Yesterday evening as I lay on my bed just taking a bit of rest off my feet for a while, I felt that spiritual council draw near to me again. It is as though several persons in spirit come around me and they asked me if I wanted to go through the door. They showed me an open door where there was a flood of white light streaming through it. I looked at this, in my mind’s eye of course!...and considered what the proposal was. I felt by contrast to be in a shadow that was like a dawn after a long back drop of dark blind black prelude to this place of breaking into the light.
It’s you again, I thought. I got a soft affirmation. This experience had happened to me in some of my most painful moments during my first marriage after which my husband was shot dead by alledgedly, a complete stranger.
It’s you again, I thought. I have done this before and I can see the door and the light. It looks very inviting and I know if I say yes, I feel that my life as I know it will pass.
At Breakfast this morning I told my husband and he immediately identified death as the door into the light. He did not ask me if I want to die but felt certain that my ‘mind’s eye’ view of the door and the white light, represented death. Do I want to die? Do I want to leave my existence or my family? No. I don’t think so! If I say okay, will that mean my husband dies as he is my life in this world? I did not know how to answer the invitation by the council that stood before me showing me the door. I just sat there as though slumped on the floor one step beyond the door.
I do not live for myself and my life as I know it is so painful in deep recess of my starving soul yet bright on the surface of day to day life. Yes I have all the things I need and more of the beauty that God has made for us to enjoy in his handiwork of love made evident through nature that surrounds my home like never before.
I thought the door was about the meeting my husband is to have this morning with business people who may be the signature on our lives that will change how we live irreversibly. I thought the deal, that proverbial “deal” of business that assures the privilege of being cut off the bonds of financial agony to meet the demands of survival, was the door that faced me. I did not for once think of death when in my mind’s eye I saw the door open and the invitation to cross the threshold.
I do not want to be left in this world, well catered for financially but destitute without my husband! His health is fragile and his efforts to provide for his family have been relentless but futile under the burden of Court Cases that have continued against him over the last decade. My husband is weary and unable to change the causes that propel him into circumstances we know are not written by our desires for comfort and peace. In this world you will have troubles. We want no part of the world yet it has to be there! We live in the world and as Ray would say…."for crying out loud!"
I am going to say yes to that open door because life in this dark abysmal shadow of life is too cold, too painful and after all, don’t we have Someone very significant who did the same thing? Father into Your Hands I commend my Spirit. Jesus Christ on Calvary.
I gave up my soul in February. May God have Mercy as He does and as He has prepared me to Trust Him through which He has brought me every step and every day and breath of my life. To Him be our thanks and worship.
If that door is the one God has opened, then I can rest assured, no man will be able to close it! Therein lies my peace. Stepping across that threshold is life not death, it is peace not pain, it is Love not Hate, it is God in His Presence that is with all those who desperately seek His Love in their lives.
We have all to die to life as we know it. We have all to cross that threshold into the Kingdom of our God.
God is with us. God is with you too. Can you feel the Love?
Love to you
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Topic: "There's a Place for US" (Read 3602 times)