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Author Topic: How did you tell your loved ones about your no longer going to church?  (Read 14625 times)

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santikos

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I kind of mentioned to my wife something about what i have learned here but she dies not want to hear it. we still attend the pentecostal church and last week we went to hand out flyers by knocking on doors. i really did not want to go but i did it any way. she does know i got something against the church system but i dont make my case strong enough.
        i want to so bad tell my wife that i no longer want to go to church but i know she will think that i no longer want to anything to do with God. i am just extremely confused about where God want to lead me.
        i enjoy the fellowship and speaking about God with other believers. it will just be very difficult not having people who i can fellowship with. but then again no one i go to church believes what i believe so i must maintain my tongue when speaking with them. sorry for venting with you bro's/sis' but i am just so confused regarding the whole thing. how hard was it for some of you? and do some of you still go to church? let me know. Thanks, God Bless.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2010, 05:45:26 PM by mharrell08 »
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mharrell08

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FYI: http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,11572.0.html

Hello Santikos,

I no longer go to church with my family and my wife knows somewhat why I do not. She does not like discussing the bible with me but respects what I believe by not pressuring me to get involved in her church.

It was harder at first, but the Lord gives strength to those who ask. It helps to focus more on living these truths that we've learned than getting upset because a loved one or friend doesn't believe. We would be doing that all our life if we let it. God is not calling everyone in this age.


Hope this helps,

Marques

P.S. I removed all the extra space in your comments above, just to leave more room on the page for member comments. Hope you don't mind.
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aqrinc

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Hello Santikos,

My tongue has been bruised so many times from my biting it; and equally many times i used to get into arguments with my wife about church/hagee teaching. Well she still thinks i am a heretic and cult member, although now she is starting to doubt quite a bit of the hell and damnation teaching of churchianity.

Last couple times i even recorded her favourite program for her; the point is, you need to heed all the words of Scripture, in Spirit and Truth, and not let the things of the flesh bother you too much.


1Co 10: 23-33 (GW)
23  Someone may say, "I'm allowed to do anything," but not everything is helpful. I'm allowed to do anything, but not everything encourages growth.

24  People should be concerned about others and not just about themselves.
25  Eat anything that is sold in the market without letting your conscience trouble you.

26  Certainly, "The earth is the Lord's and everything it contains is his."
27  If an unbeliever invites you to his house for dinner, and you wish to go, eat anything he serves you without letting your conscience trouble you.

28  However, if someone says to you, "This was sacrificed to a god," don't eat it because of the one who informed you and because of conscience.

29  I'm not talking about your conscience but the other person's conscience. Why should my freedom be judged by someone else's conscience?

30  If I give thanks to God for the food I eat, why am I condemned for that?
31  So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything to the glory of God.

32  Don't cause others to stumble, whether they are Jewish, Greek, or members of God's church.

33  I try to please everyone in every way. I don't think about what would be good for me but about what would be good for many people so that they might be saved.

george :).
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Roy Coates

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Pray pray pray, here is a little disscussion on what happened to me.
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,10351.0.html
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Duane

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DON'T FEEL ALONE!  We all go thru it on an everyday basis with  whoever we talk to that is "grounded in their church beliefs".
Sometimes it feels like a curse, as we remember what peace of mind we had when we all believed the same thing.  Now you are the
"Jewish" kid that accepted Christ at college and has to tell his family, friends, relatives that he is a member of "Jews for Jesus"!

PROBLEM:  once you are exposed to the TRUTH, and you truly believe it and accept it-- "you can't 'un-ring' the bell"!

(Like ok, you won, I guess I will go back and believe what I used to ?!  Now, does anyone believe me?  Do I get my old status of
acceptence back? PLEASE??)

How do I know?  I am going thru the same thing you are ==RIGHT NOW!    Duane
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santikos

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I am just glad I am the only one. I just need to contonue reading his word. One question I do have is on how to study the word? I have only always read it bit nevr disected it. How do some of u do it?
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Kat

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Hi Santikos,

The narrow path is not the easy way that's for sure, but don't forget very few are given the opportunity to go this way. First study and get yourself well grounded in these truths, just start the top article of the BT home page http://bible-truths.com and go all the way through. As you continue to read the articles you will grow in knowledge and understanding. The better your understanding is the more able you are to explain these things to somebody else.

