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Author Topic: Husband's Habit...  (Read 3836 times)

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mharrell08

  • Guest
Husband's Habit...
« on: May 04, 2010, 03:44:49 PM »

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife
and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he
was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic foot steps as he ran into the bath room. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
 
He said, 'honey you were right.' 'all these years you have warned me and i didn't listen to you.'

'what do you mean?' asked his wife.

'Well, you always told me that one day i would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.

But by the grace of god, some vaseline and two fingers. I think i got most of them back in.'


Marques
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onelovedread

  • Guest
Re: Husband's Habit...
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2010, 03:52:02 PM »

Marques
Wicked!
You had me laughing out loud at work. Everyone's wondering what the heck is wrong with me.
Too much trust in that there marriage, if you ask me.
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Marky Mark

  • Guest
Re: Husband's Habit...
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2010, 06:04:23 PM »

 OUCH!!    Marques my friend;  That deserves a marquee.  Funny stuff...ing

You Are A Bad Boy...   :o    :D    :P

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aqrinc

  • Guest
Re: Husband's Habit...
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2010, 06:41:27 PM »


Marques?????????????

You need a timeout me think.

george :-[ :-X.

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arion

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Re: Husband's Habit...
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2010, 07:24:51 PM »

Thats an oldie.  I've read it somewhere else before.  The first time you come across it best not be drinking any coffee or pop because you would spew it over the monitor.
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judith collier

  • Guest
Re: Husband's Habit...
« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2010, 04:40:04 AM »

He'd be sleeping in another bedroom!!!!
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firefly77

  • Guest
Re: Husband's Habit...
« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2010, 09:48:49 AM »

I am very grateful that my stomach was empty... *turns white and gags" :o

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