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[judith collier]

Im not sure whether to ask for prayers for myself or my son. I really do know the prayers are needed for my son but he can get me so stirred up I almost need prayers. Michael is 42 and needs a job. He has full custody of his 13 yr. old son, Chase, who is a handful, ADHD!!!! (on meds)This kid is completely unable or unwilling to take any responsibility for his schoolwork and my son gets twisted in knots with him.(the mother is o.k. at best)
Michael is articulate and tells me every emotion, every fact and every fear he has. Believe me no woman could do better. I tell him about trusting God, recite some of God's word and by time I get off the phone I am a basket case. It is hard talking to someone who doesn't understand. He is getting better at listening and his heart doesn't seem as hard as it used to be. In defense of him I will say he had a few instances of innapropiate behavior by priests. Nothing really bad but very innapropiate, thus the connection with God was mistrusted.
I wish and pray the grandson would get better and since 3 times of unemployment are now ended Michael is anxiety riddled. I have told him he can always use our home line for money as his credit is not too good (was, but changing, very materialistic) and that his father and myself would not let him lose his house. He has always been a hard worker but is losing his confidence. And he is good at almost anything. Worked in finance, drove a flatbed, had computer fixing jobs and even took up detailing cars and vans and worked in gold plating
I would feel better knowing someone besides myself is praying for him and my grandson. My husband is no help. I am trying to keep the faith but am overwhelmed by all of it. Thank you, judy

[Marlene]

Judy, You can count on me to pray for you and your son and all concerned.

In His Love,
Marlene

[Ninny]

Judy,
I know you are feeling overwhelmed..I'll be praying for you and your son and your grandson..You know I will pray for you! I feel for your son, I have a son whose name is Michael, too! He's been out of work for a long time..and it is very frustrating...He lives in Northern Indiana and the jobs there are pretty scarce..he has a good prospect so maybe that will happen...Don't lose heart for your son or your grandson...You have a big family here and when we put our hearts together...you have a strong support system!!
Love you!!
Kathy

[judith collier]

Thanks girls. Mother's can get so bent out of shape when their children suffer. We love them so much and sometimes forget God loves them too. There was an ultercation between my son and his son tonight. I pray the power struggles between them will cease. It got so bad my son called the police on Chase. He said he had to because this 5'11" 14 yr. old tore the blinds off his bedroom window and threatened him because he wasn't allowed to go somewhere. Michael was afraid he might lose his temper completely. Chase settled down when he knew his dad was very serious, The policeman told Chase he had better mind his father or they would haul him off to juvenile hall the next time. It is really bad. Chase used to go to bible school when he was younger and I got him a bible with cartoon characters, he used to love it, maybe it was just the cartoons, he does not want to hear about God at this age. I couldn't take it and had to get off the phone with Michael and let his father take over. Actually my husband did a decent job talking with him and told him to ease up on the boy and instead start talking with him instead of disciplining him like a 10 year old. Please keep the prayers coming as I think they are bringing more out into the open. A meeting with a children's counselor is scheduled and perhaps new meds again!! An immature and raging 5'11" child is scary. This kid has never been allowed to watch certain movies or spend much time on the computer nor does he play very many video games so it is not like he ws raised badly, it is just the kids hear from other kids that are allowed to burn their brains out and run all over creation without much parenting and figure they should be allowed this too. Rebellion is rampant. Thanks, judy

[Deborah-Leigh]

Dear Judy

Your painful circumstances describe for me, what is written in LOF 12


TOSSED by the frightening trials and tribulations of this life?

…..The word "tossed" appears but four times in the New Testament, and all four times it is translated from a different word. In this verse, tossed is translated from the Greek word basanizo, and here is its definition: "#928. basanizo, to torture:--torment. Basanizo, as a verb, properly signifies in Greek
(1) ‘to test by rubbing on the touchstone’ [basanos, ‘a touchstone’], then,
(1a) ‘to question by applying torture’; hence
(1b) ‘to vex, torment’;
(2) in the NT in the passive voice,
(2a) ‘to be harassed, (2b) distressed’;
(2c) it is said of men struggling in a boat against wind and waves: ‘But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed (bazanizo) with waves: for the wind was contrary’ (Mat. 14:24; Mark 6:48)." (Strong’s Greek Dictionary, p. 51).
...unquote

Ray writes that these experiences are necessary.... But it is absolutely necessary for man to go through this bassnizo, or torment because it is part of his spiritual development and spiritual perfection.

It is not for nothing that Paul wrote:

Act 26:29  And Paul said, I would pray to God, both in a little and in much, that not only you, but also all hearing me today to become as I also am, except for these bonds.


Jesus prayed for us.


