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[HoneyLamb56]

I have read, reread, reread the paper on Free Will and the postings re same.  Sure are a lot of people who are very articulate in their writings.  My head spins.  Now I lay in bed at night unable to sleep because I'm trying to guess what God's purpose is.  Going thru the why's and did I make the right choice?  Of course, I tell myself I did because there is no free will.  There is some consolance in the fact that I'm not alone.  Everyone has their situation; here's mine.
My husband and I sold our home with only 2 years left on the mortgage.  He was retired (not by choice) and I resigned from my job (with hesitation).  My parents are in their seventies and my husband has no family.  We had an agreement with my parents that we would leave our community and move to their location as that is where all my family is.  They were to put their place up for sale and we would buy something together i.e. a duplex, granny suite, whatever as we would eventually be their caretakers.  We did our part; paid the mortgage penalty; left a nice, comfortable home; left our friends who thought we were nuts.  I prayed but really did not feel peace but my husband was more persistent so we did it.  Guess what!!  It has been almost 2 years and my parents have no intentions of selling (live in the country).  We are now in an apartment in a city with no friends; my siblings work and we don't have all that much in common.  Thus the resentment sets in.  Thinking of moving back to where we had a life.  Then I start the trying to out guess God.  We moved here to enjoy our time with my parents while we can (i.e. health etc.)  Is this God's reason for this?  He has a purpose, right? Suck it up!  Was this the decision I was to make?  Remember, I did not feel peace about it.  On it goes!!!
Just venting as I don't have any friends.  I volunteer at the hospital one morning a week but don't really get to socialize with anyone.  My husband will be starting parttime employment.  Maybe that will help.  Had started attending a church for the purpose of meeting people but that didn't last because of my beliefs.  The merry-go-round doesn't stop and yet I think I know better!

[Ninny]

Well, HoneyLamb..my prayers are with you! I have no advice, only prayers for your peace...
Kathy

[Roy Coates]

"Just venting as I don't have any friends"

You do now vent away, pray and pray, study and trust in Him, He will sustain you. Peace

[Nelson]

Hi Folks,

A free will we do not have but we do have choices. God inspires and leads us. We can resist Him but pay the price for that (reap what we sow etc.).

Who we are in Christ is wholly the work of God, but there is still the 'us' there making our own choices. When the spirit speaks to our inner person we can choose to listen or ignore it, but if God wants us to do something very specific then we simply will not be able to resist it at all. The road to life is narrow and cramped but rejoice in the truth that God has chosen you to know the truth and will lead you to life, the real life.

Time does not permit me to go into this in any depth, but trust in the Lord and pray earnestly about your plight. Ask for His word on the matter and follow that inner voice, trusting Him no matter what,

• "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths" (Pr 3:5,6)

Grace and peace to you and yours

Nelson

[arion]

Now I lay in bed at night unable to sleep because I'm trying to guess what God's purpose is.

There was a time where I was consumed with the thought that although I know that nothing can resist God's plan and purpose, (No weapon formed against us will prosper) yet I thought that I could somehow mess up God's plan for me.  I thought that if I didn't do it right that I was thrust into a bed of my own making and that I 'missed God' and now it's too late.  This is a thought process that will drive you nuts and bear only bad fruits.  The truth is that even your bad choices and choices that were made by others that effect you is also God's will.  He knows the beginning from the end and is the master chess player as it were.  Make the best choices that you can which are within your control.  Know that you really can't screw it up.  The choices that you make, even poor ones are not able to thwart God's will for you and neither can anyone else's choice.  When I really began to understand the fallacy of free will a real weight began to lift from me.  God knows the beginning from the end and he will make sure that it all goes according to his plan.  Not even you and yours are able to change that fact.

