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Author Topic: Daughter wants to go to church  (Read 2638 times)

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G. Driggs

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Daughter wants to go to church
« on: July 14, 2010, 11:17:42 AM »

My 12 year old daughter has begun going to the local Baptist Church recently, not for services but to "play games". She goes there because her new friends go there and I guess they really enjoy it. I think it is a matter of time before the Pastor begins preaching to her, so I told her not to just believe anything anyone tells you, but study for yourself and look up words in the dictionary to see if they are true. She knows how I feel about the doctrine of hell, and that the church has it all wrong, so she was a little hesitant in telling me what she was up to. I thought about forbidding her to go, but then I remembered this is how I first met Jesus, and how will she be able to leave her "first love" and be called to "come out of her" if she was never in Babylon to begin with?

Whats interesting is I had been praying for her to get some relief from some girls that had been bullying her, and that she would also get some new friends because she was feeling pretty bummed out and complaining she had no friends. Now the girls who were bullying her have become her friends and she gained a new friend whom she is very close to and she happens to go to that church. So God in His infinite wisdom has put my daughter in a place I am very uncomfortable with, so what can I do? Am I making a mistake by allowing her to go there? Or am I right in thinking that maybe this would be best in the long run so that she will be in a position to be called out her? Or is it enough that IF God is saving me, He will also save my entire household? I understand no one here can tell me what to do, so if anyone has Scripture for me to consider that would be cool.

As to the original posters question about telling loved ones I no longer go to church, I tell them I do not believe in hell and all their other false doctrines, and that I will never be deceived by them again.

G.Driggs
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G. Driggs

  • Guest
Re: Daughter wants to go to church
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2010, 01:51:09 PM »

Quote from: G.Driggs
As to the original posters question about telling loved ones I no longer go to church, I tell them I do not believe in hell and all their other false doctrines, and that I will never be deceived by them again.

If this does not make sense that is because I posted this question in someone else' thread, and it got moved. Sorry my bad, did not mean to hijack that thread. ???

G.Driggs
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phillip78

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Re: Daughter wants to go to church
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2010, 01:58:28 PM »

Have you sat down with her and studied the false doctrines of what they teach? If not, it would be a good idea to start. If you don't they they will start filling her mind with the traditional teachings. Who else better to have a study on these thing? Children can learn truth also.
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markn902

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Re: Daughter wants to go to church
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2010, 02:24:24 PM »

Boy I could think of a lot worse places/things for a 12 year old to be doing. ( I know I was when I was that age) I would say alot of people would like to trade problems with you!
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indianabob

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Re: Daughter wants to go to church
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2010, 03:59:14 PM »

Good morning G. Driggs,

If I read your personal correctly you live on the North side of Alaska in a small town with only one school. If so that means your daughter knows and is known by almost everyone.

There are many things we could discuss concerning how to be an example for a young lady, but the most important I would think at this age is communication.
It is difficult for most young ladies to discuss feelings with a parent especially a male parent. So anything you can do to support her personal adventure of growing up will be to her advantage.

She is going to discuss any subject her curiosity leads her to with her friends and acquaintances whether she is in church or not, so your best course of action is to maintain a sincere interest in her everyday experiences WITH little critique of her friends or what they believe or do. Rather than using your adult knowledge to find fault in her friends and caution her, take the opposite path by offering as many good ideas as you can find even to including her friends in your family gatherings.
I don't think that you need to attend the local church in order to have her respect in regards to your beliefs. Just keep in mind that what you tell her in your personal discussions may not take root in her for a few months or years. What you need to focus upon is that she will always remember that you told her the truth to the best of your ability at the time.

I really like the idea that God calls all of His special servants OUT of Babylon.
It is therefore important it seems to me to allow our children to have some gradual experience of evil in others and to be always available to guide them through the difficulties rather than to always protect them from all problems. That is from knowing about problems. Of course a parent must protect the child, but many activities that we know are hurtful do not seem so to the young mind.

My wife and I reared four children and we all and they all still get along as we move along our separate paths. Mom and Dad made quite a few mistakes and we have worked to try to make up for those, but we still find that the children believe that we love them without reservation no matter what mistakes we or they have made in the past. Part of this may be that we learned to respect one another as unique persons and as children of the Creator God.

There are many things that you can use to teach truth about God without debate or criticism of other persons and I recommend that you focus on those. Try to write a good long list of all the helpful things that people do when they love someone and share those with your daughter so that she learns to judge righteously and to develop a gracious character and personality similar to what you are becoming as God leads your daily life.