I think with people that have no interest in hearing what you believe, you can show them by being a living example. There is always lots of situations that come up in daily life to let your light shine. But you will also reflect the way you believe in your normal conversation. This truth will permeate every aspect of your life and that is how it is suppose to be and your wife will have to notice this. So just live your life applying these truths that you are learning and as your wife sees the changes in you she may begin to ask a few questions. Then you would have somebody who is interested in what you have to say.

mercy, peace and love
Kat
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Roy Coates

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I read, talk with others, listen to audio, spend quiet time(just me and God), watch video and read some more. Most of all I be that the Father continue to drag me toward Jesus (John 6:44)
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Roy Coates

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Here is another thread Sankitos of more discussion on my story journey, enjoy
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,10222.0.html
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noeleena

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Hi.
  Never been a problem as we used to move all around the south isl ,  kiwi land , because of work ./ & just moving . we have friends every were.
   I knew 40 odd years ago that many of the teachings from the bible were not right . i looked at what they were teaching & knew that after a few trys it was better to keep my mouth shut . because i knew they would not listen did they , no . so i took time away from having much to do with those  groups.
    now that does not say iv not   keeped away all to gether i still see some & meet them just not in thier meetings & the group Jos was with has basicly been  disbanded & in many ways that is good .
 & even if we can get to show those in the groups the truth they dont wont it . 
  on the many forums im on there is a good oppotunity to share the truth so ill work on that nice & slowly .

...noeleena...
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phillip78

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I quit going about a year ago. I just could no longer sit there and listen to the things they were preaching. When the Lord led me to BT web site, I wasn't even half way down the first series of the Lake of fire series when I realized that everything I had been taught was a lie. Literally every single doctrine that I believed in ALL changed in just a couple days. But I believe God was laying the ground work before he even sent me to BT web site. I had for years been questioning certain things that just didn't set right with me. These questions I didn't dare ask anyone cause I really felt like I wouldn't get an honest answer without them (pastor) telling me there is no such thing as eternal torment. But for a long time I ignored these questions that played in my mind. Then I was directed to BT web site (out of the blue) by a friend. Then that's when everything I pondered was true. There is no hell. But when I had to explain all this to my wife, she thought I lost my mind. My sister even told my wife I had a demon when they discussed it. But NOW, after about 14 months of CONSTANT seeking, and explaining to my wife, she is FINALLY getting it, and understands why I refuse to go back to church. Though my wife isn't word savvy, she at least knows that hell as traditionally taught is a lie, free will, immortality is a lie, and many more. My advice is to get DEEP into studying and then when your fully prepared, sit down with her and explain all that you have gotten a revelation of. If it is God's will to open some truths to her then God will be the only one who can do that. Just plant the seed.
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Roy Coates

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"immortality is a lie"
Phillip I hope this is not a lie. Maybe just a typo. Paul taught us that, without the hope of the resurrection when mortality will put on immortality, we have nothing.
Good to hear you and your wife are seeing the Light, the Truth and the Way.
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aqrinc

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"immortality is a lie"
Phillip I hope this is not a lie. Maybe just a typo. Paul taught us that, without the hope of the resurrection when mortality will put on immortality, we have nothing.
Good to hear you and your wife are seeing the Light, the Truth and the Way.

Ditto.

george. ???.

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Dave in Tenn

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I'm sure Phillip meant the church doctrine of the "immortal soul", which stands in direct conflict with the truth of resurrection. 

Phillip, I'm not married, but I identify very much with what you've shared about yourself and coming to truth. 
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Heb 10:32  But you must continue to remember those earlier days, how after you were enlightened you endured a hard and painful struggle.

phillip78

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Yes. The doctrine of man having a immortal soul. Ecc 9:5 The dead know not anything.
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Nan

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My mother asked me about the confusing church doctrine of if you die and go to heaven or hell immediatly than what is Judgement day all about? I told her there was no hell and the dead are dead until the resurrection. She verbally attacked me(kind of like some of the nasty emails Ray gets.) and has been quoting Bible verses to me ever since. My daughter had her seven year old son 'preach' hell to me. I could only think about Jesus saying not to lead a little one astray or it would be better to hang a millstone around your neck (paraphrase Mt 18:6) When I go to their programs at church, it is uncomfortable. She said they were begging for help for their Vacation Bible School, and I felt a little guilty. I found out what Jesus meant when he said a man's enemies will be those of his own household after he said he came to set a daughter agaist her mother(etc.).(Mt. 10:34-36)  My husband got himself an internet ministers certificate!
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Dave in Tenn

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God bless you, Nan. 
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Heb 10:32  But you must continue to remember those earlier days, how after you were enlightened you endured a hard and painful struggle.

dogcombat

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Santikos,

I'll take the points (namely Kat's) expressed a step further.  Which is more expedient, 

WITNESSING to people about Jesus? Or people WITNESSING Jesus about you?

