Mobile Conference 2009 - all audios

[Kat]

  
                                    RAY'S DIAGNOSES AND TREATMENT DETERMINATION

I did a routine blood thing back about a year ago. Then Dr. Sherman's nurse called me and said that Dr. Sherman has set up an appointment for you over at the Providence Cancer Center. She said your PSA is 108. So I wasn't to happy about that.  

I went over there and they checked my PSA again, just to be sure and it was 108. Then they gave me some x-rays, they shot me up with this radioactive stuff and came back an hour or so later, then they do imagining to do a bone scan.  

That is tedious, you have to lay there perfectly motionless. It does your top, that takes one hour, then it does your bottom for one hour. Then you have to wait and come back a couple of days later for the results. I know that doctors learn certain bedside manners I guess, because they said, 'well we've got some spotting going on here. Some in the shoulder, in the neck, the knees, the legs, hip, spine, jaw and skull... a little spotting going on?  In other words you are all eat up with cancer.  

He said, there is nothing we can do to improve your condition, nothing. But he said there's probably get you twelve months to a year. We can put you on Casadex for a few weeks, then we start giving you Luprim shots and we will starve out the testosterone and that should buy you another six months.  

Just picture yourself sitting there and hearing that, wow. So I went home and I was thinking about that.  Now my wife said, 'well we will just do what he said and you will have a while yet.'  You know at the end of the day I told my wife, you know I'm not taking this too well. I felt sorry for my wife, she said 'I know.  What can I do.'  I said I don't know. Then the second and the third day, I was sitting on the sofa, I think it was the third day and I said honey I'm not doing very well with this. She said, 'I know.' Then talked to the doctor and he wrote me a prescription for Casadex and she said 'why don't we go get that prescription filled, at least we will be doing something positive.' I said I don't know if I want to do that. She said, 'well you don't have much of a choose.' I said well maybe I do.  

That was a Friday and I called Jimmy (ya'll met Jimmy yesterday) and I told him my situation and I said is there anything you think we can do? He said 'yea, I'll work with you.' So we went over there, that was Friday and he's not open on Saturday, so I had to wait till Monday or Tuesday for an appointment with him.  

But I had determined just after talking to him that I was not going to take the Casadex or the Luprim shots, I knew that couldn't help me, it would just buy me a few extra months. Because if you can completely stop the cancer from getting testosterone, it shuts it down for a while. But you can only do that for a few months and then it doesn't work.  

So I was three days in hell and you talk about being humbled. I mean it's one thing to know that you are going to die, we all know that, right? It's another thing to know that you are going to die in a couple months, you know. That's when it really sets you back.

But when I made that decision, I was going to ask God to heal me and I would repent and do what I knew would be best. Just flood my body with the most potent high quality nutrition possible and I had a calm come over me, it was a kind of serenity. That's been over a year now, a year and three months ago. Now I can honestly tell you I have never had thoughts of o woe is me, or this whole thing is just killing me, or I just can't go any more. No.  

I haven't felt good... I actually felt better last November, December and January, than I have these last six or eight months. But I have not been spiritually depressed since that third day when I decided I was not going to take all those drugs and stuff. So, God knocked the props out from under me, but in three days He propped me back up again. I been propped up for over a year now.  

Of course this thing was going to be expensive, it's now run into tens of thousands of dollars, my treatment. I take over a hundred supplements a day. I have this one tray that sits on top and I have boxes of stuff underneath. My wife fills up these daily things, nine times a day I take four pills, six pills, seven pills, five pills or whatever, it's fifty two I think. Then I have what I call my nasty drink and I have this one box of stuff under the counter and there are twelve things that go into my nasty drink.

Jimmy is not expensive, I pay like $35 for a consultation and sometimes we will go for an hour. You know when you've got two or three doctors degrees and you counsel somebody for an hour for thirty five bucks, it doesn't get any cheaper than that. So Jimmy is not greedy.