Hope this helps a little and please critique my comments as needed.

Indiana Bob




Quote from: G.Driggs
As to the original posters question about telling loved ones I no longer go to church, I tell them I do not believe in hell and all their other false doctrines, and that I will never be deceived by them again.

If this does not make sense that is because I posted this question in someone else' thread, and it got moved. Sorry my bad, did not mean to hijack that thread. ???

G.Driggs
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mharrell08

  • Guest
Re: Daughter wants to go to church
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2010, 06:03:08 PM »

So God in His infinite wisdom has put my daughter in a place I am very uncomfortable with, so what can I do? Am I making a mistake by allowing her to go there? Or am I right in thinking that maybe this would be best in the long run so that she will be in a position to be called out her? Or is it enough that IF God is saving me, He will also save my entire household? I understand no one here can tell me what to do, so if anyone has Scripture for me to consider that would be cool.


G. Driggs,

I'm going to approach this a little different. What is the difference in the attitude displayed above and all the many 'witnessing' Christians in the church? Isn't this the same logic the church uses to support witnessing from home to home? That one must be convinced 'by them' of the truth? Do you see what I'm getting at?

We trust that God will reconcile all the many adults we know/see in the world, but can lose sight of this with our own children. I have 2 daughters myself, and I am just as bad. Ultimately, we have to trust that God will lead them, in His time for them, not our own.

With my daughters, I am not concerned with teaching them doctrine. The Lord has me focused on teaching them the building blocks of what the true gospel is. In other words, more importance is placed on obeying the gospel instead of just having the knowledge of what it is.

As Christ said, to love the Lord will all one's heart, mind, & soul as well as love thy neighbor (and enemy) as thyself is the fulfillment of the law [Matt 22:37-40]. Staying humble, giving to others without regard for self, trust the Lord to lead you to the best path for you (even when the path seems uncomfortable/unsettling), repenting of your character flaws & mistakes instead of making excuses for them, honoring mother & father, etc. With these in her heart, she will grow to produce much spiritual fruit including an understanding of the gospel, I believe.


Hope this helps,

Marques

 
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daywalker

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Re: Daughter wants to go to church
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2010, 09:37:39 PM »


I'm not yet a daddy, so I'll give you some feedback from the perspective of a teenager, since I have much experiment in that category  :D

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
- Proverbs 22:6


Teach her the truth in accord with the Scriptures, but don't "push" them on her. Ask if she's willing to do a bible study with you, whether its daily, weekly or just whenever. Be sure to explain thoroughly why you believe what you do, and not just "well the bible says this so therefore it's true..." Build a strong spiritual foundation for her to stand on, and then let her make up her own mind where she wants to go; and know that God is in control of the situation at all times.

Hope this helps a bit.

Daywalker  8)


My 12 year old daughter has begun going to the local Baptist Church recently, not for services but to "play games". She goes there because her new friends go there and I guess they really enjoy it. I think it is a matter of time before the Pastor begins preaching to her, so I told her not to just believe anything anyone tells you, but study for yourself and look up words in the dictionary to see if they are true. She knows how I feel about the doctrine of hell, and that the church has it all wrong, so she was a little hesitant in telling me what she was up to. I thought about forbidding her to go, but then I remembered this is how I first met Jesus, and how will she be able to leave her "first love" and be called to "come out of her" if she was never in Babylon to begin with?

Whats interesting is I had been praying for her to get some relief from some girls that had been bullying her, and that she would also get some new friends because she was feeling pretty bummed out and complaining she had no friends. Now the girls who were bullying her have become her friends and she gained a new friend whom she is very close to and she happens to go to that church. So God in His infinite wisdom has put my daughter in a place I am very uncomfortable with, so what can I do? Am I making a mistake by allowing her to go there? Or am I right in thinking that maybe this would be best in the long run so that she will be in a position to be called out her? Or is it enough that IF God is saving me, He will also save my entire household? I understand no one here can tell me what to do, so if anyone has Scripture for me to consider that would be cool.

As to the original posters question about telling loved ones I no longer go to church, I tell them I do not believe in hell and all their other false doctrines, and that I will never be deceived by them again.

