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[Roy Martin]

Hello everyone, I hope its a good day for all of you.
 I'm going to share whats been going on with me lately, or rather how I've been tested so to speak.
 Prior to a month ago I was in Spirit more than I ever have been. Every thought and almost every word that came out of my mouth were about God. It lasted over a month or maybe two. More things were revealed to me than ever before. I would wake during sleep and be praying things like; just thank you God. Sometimes I wouldn't even know what I was praying. I can't exaggerate what was going on, but it was overwhelming. Several times I told Silvia that this is waring me down, but I didn't want it to stop. During this time I wasn't studying the word, just reading the forum. Well at some point I made a comment to Silvia that the Spirit is all I need to teach me, its here inside me, not out there somewhere. I'm not going to except anything less, this is how its going to be. As soon as I said that I felt a sort of sting as if maybe I shouldn't have said that.I awoke the next day and I immediately knew I was no longer in Spirit. I slowly stopped thinking about God. I got farther and farther away each day. I lost interest in the forum, but I didn't want this.I wanted to be in Spirit having God thoughts and conversations with Silvia, and all of you, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make it happen.I couldn't even make myself pray.I lost the words that God was placing in me to say. I couldn't find anything to say about God. I was becoming afraid that I was falling away to never come back. Am I losing the faith, I asked, but got no answer. The world was overcoming me, and I couldn't stop it.
 A week or so ago Craig posted, "You Never Know Who Your Words Will Touch"
I read it, and immediately thought this was God calling me back, but the test wasn't over yet, because I lost it again, and I knew it when I posted a couple of times that I later deleted because I could see my heart wasn't right in some of the words. I'm not going to say all the things that were bothering me. This post is about being tested.
 I read, "What shall I call this?" by Arcturus, and suddenly I knew I was being tested just as she was. I knew this the whole time, but just let it go as my carnality seemed to be in control at a very uncomfortable rate.
 I'm still trying to figure out what it is I'm suppose to learn in this. I know all to well that God doesn't do things in singles when it comes to lessons. First, look and judge myself which I can't even do without Christ. I have to look and judge myself while looking at, and to Christ at the same time, of which I can't do on my own either.
 At least I'm back posting which I feel is a start to seeing what it is I'm going to see in this test.
 I have much more to say about this test but maybe I should stop here. I'll say one more thing of which all of you know is that we aren't in control of one little thing. I can see the word kills without the Spirit. People read the word as they see it in the flesh, choose this and that, do this and that, but I see all of these things that without Christ we can do none of them, no not one.
 We get in a comfort zone for too long, and slam, oh yea! take a look at yourself, what do you see?
 I knew I had been comfortable for too long. I tried to ignore; that comfort too long means a Spiritual slam about to happen. It seems that without the slam, I'm not growing in Christ.
 Oh well! its all just one great big Spiritual roller coaster ride,and God is the one that put us on it. We go to the top and see how high we are, and then we take that big drop that just leads to another incline or curve. What a ride!
 Good day to everyone.

Peace
Roy
 
PS. I'm already feeling better just by posting this.

[lauriellen]

thank you Roy for sharing that....it is VERY encouraging to me, and i am sure all who read your posts....we all are going through hills and valleys, and you are right, it is the 'slam' that makes us grow...Ray says that God shapes us into His image through 'extreme pressure', and i am coming to realize that the 'comfortable' periods won't last too long if we are to keep being 'made in His image."....blessing to you.
lauriellen

[Deborah-Leigh]

Sitting in the sand pit…do you want to live forever…forever young…do you really want to live forever.   Lyrics to a song as I read your post Roy.

I have so enjoyed the magnificent sensitivity expressed in Rays recent responces to allegations of his arrogance. Oh God is so good to come down to our earth and speak His Words to Day and Night. He is God. Can you hear His tone? Can you feel the freedom?

Roy, when you said “I'm not going to except anything less, this is how its going to be.” RThat is really letting go of the bar in mid-flight. Oh ROY my dear brother. Therein is the exhibition of King Nebuchadnezzar re-portrayed before us through you! You are not going to….not going to…NOT GOING to wh…wha…WHAT?  YOU..YOU are NOT…what?

Roy, what an awesome thing God shows us through you! As Nebuchadnezzar.. no sooner had he uttered the words

Dan 4:31  While the word was in the king's mouth, there fell a voice from heaven, saying, O king Nebuchadnezzar, to thee it is spoken; The kingdom is departed from thee.