But I take so much and do so many things that it has been fairly expensive. Larry was gracious enough that he drove down and gave me an ozone generator and a oxygen generator.  So I sit in a tent for one hour every day and flood my body with ozone.

I was buying high pH water, 9.5 pH water for $9 a gallon for a couple of week, that got pretty expensive.  $9 a day for water. Then people volunteered to help and Dennis said let me put your address on the forum for people and just let them send it right to you. Boy I'm telling you, you came to my rescue and I'm so thankful for it.  I mean it was probably ten or twelve days, I got a $2,500 water ionizer, to get the high pH water. Then in about eight or ten days ya'll had sent me enough to pay for that. I only had to pay $2000, because it had just come out and for a week or so they were going to promote it for $2000 rather than $2500.

So God has given me practical experience with the stuff I'm talking about. So don't talk to me about I've got some ego I'm protecting. No, I'm not protecting no ego. I fully realize if I'm going to be a teacher, I've got to put my money where my mouth is. So from that perspective I can thank God that I have cancer.  Something good will come out of it. Even if I die, something good will come out of it.  

So all of those who have been supporting me you just don't know how thankful and appreciative I am.  My wife goes out and gets the mail and she says, 'you got another letter here, I think from somebody who is writing to you about your cancer...' and there is a check. I know some people have very little money and they send $20. A few people every month they spend $25, another one that sends $50  periodically and there are others who have sent hundreds and hundreds of dollars.

But I have been able to pay all my expenses, every penny. I got behind one time there, when didn't too much money come in.  We put in all on a credit card so I know how much I'm spending. Some time last winter it got up to $7000 or $8000, but money was coming in and I just waited and while I'm waiting it went up to $10,000.  Then all these checks came in, in a relative short period of time, I mean I was really getting behind. And I sent a check off for $9000. A few people and some others around the country helped me and boy that's unbelievable and I'm thankful for it.  Because you know I'm keeping my head above water financially, because you are coming to my rescue. I just want everybody to know how thankful I am for that.

Denny and I talk almost daily and we talk about the news and the stupid things the government is doing from time to time and either me or him says well it's just part of the plan. It's all part of the plan, everything is right on schedule. We don't need to get all upset and beside ourselves, it just all part of the plan.

We were talking about this health care thing and how this is going to be so costly, it obscene. It could bring the country down. There has got to be a lot of way to make it cheaper. Well it's just part of the plan, you know, God uses the foolishness of man to govern and we are seeing the results, it's part of the plan.

If we didn't have that confidence, we would be out marching on Washington or carrying signs or going to these tea parties or something and getting all upset and beside ourselves too. But I don't fret it, I mean how can you be against what God is for?  

It has always been interesting to me every since I have known about the Sovereignty of God. You hear about praying for world peace, we need to have a day of prayer and pray for world peace. In other words pray that God is a liar, is that what you are saying? Pray that all of His prophesy are nothing but a crock of lies. He said this is the way that it's going to be. Are we to pray, 'no Lord I don't want Your will to be done or Your intention?' It's God's intention that not only those that He is calling are humbled, He going to humble the whole world.

I put it in the announcement you know where all nations will come and worship before Me. Well why will they do that? How will they do that? They will repent and be obedient, like Isaiah says.

Isa 26:9 ...for when Your judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness.

Oh yes they will and we will have a part in it. You know as bad as this disease is that I have and so on, I consider myself lucky in many ways. I've got a good wife and good friends. I've got a job to do and I like doing what I do. And I've got all of you and hundreds and hundreds of people send me emails that say, 'we are praying for you everyday Ray.'  

So it's one thing like I have a disease and according to the experts I'm going to die. I've got this black man, He's a nurse with Hospice and he just doesn't know what to make of me. He keeps saying, 'well tell me what has changed, are you felling any worse here? Are you losing your balance sometimes?' I say, no it's about the same. He says, 'be prepared, because it's going to get worse.' So I'm told that I'm finished, that my prognoses for survival is zero. That bad enough, but you know what's worse?  