[Samson]

I have read, reread, reread the paper on Free Will and the postings re same.  Sure are a lot of people who are very articulate in their writings.  My head spins.  Now I lay in bed at night unable to sleep because I'm trying to guess what God's purpose is.  Going thru the why's and did I make the right choice?  Of course, I tell myself I did because there is no free will.  There is some consolance in the fact that I'm not alone.  Everyone has their situation; here's mine.
My husband and I sold our home with only 2 years left on the mortgage.  He was retired (not by choice) and I resigned from my job (with hesitation).  My parents are in their seventies and my husband has no family.  We had an agreement with my parents that we would leave our community and move to their location as that is where all my family is.  They were to put their place up for sale and we would buy something together i.e. a duplex, granny suite, whatever as we would eventually be their caretakers.  We did our part; paid the mortgage penalty; left a nice, comfortable home; left our friends who thought we were nuts.  I prayed but really did not feel peace but my husband was more persistent so we did it.  Guess what!!  It has been almost 2 years and my parents have no intentions of selling (live in the country).  We are now in an apartment in a city with no friends; my siblings work and we don't have all that much in common.  Thus the resentment sets in.  Thinking of moving back to where we had a life.  Then I start the trying to out guess God.  We moved here to enjoy our time with my parents while we can (i.e. health etc.)  Is this God's reason for this?  He has a purpose, right? Suck it up!  Was this the decision I was to make?  Remember, I did not feel peace about it.  On it goes!!!
Just venting as I don't have any friends.  I volunteer at the hospital one morning a week but don't really get to socialize with anyone.  My husband will be starting parttime employment.  Maybe that will help.  Had started attending a church for the purpose of meeting people but that didn't last because of my beliefs.  The merry-go-round doesn't stop and yet I think I know better!

Honeylamb,

                 You made choices to move to your current residential location that were influenced by CAUSES(whether internal or external). Your Parents and their original intention was one CAUSE that influenced your decision or choice to move, but it wasn't Free and besides the fact that every choice has a prior Cause, none of us know the outcome of a choice and none of us can control the outcome of that choice. One of my favorite examples of proving that we don't have Free Will, even in a case where the intentions were noble is the case of the Apostle Peter when Jesus clearly said to His Apostles that they would all deny Him and scatter. Peter boldly claimed that He wouldn't and would stand by Jesus, even though the rest wouldn't. Well, you know the rest of the story, Peter denied Jesus three times, claiming he never knew him. So, in this case, Peter's choice of denying Jesus was CAUSED or INFLUENCED by Fear. He was even given advance notice of the outcome by Jesus and still thought He could control his choices.

                 The results from your choice to move, although at present amounts to a stressfull trial, eventually good will result from these new sets of circumstances, it just hasn't happened yet, but God has it all figured out, like he did everything else, before the Foundation of the World.

                       Hope this Helps, otherwise, sorry if I couldn't provide a better answer.

                                             Samson.

 

[HoneyLamb56]

Thank you for your responses.   Your words are very meaningfull and encouraging.  There are many awesome and insightful people on this Forum.  Need to work on my patience!

God bless you.

[indianabob]

New friend Honeylamb56

You have my sympathy and prayers.

Don't know that my story will help, but here goes.

I left one church for good and began looking.
Found another small, local fellowship "church of God" with really nice people my age.
My wife and I attended, but after a while she gave up and I agreed with her decision as the people, nice as they were, were mostly all related by blood and family membership and seldom spoke of anything else.

They asked me to participate in Bible study once a month and I did and we enjoyed it, but then came the difficult Bible stuff which they mostly agreed with, but thought that they already knew all that stuff and wanted their ears tickled. I'm not good at buttering up people to please their ego, so after three years I finally gave up and separated myself from them and now study at home. I still see them while shopping and have attended funerals with them to show love and concern and they always invite me back to "church", but our only relationship is at a distance.

My point is that I tried to find friends in a church setting with the hope that I could share some of what I was learning about the true character of God; that ALL His ways are based upon love. Then one elder explained to me that they needed the threat of fiery punishment in order to get people into church where they could approach them and teach God's way of life. Why else would people come to church if there was no protection from punishment?
I suppose that is partly true, but it's not the best reason and doesn't lead to reverence toward God.