G.Driggs
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Samson

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Re: Daughter wants to go to church
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2010, 10:33:07 PM »


I'm not yet a daddy, so I'll give you some feedback from the perspective of a teenager, since I have much experiment in that category  :D

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
- Proverbs 22:6


Teach her the truth in accord with the Scriptures, but don't "push" them on her. Ask if she's willing to do a bible study with you, whether its daily, weekly or just whenever. Be sure to explain thoroughly why you believe what you do, and not just "well the bible says this so therefore it's true..." Build a strong spiritual foundation for her to stand on, and then let her make up her own mind where she wants to go; and know that God is in control of the situation at all times.

Hope this helps a bit.

Daywalker  8)


My 12 year old daughter has begun going to the local Baptist Church recently, not for services but to "play games". She goes there because her new friends go there and I guess they really enjoy it. I think it is a matter of time before the Pastor begins preaching to her, so I told her not to just believe anything anyone tells you, but study for yourself and look up words in the dictionary to see if they are true. She knows how I feel about the doctrine of hell, and that the church has it all wrong, so she was a little hesitant in telling me what she was up to. I thought about forbidding her to go, but then I remembered this is how I first met Jesus, and how will she be able to leave her "first love" and be called to "come out of her" if she was never in Babylon to begin with?

Whats interesting is I had been praying for her to get some relief from some girls that had been bullying her, and that she would also get some new friends because she was feeling pretty bummed out and complaining she had no friends. Now the girls who were bullying her have become her friends and she gained a new friend whom she is very close to and she happens to go to that church. So God in His infinite wisdom has put my daughter in a place I am very uncomfortable with, so what can I do? Am I making a mistake by allowing her to go there? Or am I right in thinking that maybe this would be best in the long run so that she will be in a position to be called out her? Or is it enough that IF God is saving me, He will also save my entire household? I understand no one here can tell me what to do, so if anyone has Scripture for me to consider that would be cool.

As to the original posters question about telling loved ones I no longer go to church, I tell them I do not believe in hell and all their other false doctrines, and that I will never be deceived by them again.

G.Driggs

Excellent Response Christopher, actually some very good responses thus far, nothing to add, enough said, ;).

                                   Carry On, Samson.
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G. Driggs

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Re: Daughter wants to go to church
« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2010, 03:18:44 AM »

Thank you all for taking the time to comment, lots of food for thought.

Quote from: phillip78
Have you sat down with her and studied the false doctrines of what they teach? If not, it would be a good idea to start. If you don't they they will start filling her mind with the traditional teachings. Who else better to have a study on these thing? Children can learn truth also.

No we have never studied together about the false doctrines, but I have told her in the past what I believe concerning hell. Sometimes I will read bible stories to my kids just like my grandma use to do for me, but I have never sat down with them with the intent to teach them what I have learned.

Quote from: mharrell08
I'm going to approach this a little different. What is the difference in the attitude displayed above and all the many 'witnessing' Christians in the church? Isn't this the same logic the church uses to support witnessing from home to home? That one must be convinced 'by them' of the truth? Do you see what I'm getting at?

I think I see what your getting at Marques, and I totally understand that only God can convince her of anything. Maybe I was just worried for nothing.

I totally agree the only way to teach them is by example, as this is the very thing I have been praying to God about lately, to enable me to walk the talk.

Thanks again everyone, I appreciate it.

Peace

G.Driggs
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judith collier

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Re: Daughter wants to go to church
« Reply #9 on: July 15, 2010, 05:57:43 AM »

Amen to everybody who posted! Nobody forcing the child, then  listening to the child, respecting the child, that's what I always looked for in adults. That's love, the God kind! judy
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jingle52

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Re: Daughter wants to go to church
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2010, 07:49:58 AM »

what wonderful insightful responses from all! Amen and God's Blessings
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Bamabee

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Re: Daughter wants to go to church
« Reply #11 on: July 16, 2010, 02:48:18 PM »

I thought the process was that first a person is called into the church and then called out of it.  So, would this be a logical step in the process of learning truth? 
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Deborah-Leigh

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Re: Daughter wants to go to church
« Reply #12 on: July 17, 2010, 12:05:35 PM »


Hi G. Driggs

You have received some wonderful council, edifications and encouragements from your spiritual brothers and sisters here.

I too am a Mother and feel your love, concern and insight towards your own daughter as I do towards my own son who is 13 years old.  I can share with you the aching knowledge of knowing that our children need first to leave their “ First Love “ before they are dragged by God  to Christ out of and away from the easy on the ears and flesh seductions of Mystery Babylon that is not a mystery, in many ways, to us anymore.

