> Introductions, Announcements, and More of Ray's Teachings
Hi! been reading and have some answers to my questions, finally!
FreedomInTruth:
Hi all, I was "saved" when I was 17, I am now 47. I was in a very legalistic, dogmatic church that taught (like many of us were taught to believe) that most of God's creation would spend eternity in eternal torment. I backslid not long after being saved and was told that I "may have lost my salvation". I struggled with that for so many years. I just blindly accepted what I was taught for a long time. Then I began to question. Those questions I put in the back of my mind for years until the last few months.
I began to question how God could send most of creation to his "eternal torture chamber" and I have to admit, and this may sound horrible, I was so angry at God for being who He is. It was a few weeks ago that I just went and crashed in the bed (crying and so angry) and began telling God how unfair He was, how I didn't understand and that I was really, really mad at him for creating this mess and how He was "doing nothing about it". It seemed to me that he had created man and "left us stranded".
It was no coincidence that I was led to this forum and the articles that answered the questions I have. I'm still reading and trying to absorb it all. I have to read and re-read because it's just so much for me to take in at once. It's hard to let the ingrained beliefs go, they just pop up.
I was browsing another forum and someone had linked an article on this site. Once I started reading I couldn't stop. God is showing me the answers to all the questions I have.
I spent so many nights tossing and turning, not able to sleep because of "who that god was". Now that He has given me some answers (I'm still reading and learning) I can sleep for the first time in weeks.
I hope some of you can relate to the anger I had at "that god"?
Anyway, it's nice to be here and I hope to get to know all of you. I miss the fellowship of talking with those of like beliefs (although mine are changing by the minute, thank God). :)
arion:
Welcome to the forum and very glad to have you here!!
It was no coincidence that I was led to this forum and the articles that answered the questions I have.
Your right...it's no accident at all. All in God's good timing. We are just like the old testament children of Israel quite often. We come to faith (as we understood it at that time) and then we wander in the wilderness for our 40 years and then we see the promised land. You would think that other Christians would be excited to learn the truths that we have been come to know here, but they aren't. For most of my life I wouldn't even have entertained the idea that their was no literal hell because the Bible said that Jesus talked about it. But God has His ways to get our attention and when the blinders come off the light is bright indeed!! The scriptures are harmonious, they don't contradict and all dovetail together wonderfully. We have been given enough material on the website for a lifetime of study. Every time I go back to the various teachings new understanding is given. But just don't expect other 'believers' to be excited with what you have come to learn. They will resist the message until God gives them sight as well.
GinaMilan:
Welcome to the forum, FreedominTruth!
Your story sounds very much like my own, and thank you for sharing it.
Yes, I was very angry with God. I can so empathize with what you were feeling.
I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Why was I the only one who was not happy about people burning in hell? I would walk out of church so annoyed. How in the world could everybody there be so "happy"? I followed right along, though, in pretending it all made sense.
Recently, I realized one thing that the doctrine of eternal torment did to me was that it made me think to myself (subconsciously), "I am never going to make it (to heaven). I can't keep these commandments."
And since the thought of hell depressed me and made me anxious, I was constantly looking for ways to make myself feel better, "Because if I'm not going to make it to heaven, at least I can have some fun while I'm here on earth..." Consequently, the only thing I succeeded in doing was in becoming a total failure at pretty much everything. That's what the hell doctrine did for me. It did nothing to keep me on the "straight and narrow" (and I hated going to church) but rather horizontal -- in my bed many nights with the sheets pulled up far over my head wishing to God I was never born because I was sure I was going to fry!
Then a friend and I were talking and she got me thinking about the hell doctrine; and for two months (I don't remember how long it was really), I literally tossed and turned, but I was actually too frightened to even search anything out about it (that's how brainwashed I was!). One day I did a search for "Is tithing scriptural," and Ray's site was at the top of the list; I still can't get over how fortunate I was. I'll never forget it. I was at work and just like you, I was reading and reading and go into work tired, but so happy. I was telling people about it all, and they were not even happy! I was like, you have GOT to be kidding me! haha. It's taken me about 7-8 years, but it's finally starting to click "Many are called, FEW (as in "not many") are chosen. ;) I'm a slower learner.
It's so good to have you here.
Dave in Tenn:
Yes, I understand very well your anger at God. Mine led me to many years of total cynicism...so much so, that I'd have been happier not believing in God at all. I really just wanted Him to leave me the hell alone.
He, on the other hand, knew exactly what He was doing and why. I was very well 'greased' to believe the gospel when I heard it, even though just a few minutes before following a google ad to B-T for a few minutes of mockery, I was a complete amoral, immoral, cynical to the point of agnostic, and depressed shell of a man.
So...this guy welcomes you to the forum. I hope we have a long time of shared fellowship.
Ellie:
Glad you are joining us. Many can relate to how you feel. It is such a glorious thing when the answer to all those questions are given to us. Even then the layers and depths of God's word continues to inspire. Enjoy........Ellie......
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