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Deborah-Leigh:
Hello Eileen
I am not a stranger to widowhood. I lost my first husband when I was 24years old after 7 years not the decades you were with your Mark. I do not know that being widowed so young with so few years of marriage behind us was worse than being widowed with so much history that you have in your memories to look back on and cherish. I do know this - a part of me died when I lost my first husband. That part is true so I do empathise with the feeling that a part of you is with your Mark in his death. It is not unusual to feel the way you are feeling Eileen.
The acceptance part of the experience only comes later after the grief is so worn out our senses that there seemes to be nothing left of us to cry with and no more strenght to fight against the pain.
I feel your pain dear Eileen. God does too and He has the solution and the joy you will know as He draws you through this ordeal.
You will see Mark again in a better life.
Arc
EKnight:
Arc,
I can barely see my computer screen through my tears. Your words are so spot on. I had just explained to my kids last night that when their Dad and I got married we truly did become one flesh and now that huge part of my soul has died and unfortunately he was the better part of my being.
Remarkably (by the grace of God) I am not angry at God for taking Mark from me so soon. For the past few weeks I was fortunate that God gave me hints if you will, and thoughts about the prospect of losing Mark and I rehearsed it in my mind as if it happened. So I was not completely shocked when it actually did. But regardless, the pain feels almost greater than I can bare at times but I know God's reasons are always purposeful.
Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
Romans 8:17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
Romans 5:3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
2 Corinthians 1:5 For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
2 Corinthians 1:16 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.
Philippians 3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
15 All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained.
17 Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. 18For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. 19Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. 20But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.
I am not adept at reading the bible but these passages seem appropriate so if they are speaking of something that is not pertinent to pain and suffering for the love of Christ, feel free to correct me.
Love in Christ,
Eileen
Kat:
Hi Eileen,
I have been thinking of you often in this exceedingly difficult time you are going through and my hearts aches thinking of the great sadness you are feeling. Of course you feel a great grief for the lose of someone so dear to you. Christ also showed grief while on earth.
John 11:34 And He said, "Where have you laid him?"
They said to Him, "Lord, come and see."
v. 35 Jesus wept.
v. 36 Then the Jews said, "See how He loved him!"
Heb 4:15 For we have not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.
The verses you provide show the direction that you are being lead. I know that you were probably drawn to those Scriptures because they referred to "suffering," but there is much more, I want to point out those things too.
Romans 8:17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ...
v. 18 ...with the glory that will be revealed in us.
2 Corinthians 1:5 ...through Christ our comfort overflows.
Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
v. 20 But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.
Yes you must "press on," but not by your own strength, but by the "comforter" that is in you.
Joh 14:16 ...He shall give you another Comforter, so that He may be with you forever,
v. 17 ...But you know Him, for He dwells with you and shall be in you.
v. 18 I will not leave you orphans. I will come to you.
v. 26 But the Comforter, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send in My name, He shall teach you all things and bring all things to your remembrance, whatever I have said to you.
He still has things to "teach" you Eileen, do not fear you can lean on Him, because He is with you and will take care of you.
1Peter 5:6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,
v. 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
v. 10 But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.
v. 11 To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
mercy, peace and love
Kat
Deborah-Leigh:
I know what it is like when the tears are not tear drops, but a nonstop brimming over flow of tears that make it feel like you are looking from under water. I don’t quite know how to describe it. If feels like the tears are one long gushing out of water. Like a tap that is opened and the water runs through without pause. If feels like reality is behind a barrier of water that is your tears keeping you separate, alone, at the back of a stinging hot wall of tears. People are on the other side. You can hear them but everything is a blur and they do not seem to see or know what it is like for you. Unless they can just break through and hug you and feel what you are feeling, then if feels a bit better but just briefly. Even they cannot bear the pain enough to stay long with you as you suffer. Eventually they just have to stand back, look and say nothing.
They have the prayers of truth as they turn to the only One who really Knows what you are going through. Theirs are the Prayers of your family, speaking to Our Lord who is not immune to your feelings. Theirs are the prayers who bring forward those feelings that are undeniable, when you feel suddenly a powerful presence of calm, of love and of thick comfort surrounding your weary soul. Perhaps then someone is holding your pain for you for that moment just to help you regain some strength, some poise and some hope again. These are the prayers of those who say nothing but feel everything. They are far more capable of speaking to Our Lord from their own hearts that have no words but are carried in deep feelings of need for Our Lord.
It happens. I know it does. It is the blanket of prayers that are so important in our times of deep despair and darkness. It from the prayers of the righteous that avail much towards the Mercy that we receive from our Lord. Who of us wants to carry pain. Who wants to feel the burden of someone else. Non of us do but some of us are called to be that Simon of Cyrene pulled out from the crowd. It is not only one person but many that can touch us with healing and help. God has many emissaries of His Spirit available to help and often they do without knowing. It is God’s way to work in secret, in discretion and in intimate closeness to our needs as our souls cry in the sobbing throbbing pain of hurt.
I know it. I have experienced the gift of mercy pre-empted through prayers of the righteous. I know it. If there is someone who is faithful when I fail, if there is someone who is strong when I am weak, if there is someone praying when my mind is numb with pain, if there is someone there when I am alone, if there is someone hoping when my hope is gone, if there is someone, just one someone, then the gap in me, the hole in my heart and soul can be filled with just that one someone’s prayers. That one someone is Christ in all the hearts and souls remembering Him in the wake of your grief, because of your pain and because we only know One Someone who can help, heal, understand and console all the pain and still all the fears. That Someone is Christ.
It is only a few days now, and there will be more change to come that may surprise you, at how you are coping beyond your wildest expectations. One small step at a time. You are compassed about with the heartfelt prayers of the faithful for you and your children.
You have been daily in my feelings and thoughts.
Love to you and your children Eileen :'(
LiberatedEagle:
Hi Eileen,
I must say that I am in no wise as gifted as Arc and others in regards to giving words of comfort in trying times, but I wanted to say you have encouraged me. I know it's extremely hard for you right now, but God has not allowed Satan to steal your faith.
--- Quote ---I am not adept at reading the bible but these passages seem appropriate so if they are speaking of something that is not pertinent to pain and suffering for the love of Christ, feel free to correct me.
--- End quote ---
In my opinion these scriptures are very appropriate. You encourage me through your trial because I know we must suffer much tribulation to enter the Kingdom of God. God is showing me through your trial that He is able to strengthen us and create fruits of the spirit no matter how hard the trial may seem. The fact that you have audacity to post scriptures and ask if they are appropriate speaks volumes about your faith. God is using you Eileen whether you're aware of it or not. He always gets glory out of any situation. Darkness never consumes Light, but Light can always penetrate and consume the darkness.
"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Gen. 50:20
I'm still praying...
Charles
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