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Author Topic: Musings  (Read 5598 times)

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Samson

  • Guest
Musings
« on: February 23, 2010, 01:03:15 PM »

Good Morning,

                   Here's a list of humorous sayings to cheer up you snow shovelers and anyone else, I thought this list was pretty good. My Dad sent this via Email this Morning, sometimes he comes up with a really good one. Enjoy Below !



 

1.. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke .
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder .
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe .
9... I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10.... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11... NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17... Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up .
18 . Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes..
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap.. Park elsewhere!
23.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken .
24 .. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words , but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26 ... Ham and eggs....A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson
29.... I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.


                           Samson.
 
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cjwood

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  • Posts: 2095
Re: Musings
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2010, 06:35:15 PM »

thanks samson!  i really enjoyed the list. i especially like the one about 'the trouble with life is there's no background music', and the one about ham and eggs, and the original point and click being the smith & wesson. laughter is such a great gift to share. thanks buddy!

claudia
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Ninny

  • Guest
Re: Musings
« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2010, 07:56:18 PM »

Oh my gosh yes, Samson, my friend...I especially like nos. 16 and 17!! I am reading a thing called "Over 50 and Looking 30"..they didn't say nothin' about the wrinkles!! hehehe!! Neither will I!!  :o
Kathy ;)
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Samson

  • Guest
Re: Musings
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2010, 09:05:54 PM »

thanks samson!  i really enjoyed the list. i especially like the one about 'the trouble with life is there's no background music', and the one about ham and eggs, and the original point and click being the smith & wesson. laughter is such a great gift to share. thanks buddy!

claudia
Oh my gosh yes, Samson, my friend...I especially like nos. 16 and 17!! I am reading a thing called "Over 50 and Looking 30"..they didn't say nothin' about the wrinkles!! hehehe!! Neither will I!!  :o
Kathy ;)

Hey Claudia & Kathy,

                            I like #3 & #8( Some people are alive, because it's illegal to kill them & Earth is the insane Asylum of the Universe.) Number 3 reminds me of a saying I heard many years ago: The definition of Stress-The desire to beat the living crap out of someone that desperately needs it.  ;D. Sorry, but that's what happens from living on the Insane Asylum called Earth.  ;)

                                Samson.
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Ninny

  • Guest
Re: Musings
« Reply #4 on: February 23, 2010, 09:39:07 PM »

Samson, I'm laughing here!! You are so right!! I can identify with that!!!  :o
Kathy ;)
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Darius

  • Guest
Re: Musings
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2010, 03:07:24 PM »

I like #3 & #9. Thanx for sharing Samson!
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OBrenda

  • Guest
Re: Musings
« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2010, 05:31:13 PM »

lol  ;D
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Samson

  • Guest
Re: Musings
« Reply #7 on: March 02, 2010, 06:01:27 PM »

lol  ;D

Musing # 14 is dedicated to the Freckle Girl and Brenda: " Consciousness, That annoying time between naps."  ;D because they spend most of the day in dreamland and the rest of their time Daydreaming or in Farmville." Sorry, Brenda, couldn't resist,  ;D

                                    Samson better hide.
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