Joh 17:20  And I do not pray for these alone, but for those also who shall believe on Me through their word,

It is not trivial to be going through what you are experiencing Judy. It is temporal and has a lasting and beautiful outcome. Rest assured you are in my prayers and thoughts for your well being, peace and joy in the Lord.

Arc

[aqrinc]

Thanks girls. Mother's can get so bent out of shape when their children suffer. We love them so much and sometimes forget God loves them too. There was an altercation between my son and his son tonight. I pray the power struggles between them will cease. It got so bad my son called the police on Chase. He said he had to because this 5'11" 14 yr. old tore the blinds off his bedroom window and threatened him because he wasn't allowed to go somewhere. Michael was afraid he might lose his temper completely. Chase settled down when he knew his dad was very serious, The policeman told Chase he had better mind his father or they would haul him off to juvenile hall the next time. It is really bad. Chase used to go to bible school when he was younger and I got him a bible with cartoon characters, he used to love it, maybe it was just the cartoons, he does not want to hear about God at this age. I couldn't take it and had to get off the phone with Michael and let his father take over. Actually my husband did a decent job talking with him and told him to ease up on the boy and instead start talking with him instead of disciplining him like a 10 year old. Please keep the prayers coming as I think they are bringing more out into the open. A meeting with a children's counselor is scheduled and perhaps new meds again!! An immature and raging 5'11" child is scary. This kid has never been allowed to watch certain movies or spend much time on the computer nor does he play very many video games so it is not like he was raised badly, it is just the kids hear from other kids that are allowed to burn their brains out and run all over creation without much parenting and figure they should be allowed this too. Rebellion is rampant. Thanks, judy

Judy,

Look at the red highlight, is that the way he should go.

Children have to be children before they can grow up, as parents we need to provide a safe haven for them. Not a cage with locks on the outside to keep then penned in. Take the example GOD Does with us, see if that is the same or similar chance we give our young ones.

My sons are now 35 and 28 yrs old. They have run the complete race to this point, from incredibly precocious, to viciously selfish, to parents are stupid, to mom and dad, what do you think i should do, to wow Mom/Dad, you are the greatest; All in the same day sometimes.

I can look back on their childhood and compare it to mine, no comparison in terms of opportunity for me to correct my parenting skills. The model you might advise your son to use is the very model GOD Always uses for us, that is the wheel, no need to reinvent it.

Very important Scripture:

Pro 22:6 (BBE)
If a child is trained up in the right way, even when he is old he will not be turned away from it.

Pro 22:6 (GNB)
Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life.

Pro 22:6 (YLT)
Give instruction to a youth about his way, Even when he is old he turneth not from it.

Pro 22:6 (MKJV)
Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

The key here is to train up a child in the right way, not your own way, kids are unique, not stamped out. Help to refine with out manipulating them, and most of all practice unrequited LOVE. Just like GOD And our Lord Jesus Christ.

george .

[lauriellen]

Judy, i feel for you and pray for your family peace, comfort & strength to endure.
george, sounds so easy, huh? just 'train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it'?....well, sometimes no matter how hard you try, God has other plans....and maybe the 'when he is old' part isn't talking about 'old' in this lifetime, maybe during the white throne judgement?
lauriellen

[judith collier]

Thanks. It is true that even if a child is taught properly that it might take many years and many experiences to come back around. Their peers are so important to them,  but being ADHD Chase has trouble reading other kids as he wants friends so badly. He will push in where he is not wanted. 7 boys beat him up and are now in the process of going to court. He thinks he knows it all and very stubborn. It took me at least an hour one day just to calm him down and to be able to get through to him. I do think his father, my son, is too hard on him AND too easy. Kids know when there is loving and consistent authority that is positive. Even then Chase will push and I think because he is so big he thinks he is grown up. With ADHD kids forget from one minute to the next and the last thing they want is somebody questioning them which my son does constantly. Moral authority comes from God and my son doesn't have that. Arguing and expecting to win every battle with a kid is too much but my son will not listen to me, not that I could do better over the long haul. Please keep praying, I am going to find out as much as I can on the internet. judy

[aqrinc]

Judy,

I have come to know you as a very tough exterior person, with a so tender and mushy interior (heart). There are days when we just want to say why, and why me; that is when we get the best chances to learn by knowing that GOD Is Right There In the situation with us, and teaching a lesson that is vital for us to learn (humility).

It is not easy for me to even post these answers on here, because i do not want to offend, but i am learning daily, why humility is such an important trait we need to have. Knowing that these trials only serve to bring us to perfection, as our Father GOD And HIS Son Christ Jesus Are Perfect; is what many days all i hang onto as this seeming madness goes on around us.

Seeming madness, because i can now see that in everything we experience, there is a perfectly designed method to get the maximum benefit for us, with the minimum duress. Only One, GOD, Who Is totally concerned for the object (us), rather than the process (exercise) would design such an Intricately Complex yet Mercifully careful process, to perfect HIS children.