This person that lives down in Mexico that my wife talked to the other day. She had wrote and asked if Ray's wife would call her. So my wife called and they talked for a long time. Now they don't have the money to do what I'm doing. Her husband is in bad pain, in bed and he takes morphine for the pain. I take some morphine too, but he takes 5 mg, that's like taking half a aspirin for crying out loud, it won't do anything. The difference between taking 5 mg of morphine and taking nothing is about the same. Certainly they don't have the money to travel to America or use the facility of Jimmy Steger. It's hard to encourage people like that and yet there is a lot of people like that and you can't very well ask people to take care of all of these hundreds of thousands of sick people. Jesus said the poor you will always have with you.  

Mat 26:11  For ye have the poor always with you; but Me ye have not always.

But I'm thinking that I really am pretty lucky, I mean this man is down there in a bed dying all by himself, I mean he has his wife.  But he doesn't have all you wonderful people praying... well he does now because I'm telling you to pray for him. They had already ask to pray for him on the forum.  But I wake up every day and there are people praying for me in virtually every state in the union. They are praying for me in New Zealand and Australia, in Europe and Sweden. Somebody wrote me yesterday from Amsterdam and another one from South Africa. These people are praying for me.  

Some of you are supplying my financial need, I say man how great is that. How many people have that going for them? There are people all over the world praying for me and writing letter of encouragement and so on. I'm in a lot better shape than so many people who are dying of these diseases, I can get as much morphine as I want. My doctor gave me a prescription for 60 mg, but I said no don't give me that, give me 30, I'll make it fine on 30 mg.

You may say, 'boy I don't see how you can be positive and so thankful, you're dying from cancer and in pain all day and don't sleep well at night.' Because it's just such a joy to know that so many, many wonderful people love me and are willing to sacrifice for me and write me letters of encouragement. I mean hey, I'm a lucky dude, I'm blessed.


                                                     YOU BECOME WHAT YOU THINK

[Question: In Jeremiah, it says He is going to forget our sins and remember our sins no more. The other day the thought came to me, the reason that we sometimes feel pain because we our focused on our sins instead of His mercy and love and we can't completely get okay. So I'm thinking why in the world am I remembering that? So we need to keep our mind and heart on Him and His love and do that and truly believe that Scripture and act it out.]

All those good Scriptures... see John said;

1John 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.

Then we read there in Philippians where Paul say;

Php 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on THESE things.

"Think on these things." He didn't say meditate on all your rotten sins and think about your sins. Yea you think about those sins. He didn't say that did he. He said you look at the good things and you think on those things. Why? Because you BECOME what you THINK.  

Think about... Denny and I, we debate who going to get different ones to judge. He says I want to judge him and I say no I want him, you know. But if you think about... 'I want to change world, I would love to be a part of that.'  Now I don't want some job I can't handle, I want to do what God thinks I can handle. But what I'm trying to teach you here, all you have to do is "think on these things," desire them. Because sometimes we don't have money, time, talent, education. We don't have those things. So how are we going to qualify? Because how you think and the fact that God's law is spiritual, you can do it.

Listen, here is another one, He's going to reward everyone according to their works, right? You don't have no money, don't have no talent, don't have the wherewithal to visit people to help people, don't have an education... how big is your reward going to be? It can be huge! I'll tell you why, these things are SPIRITUAL!

If you looked on a woman or you don't even look, you just meditate in your mind to lust after a woman, are you guilty of adultery? Yes.  

If you just 'think' about doing good to your fellow man and humanity and straightening out the evil and the wretchedness of this world... if you just 'think' about doing that, are you guilty of thinking those good things? Yes.

Will you receive a big reward for that? Yes.

You will be rewarded for not just what you would like to do, if you had the youth, the strength, the money, the energy, the education, the talents and the wherewithal. You will be rewarded, because you would like to do those things. You would want to do them.
 
Pro 23:7 For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

And that's how God equates it... absolutely!



(Thank you Colin Bay for all your work in transcribing this conference.)