The former is what a lot of churches emphasize you do in order to "be an on fire christian".
The latter is living in the reality of God's love.  When you're living in God's love, people can't help but notice. 1 Peter 3 comes to mind:

 13 And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good?

 14 But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;

 15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:

 16 Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.



Another question to ponder:  "Did you FIND Jesus? Or did God REVEAL Him to you?"
The christian teaching is the former, the TRUTH is the latter as told in John 6.

44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.

 45 It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of God. Every man therefore that hath heard, and hath learned of the Father, cometh unto me.

 46 Not that any man hath seen the Father, save he which is of God, he hath seen the Father.

 47 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.

 48 I am that bread of life.

 49 Your fathers did eat manna in the wilderness, and are dead.

 50 This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man may eat thereof, and not die.

 51 I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.

 52 The Jews therefore strove among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat?

 53 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.

 54 Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day.

 55 For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed.

 56 He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him.

 57 As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father: so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me.

 58 This is that bread which came down from heaven: not as your fathers did eat manna, and are dead: he that eateth of this bread shall live for ever.

 59 These things said he in the synagogue, as he taught in Capernaum.

 60 Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is an hard saying; who can hear it?

 61 When Jesus knew in himself that his disciples murmured at it, he said unto them, Doth this offend you?

 62 What and if ye shall see the Son of man ascend up where he was before?

 63 It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.

 64 But there are some of you that believe not. For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him.

 65 And he said, Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father.

 66 From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him.


Know this dear friend.  God has EVERYTHING under control.  As you let go of trying to convince others of God's truths, the better off you'll thrive in them.  Only HE can open eyes and ears as He has with you.
As Ray has pointed out that "the blind cannot see".  Until God brings them to see they will stay blind.

May His truth further enlighten you,
Ches
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Cypress

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The thing is, I can't really blame my family or friends for pushing their churches on me because I would have done the same thing. That's what you're taught to fo. Help your brothers and sisters...don't want them to fall, etc. They get worried. When my mom started reading from this site 7 years or so ago, it rocked my faith. I couldn't understand how my mother who had always been this pillar of faith had strayed into these other teachings...I really didn't know what to think.  It's taken me this long to finally grasp what she was understanding. I don't have a spouse so I suppose it's easier for me to deal with the church questions. I usually just tell people there's no meat to the messages and I would rather find good study materials online.   

I don't know how it is elsewhere, but what is big here are the small groups (home bible studies where you really don't study anything but try to make friends and read Christian self help books). If anything, I get nagged more about not being in a small group than attending church regularly. I tried to go with the flow about 2 years ago and joined some but in the end I couldn't take it and left.

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Elaine

Bill

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Hi Santikos,

The narrow path is not the easy way that's for sure, but don't forget very few are given the opportunity to go this way. First study and get yourself well grounded in these truths, just start the top article of the BT home page http://bible-truths.com and go all the way through. As you continue to read the articles you will grow in knowledge and understanding. The better your understanding is the more able you are to explain these things to somebody else.

I think with people that have no interest in hearing what you believe, you can show them by being a living example. There is always lots of situations that come up in daily life to let your light shine. But you will also reflect the way you believe in your normal conversation. This truth will permeate every aspect of your life and that is how it is suppose to be and your wife will have to notice this. So just live your life applying these truths that you are learning and as your wife sees the changes in you she may begin to ask a few questions. Then you would have somebody who is interested in what you have to say.

mercy, peace and love
Kat


Hi Kat,

You mentioned "There is always lots of situations that come up in daily life to let your light shine."  Comments like this has always confused me as letting you light shine as you say is seen by some differently.  There are people through out history that those in the church system look to that live a life letting the light shine.  Some may say the Pope, Mother Theressa or even Gandhi lived a life of letting there light shine but what has there lives proved?

Those that have family that do see truth of God are not moved by the same things.   Having a wife that does not believe the same way can put a strain on the relationship but when there are kids involved things get a little more complex.  What responsibility do we have to our children?  Like Roy his wife enrolled there daughter in catechism, is the loving thing to just sit back and be quite?

While my wive is not impressed with any church as she still believes in many of there doctrines.

While from time to time we do discuss scripture almost always ending the same way with each saying we must agree to disagree.  But we do have children involved and  I am not so sure the loving thing to do is sit back and allow them to be lied to.

Thank you

Bill
 

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