is lost�. And aren’t we all? Surely we are ALL lost until we are found.

And He doesn’t stop til every last one of us is accounted for.

So keep praying!! He hears you, even when you think that only the wall does.

Blessings,
Chrissie

JJ:
Sorin,
Too late, too tired, haven't thought this out, but just don't stop short with
hanging on.  Hang on a little longer.  For me, it seems that God brings a
breakthrough right after a major trouble/pain/doubt........ kinda like
childbirth-- gotta go through the labor and pain, pushing past the point
you think you can bear, hanging on cuz there is no other choice....... and
then the beautiful babe!  

I just can not believe that God brought you to B/T and showed you so much, all for nothing but to let you drift away, in doubt as to whether He
even exists.  Anything is possible, but I don't believe this is true of you.

Honestly, the last few weeks have been like this for me....... just weary of the struggle, but I find no way to stop hanging, hoping, enduring-- can't get off the ride.  I KNOW there is a God and I understand enough of
His plan and ways and see enough of my sin and foolishness, to see no other way but His way and whatever the loss or pain or length of the season of struggle....... I have to hang on and so do you, Sorin, you must.  

One thing that keeps me going when I feel I can't is thinking of my children and how I would let them down and how they would lose faith in
a God that I could not have faith in.   Sorin, if you fade away, it would hurt many here at B/T...... for now, think of that and don't be too selfish
with yourself...... stick around, cuz you have made a place in the heart of
so many of us here..... stick around so that we don't have the great heavy sadness of losing you yet, let us have time to pray and hope that
God will give you the breakthrough,  just hang for a while and let us pray for you and just hang longer, but don't quit God or us yet.  

Sorin, how else could we explain this world, this earth, creation, life.......
there is an Almighty God and I'd rather be for Him than against Him.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to give myself a pep talk!
much love,
Jayle

Deedle:
Sorin my Bro,

I'm here for you if you ever need me.

Just remember, we all (especially us young lads) have much to learn by "reason of use".

Hebrews 5:14
But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.

All in God's time bro. May He grant you peace in this time.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Now throw on some DragonForce and crank it up!  :twisted:

Deedle   :D

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