Thank GOD And our Lord Jesus Christ every second of the day. I dare anyone to come up with a better design.

Joh 3:16-17 (CLV)
16 For thus God loves the world, so that He gives His only-begotten Son, that everyone who is believing in Him should not be perishing, but may be having life eonian."
17 For God does not dispatch His Son into the world that He should be judging the world, but that the world may be saved through Him."

george .

 

[judith collier]

George, I found your description of me right on the money. Here is probably the only place I let my hair down. Yes, I have to start praising God NOW. Overlaying my thoughts with the goodness of God, eliminating fear and then having hope and keeping faith which pleases God.
My son is talking to me again after I told him that he has to change too. I pray that he wouldn't see every piece of advice as putting him down. Michael has always been super sensitive, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.. But he doesn't realize that the gift of sensitivity is to be used towards others and not for our own coddling. Thanks, Judy

[aqrinc]

Judy My Sister,

GOD Is LOVE; as we must become, By HIS Design.

george .

[Roy Coates]

Praying for you and yours, peace in the name of Jesus.

[judith collier]

Please, the prayers are doing things. Really!!! First I found the Asperger site which fits Chase to a T. Aspergers is a branch of autism. Not nearly as bad but still frustrating. Forwarded it to my son as the site has all kinds of info and parents can interact. Michael DIDN"T call me up and tell me to quit sending it so, holding my breath.
Now, would you believe this!!!! Tonight Michael took the boy to school for a fun night (Michael is always at the school concerning Chase) and---Chase won a computer that had been re-done. He also won 2 board games and after loading the car, the staff had packed up loads of food for them to take home!!!!!!
That's God!! Michael said he was going to let Chase get a few decent games and come fall hook it up to the internet if he has a job. Chase will need it for school.
Now, for the job. God, how I wish there were more factories here. I remember working in electronic factories for about 10 yrs. The reason I liked them was because I was good with my hands and I didn't have the stress of working with my brain all day. Being a bit of a nervous type as is my son this would be perfect. But the Lord knows where a job is so I will leave it to Him. I have asked for many more blessings for them  and am more than grateful to such a good God!! Judy

[Roy Coates]

Praise God

[aqrinc]

Hi Judy,

Miracles do happen, just because we have done thing one way all our lives, does not mean that GOD Will not cause our circumstances to change and then provide the (way out) solution for us to make a new decision.

When we believe, that is not just because we like it, but we have been enabled, By GOD to adopt and become what is needed for us to move forward. That is a miracle; turning water into wine is not, that is just good chemistry, which we know GOD IS The Ultimate Scientist In Every Field.

What is funny today is seeing how little we can really comprehend of our GREAT FATHER And HIS Son Christ Jesus, our only Hope, and a CERTAIN HOPE TOO. Contemplate the magnitude of what happenned overnight, for you, your son and grandson; then never again doubt (today ) that our FATHER KNOW'S BEST Everytime.

This is all one long sentence, beautiful picture?

Php 1:3-7 (LITV)
3  I thank my God on all the remembrance of you,
4  always in my every prayer on your behalf making my prayer with joy
5  over your fellowship in the gospel, from the first day until now,
6  being persuaded of this very thing, that the One having begun a good work in you will finish it until the day of Jesus Christ;
7  as it is righteous for me to think this of you all because you have me in your heart, both in my bonds and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you are all sharers of the grace with me.

george .

[judith collier]

George, I believe your one sentence in this thread about praising God every moment helped me turn my thinking around into expection of good. I do believe when we trust God and fullly believe in His Word that this sets off or at least meets the pre-ordained blessings wherein He gets the glory. And I did ask God for a special blessing, something that would bring an awareness to my son and his of God's goodness. Michael didn't dismiss this incident totally in regard to an answer to prayer which I told him was being offered on his behalf by people of faith on a great website. Sometimes we just need a boost, even God given faith becomes imperfect when put into the heart of man. Judy

[GinaMilan]

Please, the prayers are doing things. Really!!! First I found the Asperger site which fits Chase to a T. Aspergers is a branch of autism. Not nearly as bad but still frustrating. Forwarded it to my son as the site has all kinds of info and parents can interact. Michael DIDN"T call me up and tell me to quit sending it so, holding my breath. 