YOU Roy, you WERE  walking, talking, and receiving communion with GOD quite UNLIKE Nebuchadnezzar who was in self approval mode! You were in God’s embrace, His intimacy and confidence. You WERE. Few EVER get to experience that. FEW! You were there just like Neal Armstrong…one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind! Look where you were. What a privilege.


Then you came to tell us about it. God caused that. HE knew you would do as all of mankind would do in your shoes! He chose you to do exactly what you did. Just like Adam before you and every single human being who has ever drawn breath. We all would affirm our desire, our authority, our will, our ability and our, dare I say…sovereignty!  You have done what many continue to do every day of all the days of their lives. You expressed your mortality in denial of God’s Sovereignty, and God in His awesome breath taking Love for you, He did not send you strong delusion> God "sent you"  as like King Nebuchadnezzar, who loved Daniel, who rewarded and applauded Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who loved God and came to know HIM.

Roy  YOU were shown the consequence of the illusion of having free will outside the Sovereignty of God. God showed you and made it painful enough for you to be caused to take note and to share in the humility of acknowledging that God is Good and He causes EVERYTHING.  God LOVE you Roy.

Not only that, but God caused you to catch hold of me in my trapeze artistry within the high rafters of the Forum flying through the air after letting go of the bar, and whoosh, there I go again, right here in your post, performing the majesty of flight in the Spirit of God while we stand again looking up, seeking His Kingdom and knowing we are in His Plan and Purpose and LOVE. Where are you going next? Aha for the joy of it !  And Ray, as sick as his flesh is, he is there right at the top taking the highest winds and feeling the deepest awe! Oh for the LOVE of God, who would go so far. You? I? Could God be possibly preparing us for something?
 Perhaps..maybe can we dare hope? I think I can if you can, if we can. Can we? I am going to I think,  so bye! God’s got me and you and everyone and everything. Where am I going. I don’t know. Maybe to the trampoline, maybe the swimming pool….maybe just on the floor again for a while or to the other class of life God has designed as He makes me and you and us fit for His Purposes and Plans. I cannot ask you to do anything for me and from myself, I can expect less. God does what He does better than any man.


Dan 4:34  And at the end of days, I Nebuchadnezzar lifted up my eyes to Heaven, and my understanding returned to me, and I blessed the Most High, and I praised and honored Him who lives forever, whose kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and His rule is from generation to generation.
Dan 4:35  And all the people of the earth are counted as nothing; and He does according to His will in the army of heaven, and among the people of the earth. And none can strike His hand, or say to Him, What are You doing?
Dan 4:36  At that time my reason returned to me. And the glory of my kingdom, my honor and brightness returned to me. And my advisers and my lords came for me, and I was established in my kingdom, and excellent majesty was added to me.
Dan 4:37  Now I Nebuchadnezzar praise and exalt and honor the King of heaven, all whose works are truth and His ways judgment. And those who walk in pride He is able to humble.

…and He is able to exalt, restore and raise up for HE is our honor and strenght, our Resurrection and our Life, that  Heb 11:40  for God had provided some better thing for us, that they should not be made perfect without us.



WE are the Kingdom...Ref L Ray Smith.


Luk 6:36  Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.
Luk 6:37  Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
1Jn 3:20  For if our heart condemn US, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth ALL things.

The in breath, coming together, is life. God working all things TOGETHER for the best to those who love Him. The out breath is death, dispensed carbon monoxide that is exhaled, not coming together, for those who do not love God. God is breathing us in. That is the sweet perfume that is rising up through Christ into the lungs and heart beat of our God, the Body of Christ.

Arc

"The conceit of modern man is that we can understand everything and therefore dominate it." David Suzuki Geneticist

[bluzman]

Roy, your concern and compassion for me during this dark terrible time that I am in is a very bright and warm light that I can look to. God bless you brother, cause He is with me in your words, which are His.
Bluzman

[Roy Martin]

Thanks everyone for (your) encouraging words.
It feels good to be back to the forum in Spirit. Isn't it amazing how God uses us for each other?

Ches. my brother, you know my heart, and I know yours. Someday we will sit and talk, play a little music maybe, and enjoy what God has gave us.
 Your eyes are on God; this I know.

Peace
Roy

[soberxp]

Roy
  I want to add something,I know not every Test from god,sometimes that's from satan.
  we need to keep strong faith at any moment.

Peace
soberxp

[Roy Martin]

Hi soberxp,
 Its true that we must have faith, but we can't freely choose faith even if we want it. It has to come from God according to His time frame and conditions such as trials, tribulations, falling and being gently lifted back up by God. We will be tested; no matter how much faith we have.
 Its not a bad thing to be tested. Consider it a good thing that God is doing a good work in us through these test.

Peace
Roy