 The liberty in the knowledge we have, that has set us free of bondage, captivity and slavery to Babylon’s many seductive practices and false beliefs, shows for me how our children are blessed already above and beyond others who’s parents are not yet delivered of the blindness of false doctrines in Christendom.  As  Parents, and yet to be Parents (Daywalker) :D  we are blessed to have the Mercy of God lavished on us through the true knowledge we have of The Truth. We are free parents not slaves to deceptions.  Our children are children of parents of the liberty in Christ.  What a blessing our children have to have parents set free of errors followed by Christendom.

We know that the process of God is still the painful  chastising  unavoidable part of how God perfects us of our flaws, self reliance and spiritual blindness. God does not change. Our physical children have us parents who are the Spiritual children of the free heavenly Kingdom not the bound mother in slavery Babylon. We are the unbound unfettered parents of children that shall visit the slavery of Babylon but keep the identity as being your child and YOU are a Parent of The Kingdom. Nothing will erase your child being your child.  That is a wonder and great privilege to us as parents and flows out as a great blessing upon our children.

Our children may be appointed to try what bondage feels like but they will always have you as their example of liberty in Christ. We are the primary examples to our children not Babylon or any Harlot that assumes falsely the rights God has given to us. Babylon practices  seduction to lure  virtue into deceit turning sweet into bitter and bitter into sweet.  We do well to warn and edify our children as we do to caution them against taking drugs or any other narcotic that fellowships with death and destruction. Yet we do not teach our children about drugs in a fashion that is of terror, over the top fear, dread and anxiety that would lend itself to giving the child the impression that such a dire fate is unavoidable and is going to happen because Mom looks so terrified, anxious and hysterical.  The extreme is almost funny to contemplate because no one does that in their right balanced soundness of mind so we need not either, regarding the dangers of seductive Babylon. 

We know Babylon teaches nonsense but not taking their drugs causes us to be their outcasts, their persecution targets of rejection and the not good enough bastions of their contempt. Just like a druggie who cannot get you to fellowship with them, gets hostile aggressive and darn right nasty so too is Babylon. That might be something to explain in your own words to your daughter some day, some way as you are led. We are hated, spurned, rejected, abandoned and cast out, as Christ was too. We are feared made to look like a curse to them who practice the arts and persuasions of deceit and defiled blindness that is their lot to experience in accord to what God has planned for them. Their fate is not going to end in Hell they believe and preach but ours will, according to them, so we are anathema to them in their blindness and fear driven practises.  This is Mother to Mother talk that for children can be spoon fed in small doses that expresses our wisdom and understanding rather than fear and dread. Perfect Love casts out fear.1Jn 4:18  There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

You know enough about how God works through the study we have here at BT. First the natural THEN the Spiritual. We all have to go through being carnal first before God makes us Spiritual through the fire of His Judgments on the House of God now. This is a beautiful work that only a Perfect Wise and Powerful God of Love can do.

Job prayed for his children and offered sacrifice to God for their sins. The OT Jews did the same thing for themselves in their yearly sacrifice for sin. WE the NT children of the Kingdom of God, who have the better promise,  seek first the Kingdom of God, to keep the unity of our bond to the Spirit of God and dwell inwardly in His Peace of knowing that Jesus shares His tried proven and true Faith, with us. 

Our edification is disclosed and unveiled to reveal the insight and knowledge we have received that God IS doing His work in us according to the council of His Will that shall not fail in His Promise to us or to our children who occupy our hearts. God will perfect us and God will cause us to be on that path that shall lead us to cleansing off of our carnality, purging out of our blindness and leading us to salvation. We believe this is going to be accomplished for all of us as we know that Jesus died for the world that includes our children, grandchildren, and everyone. This is not to say to you that you should become complacent or lax in your alertness to your accountability for your daughter. On the contrary. You have the Spirit of God in you to discern, edify encourage and as a Mother so go ahead, delight in your daughter for God says, Psa 127:3  Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

Blessings to you

Arc
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G. Driggs

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Re: Daughter wants to go to church
« Reply #13 on: July 18, 2010, 12:50:36 AM »

Thank you Arc, this helps. :)

I was reading to my son yesterday and came across these verses I have never noticed before, speaking of Jesus when He was a child.

Mat 2:14  When he arose, he took the young child and his mother by night, and departed into Egypt:
Mat 2:15  And was there until the death of Herod: that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, Out of Egypt have I called my son. (Hos 11:1 )

Anyway, just thought that was kind of interesting.

Peace

G.Driggs
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