Now, would you believe this!!!! Tonight Michael took the boy to school for a fun night (Michael is always at the school concerning Chase) and---Chase won a computer that had been re-done. He also won 2 board games and after loading the car, the staff had packed up loads of food for them to take home!!!!!!
That's God!! Michael said he was going to let Chase get a few decent games and come fall hook it up to the internet if he has a job. Chase will need it for school.
Now, for the job. God, how I wish there were more factories here. I remember working in electronic factories for about 10 yrs. The reason I liked them was because I was good with my hands and I didn't have the stress of working with my brain all day. Being a bit of a nervous type as is my son this would be perfect. But the Lord knows where a job is so I will leave it to Him. I have asked for many more blessings for them  and am more than grateful to such a good God!! Judy

Hey, Judy,

This is great news.  I was curious if in the aspergers website there's any mention of the benefits of a gluten / wheat-free diet?  I only ask because I worked with a man whose son had severe autism and his boy did an about-face (going from fits of rage every day all day long to calm and communicative), not overnight but in a relatively short period after the wheat/gluten was removed from his diet (among other forms of therapy).  I know another man personally who has a gluten/wheat intolerance and he experienced the same relief on a gluten/wheat-free diet.  I hope this helps.

Gina

[judith collier]

Gina, thanks. I will bring this to my son's attention. They probably do eat this .We had to hide food for awhile from Chase , especially something sweet because he would devour a whole box or bag of cookies and doughnuts. His father just the other day found he had eaten 3 boxes of ho-hos hid in a cupboard. And he must have done this early in the morning. Michael is a good cook and feeds him well, he can't be hungry constantly. We think it is his med.
Chase swirls his hands into a spiral, it is called flapping. It's almost like a ritual. Doesn't do this on his med. Very unnerving! Or he will be gracious one min. then sarcastic the next. He likes to look in the mirror when he talks. And lately he has been saying he has a different God than myself when I know his mother takes him to a Christian church occasionally. I said, 'Chase your mother and I both believe in Jesus." it's like he hates us at times and we would do anything for him, taking him places, staying over night, listening to him. He can sound like a mature man at times and then go into a routine of a 6 yr. old. He is difficult. We don't know if he is a genius or insane. Judy

[cjwood]

We don't know if he is a genius or insane.

judy, your statement above really stopped me in my tracks. i was wondering if chase's pediatric doc, from when he was a little kid, ever noted anything about autism or aspergers in chase's med. files. i will keep him in my prayers. i pray that chase can find the help he needs, in all areas of his life. i have a 3 yr. old great niece named reilly who is autistic. she just finished her first year in pre-school and through her teachers, specialists and classmates, God the Father is bringing healing, in many ways. but, although they happen less often, on reilly's bad days we wonder sometimes too if she is genius or insane. but she is genius. and she is awesome. your chase is too.

claudia

claudia

[GinaMilan]

Gina, thanks. I will bring this to my son's attention. They probably do eat this .We had to hide food for awhile from Chase , especially something sweet because he would devour a whole box or bag of cookies and doughnuts. His father just the other day found he had eaten 3 boxes of ho-hos hid in a cupboard. And he must have done this early in the morning. Michael is a good cook and feeds him well, he can't be hungry constantly. We think it is his med.
Chase swirls his hands into a spiral, it is called flapping. It's almost like a ritual. Doesn't do this on his med. Very unnerving! Or he will be gracious one min. then sarcastic the next. He likes to look in the mirror when he talks. And lately he has been saying he has a different God than myself when I know his mother takes him to a Christian church occasionally. I said, 'Chase your mother and I both believe in Jesus." it's like he hates us at times and we would do anything for him, taking him places, staying over night, listening to him. He can sound like a mature man at times and then go into a routine of a 6 yr. old. He is difficult. We don't know if he is a genius or insane. Judy

Hey, Judy

It's good your son's interested in Chase's diet.   Yeah, I suppose you're right - Chase's sugar cravings could be the meds.  I wonder if it could be a yeast imbalance in his gut from all the sugar/wheat he's eating, ya know?  And it's hard to kick a sugar habit.  The diet is so hard to change.  I have the hardest time staying off of the donuts and the bagels, and now that I'm sharing a place with a friend who loves to cook, I'm eating things I wouldn't normally eat.

Eleven cavities and $2,500 in dental bills later, my oldest daughter confessed to me 4 years ago that all she had every day throughout high school were two Giant Snicker's Candy Bars and 2 soft drinks.  I didn't buy the stuff or keep it in the house, but she'd sneak it.  She was so depressed she told me, and said she was feeling suicidal during that time and put two and two together after she graduated from high school because a good friend of hers got her all excited about going vegetarian (it's like the big thing now with college kids). 

Now she's almost completely raw-vegetable and fruit diet - no meat, dairy.  (No thank you very much!  ).   I do have to admit, though, her cystic acne and mood swings basically have disappeared.  I had no idea just what a diet can do to a person's emotions (not to mention our complexions) until I saw the change in her.   Her friend is an answer to prayer.  Now, of course, she's hounding me about my diet.  (Not really, but she is very excited about how much better she feels and looks and it does interest me a lot.)

Please keep us posted, Judy.  You're speaking my language!