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aqrinc:

--- Quote from: Judy on May 16, 2010, 09:21:53 AM ---Thanks girls. Mother's can get so bent out of shape when their children suffer. We love them so much and sometimes forget God loves them too. There was an altercation between my son and his son tonight. I pray the power struggles between them will cease. It got so bad my son called the police on Chase. He said he had to because this 5'11" 14 yr. old tore the blinds off his bedroom window and threatened him because he wasn't allowed to go somewhere. Michael was afraid he might lose his temper completely. Chase settled down when he knew his dad was very serious, The policeman told Chase he had better mind his father or they would haul him off to juvenile hall the next time. It is really bad. Chase used to go to bible school when he was younger and I got him a bible with cartoon characters, he used to love it, maybe it was just the cartoons, he does not want to hear about God at this age. I couldn't take it and had to get off the phone with Michael and let his father take over. Actually my husband did a decent job talking with him and told him to ease up on the boy and instead start talking with him instead of disciplining him like a 10 year old. Please keep the prayers coming as I think they are bringing more out into the open. A meeting with a children's counselor is scheduled and perhaps new meds again!! An immature and raging 5'11" child is scary. This kid has never been allowed to watch certain movies or spend much time on the computer nor does he play very many video games so it is not like he was raised badly, it is just the kids hear from other kids that are allowed to burn their brains out and run all over creation without much parenting and figure they should be allowed this too. Rebellion is rampant. Thanks, judy

--- End quote ---

Judy,

Look at the red highlight, is that the way he should go.

Children have to be children before they can grow up, as parents we need to provide a safe haven for them. Not a cage with locks on the outside to keep then penned in. Take the example GOD Does with us, see if that is the same or similar chance we give our young ones.

My sons are now 35 and 28 yrs old. They have run the complete race to this point, from incredibly precocious, to viciously selfish, to parents are stupid, to mom and dad, what do you think i should do, to wow Mom/Dad, you are the greatest; All in the same day sometimes.

I can look back on their childhood and compare it to mine, no comparison in terms of opportunity for me to correct my parenting skills. The model you might advise your son to use is the very model GOD Always uses for us, that is the wheel, no need to reinvent it.

Very important Scripture:

Pro 22:6 (BBE)
If a child is trained up in the right way, even when he is old he will not be turned away from it.

Pro 22:6 (GNB)
Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their life.

Pro 22:6 (YLT)
Give instruction to a youth about his way, Even when he is old he turneth not from it.

Pro 22:6 (MKJV)
Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

The key here is to train up a child in the right way, not your own way, kids are unique, not stamped out. Help to refine with out manipulating them, and most of all practice unrequited LOVE. Just like GOD And our Lord Jesus Christ.

george :).

lauriellen:
Judy, i feel for you and pray for your family peace, comfort & strength to endure.
george, sounds so easy, huh? just 'train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it'?....well, sometimes no matter how hard you try, God has other plans....and maybe the 'when he is old' part isn't talking about 'old' in this lifetime, maybe during the white throne judgement?
lauriellen

judith collier:
Thanks. It is true that even if a child is taught properly that it might take many years and many experiences to come back around. Their peers are so important to them,  but being ADHD Chase has trouble reading other kids as he wants friends so badly. He will push in where he is not wanted. 7 boys beat him up and are now in the process of going to court. He thinks he knows it all and very stubborn. It took me at least an hour one day just to calm him down and to be able to get through to him. I do think his father, my son, is too hard on him AND too easy. Kids know when there is loving and consistent authority that is positive. Even then Chase will push and I think because he is so big he thinks he is grown up. With ADHD kids forget from one minute to the next and the last thing they want is somebody questioning them which my son does constantly. Moral authority comes from God and my son doesn't have that. Arguing and expecting to win every battle with a kid is too much but my son will not listen to me, not that I could do better over the long haul. Please keep praying, I am going to find out as much as I can on the internet. judy

aqrinc:

Judy,

I have come to know you as a very tough exterior person, with a so tender and mushy interior (heart). There are days when we just want to say why, and why me; that is when we get the best chances to learn by knowing that GOD Is Right There In the situation with us, and teaching a lesson that is vital for us to learn (humility).

It is not easy for me to even post these answers on here, because i do not want to offend, but i am learning daily, why humility is such an important trait we need to have. Knowing that these trials only serve to bring us to perfection, as our Father GOD And HIS Son Christ Jesus Are Perfect; is what many days all i hang onto as this seeming madness goes on around us.

Seeming madness, because i can now see that in everything we experience, there is a perfectly designed method to get the maximum benefit for us, with the minimum duress. Only One, GOD, Who Is totally concerned for the object (us), rather than the process (exercise) would design such an Intricately Complex yet Mercifully careful process, to perfect HIS children.

Thank GOD And our Lord Jesus Christ every second of the day. I dare anyone to come up with a better design.

Joh 3:16-17 (CLV)
16 For thus God loves the world, so that He gives His only-begotten Son, that everyone who is believing in Him should not be perishing, but may be having life eonian."
17 For God does not dispatch His Son into the world that He should be judging the world, but that the world may be saved through Him."

george :-*.

 

judith collier:
George, I found your description of me right on the money. Here is probably the only place I let my hair down. Yes, I have to start praising God NOW. Overlaying my thoughts with the goodness of God, eliminating fear and then having hope and keeping faith which pleases God.
My son is talking to me again after I told him that he has to change too. I pray that he wouldn't see every piece of advice as putting him down. Michael has always been super sensitive, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.. But he doesn't realize that the gift of sensitivity is to be used towards others and not for our own coddling. Thanks, Judy

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