Well that pretty well made up my mind for me and I respectfully explained my feelings along with my appreciation for their friendship and stopped attending. That's where I am now and I spend my time fellowshiping with many men and women at the coffee shop, the library, the grocery store and at funerals for their loved ones. They seem to appreciate it and very few even inquire about my beliefs about God and Jesus. I just let them see that my wife and I are very pleased with our Creator and not concerned for the future. We know how it all turns out in the end; God wins.

I try to be ready to give an answer for the hope that lies within me, but I don't have to push so hard any longer. God and Jesus don't depend upon me to make converts, that is Jesus' job. My purpose in this life is to prepare myself (work with God's leading) to serve God in this age and the age to come. God is now training me, so it is not me training others except for those few who really want to learn and grow in grace and knowledge. Folks such as this rugged group on the forum and those lurkers who test everything we quote from Ray and write to see if it is so.

Hope my story has helped a little, but please continue to share your concerns and to benefit from the love we each can and will share with you.

Indiana-bob

[Deborah-Leigh]

I think I know exactly where you are HoneyLamb56!

Both my husband and I did something similar. We built our lives around our siblings and his parents. Well that was a big mistake! We found out the hard way. What was the purpose of God to disappoint our good intentions and our unrealistic expectations? We got hurt and the losses to me are irreversible for my family to re-pay so I have written it off knowing full well this is the hand of God to make me see Him. You see He appoints to each and every one of us exactly what we have in terms of everything we have. Everything - our home, income, jobs, intelligence,  feelings, emotions and experiences, circumstances, lessons, disappointments, challenges, victories, hopes and dreams.

You are exactly where God has appointed you to be just as He appointed me to experience huge disappointment in the human condition that cannot be trusted like He can be trusted and that cannot be depended upon, like He can be depended upon. Only God is perfect. That is a bitter, harsh and agonizing lesson to experience, endure and finally overcome and rejoice in!

It gets much easier when God shows you that it is His Spirit that we see in our friends, loved ones and family. As we see Him more and more, the façade of friendship no longer attaches us because we become attached to the Spirit of Christ that we see within those we cherish. When and as we do that it is to our strength and joy rather than our sorrow and loss if a friend turns on us or our family disappoints us because we know in whom we have believed.

Arc

[bambam]

I just had to say-AMEN Arc!!!  All truly is of God.  That is one of the most comforting thoughts to me!  And I hope that you can find peace in that honeylamb!!:)
Beth

[rapjim]

Dear Honeylamb,

We moved to a  country home a few years  back , from the city and I just "knew" that God had impressed upon me that He would sell our city home quickly at a large profit. One year went by and no sale. Two years went by and no sale and plenty of "advice" from everyone and anyone. The most glaring advice came from a sister in law who said to me one day, " you know , you got lots of faith that God will sell your house but why do you not have faith that God can rent your house to a good renter ?"  Lots of family had  advised that we rent rather than keep trying to sell. Six months later I finally listened to them and we rented the house to a wonderful family for TWICE the amount of house payments we make.  That is a pretty good profit, especially when we had been making TWO house payments for 32  months.

The thing I read  this morning about such  patience building situations was simply to "wait on the Lord." If we truly believe He is sovereign, and we do, than the end result HAS to be for our good, simply because He is concerned for our good. While we wait, do the obvious correct thing that you are led to do by His Spirit.  We always will look back and say, " Yep, God  knew what he was doing, ----- again. Amen.

[EKnight]

Then I start the trying to out guess God.

I have absolutely no advice, but I can relate to your sentiments 100%.  I spend way too much time second guessing myself and trying to decipher what God's purpose is with each and every step I take.  It's frustrating but it also demonstrates a lack of faith too. 

Eileen

[Deborah-Leigh]

How often God has shown me that when I think I have enough faith, then something big and ugly will happen and oh me of little faith. Oh me, why did I doubt? Oh yes!

In more sobre times, I no longer feel secure in MY faith but in the Faith Of Christ who is the author and finisher of our faith, there is so much re-assurance, so much rest and peace knowing that we will fall maybe seven times and our author will make us stand, know and believe. It is His work making our faith that He will finish. Looking forward to the day!

Arc