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[Aatos]

After finding this site last fall I now decided to join.   Anyway some things to know about my journey.  First, I'm female (for some reason most everyone who meets me online thinks I'm a guy.)  I'm a college graduate, a caretaker, and artist.  I'm also seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist who can't agree on whether I have social anxiety disorder, or schizoid personality disorder. 

As for my religious/spiritual journey it started at 10 or 12 when I accepted Christ as my savior (not knowing better)  Anyway I fell away, because at the age of 16-17 I started having homosexual tendencies.  So, I left, decided to go pagan, because by golly if I was going to go to Hell I was going to do it thoroughly!  Well, that didn't work out, so I wanted to come back to God.

Only one problem,  I still had those tendencies, so I couldn't go back to the way things were, and was searching for a path.  I came across a Gnosticism and begin studying that.

Here's where I divert for a moment to say that according to the MBPTest I am an INTP.  Simply put, we notice when something is off, and we question it.  This is how it was while studying Gnosticism.  Somethings made sense, but most of it did not.  Still,  I found myself drawn to it.

Flash forward and I'm at a forum for a TV show,  someone has a link to an article site.  So, I go there, and look at the religious articles, because I'm in the process of making a graphic novel, and wanted to research.  Lo and behold eventually I came across the concept of universal salvation.   At first I was skeptical,  but then I realized that even then I didn't like the idea of anyone in hell.   At the that time I believed that God manifested Himself as all the other gods.  (Yes really.)  As I studied I realized this was wrong,  but it didn't matter because God and His Son would save everyone, eventually.   

With that, the following has happened.

1.) I am no longer homosexual.  (more heteroromantic than anything.)
2.) I enjoy studying God's word now.
3.) I have stopped going to church as much.  (Used to be twice a week,  now it's like once every three months.)
4.) Realized that the Protestant churches are actually whore daughters of the Roman Catholic church  (something I believed before actually.)
5.) Realized that most of those NDE Hell experiences are a load of bull.

So, that's my testimony. 

[walt123]

Welcome Aatos

If I may add to John words,Gods spirit will keep as moving forward in the right direction,and
our past and present short coming  will be just  a refection to keep us humble, lest we think
we are better than those that do not see Gods truth yet.

Walt.

[Phil3:10]

Welcome Aatos,
You have a very interesting testimony.  GOD is at work in your life and I pray that you will continue in the teachings of Ray Smith. I do believe you are right that GOD and JESUS will save all eventually. However, HIS desire is for us to know HIM more each day and to grow in HIS nurture and admonition. The 5 things that have happened to you are blessings from our GOD.
Keep on studying HIS Word and spend as much time as you can in the teachings of Ray Smith and your life will become a blessing to you and to many others. We all are sinners but HE is our only hope.
In HIM,
Phil3:10

[aqrinc]

3.) I have stopped going to church as much.  (Used to be twice a week,  now it's like once every three months.)

NICE, .

Hello Aatos,

Welcome to the forum, glad to meet you, settle in for some fun.

george .

[judith collier]

Hi AATOS!!! I am happy you trust enough here to reveal who you are. We grow, some faster than others but all grow in Christ. judy

[arion]

Hi Aatos;

A warm welcome to our fellowship here.  Isn't it interesting how God leads us out from under the falsehoods that we have labored under?  It is truly so simple and begins to congeal so wonderfully once God begins to remove the blinders from our eyes.  It is truly a revelation to know that we are in His hands and He will bring us where we need to be in His timing and not ours.

[Aatos]

Thank you to everyone so far who's left a reply to this.

@ Arion - This is true.  I still can't believe how God's truth is so much more simple than man's truth.  For years I struggled with certain tenants of the Christian faith (like the trinity for example.  Ever notice that to Christians this is more important than salvation?)  and now there's still some struggling in other areas, but it's not as bad as it once was.

@ Judy - Thank you for the welcome!

@ aqr - LOL, thank you, and I will.

@ Phil3:10 - Indeed He is our only hope, and thanks to Him, He will be the hope for everyone in the entire world, past-present-future.

@ Wait 123 - I never thought about this before, but it's very likely you're right about it.   Funny thing is, once someone grasps the concept they have to look at themselves, and say, "You know something?  I'm not a special snow flake.  I'm no better than the non-believers, because God will save them too."

@ John - Thank you

[Kat]

Hi Aatos,

I'm glad you have joined us 
We all have our journey to the truth. It is interesting to hear the experiences of different people before they come to the truth and then the change that takes place after. I hope you will enjoy this fellowship of like minded people. Here are a few links to help you find the things we have available here.

The forum rules will help you see how this forum is moderated.
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,3.0.html
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,4558.0.html
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,3614.0.html

Forum Indexes & lots of Info.
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,14.0.html

FAQ (most frequently asked questions)
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,23.0.html

Ray's Videos
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,8227.0.html

Ray's Audios
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,2641.0.html

Ray's 2008 Audios
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,8256.0.html

Transcripts of Ray's Audios
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,12.0.html

Who Am I? (members pics and personal stuff)
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/board,16.0.html

mercy, peace and love
Kat

[Dave in Tenn]

Welcome, Aatos.  It's good to have you.  Though we don't all have the same 'pasts', we all share the same glorious future.  And it's not at all out of character for our God to make the destination as interesting and creative as He has made the journey so far.

[Joel]

Welcome Aatos,
God is the best artist ever, I marvel at His handiwork.
I was a printing pressman for many years, so that sort of filled a creative space that I had in my life. I also do some artwork myself, and my daughter is an art teacher, at a local middle school.
I accept art as a blessing from God, and have found much peace, and satisfaction while working on art projects.
You have done a lot of searching, I am sure you will find a lot of answers to many of your questions here.
Joel

[Aatos]

Hi there Joel, it's nice to see someone else with an artistic bent.  I also agree that God is the greatest artist ever.   Out of curiosity, what sort of art do you do?

[roundbellygroove]

Hi Aaotos!   

It's good to see someone else on that's from New Mexico. What part of NM are you from? I'm originally from Hobbs(yes,the arm pit of NM), but now living in central Texas. With your artistic talents... My guess is your in or near Sante Fe, Albuquerque or Toas. That seems to be the "art" districts of NM.  Anywho... I'm just pleasantly surprised that your from my home state. I usually don't say much here, just read a lot from time to time.

Well welcome to the BT forums.

Noel

[Patrick]

Welcome, Aatos!

I'm originally from Hobbs(yes,the arm pit of NM)

More of an armpit than Jal, NM? 
My Mom lives in Jal.

[Samson]

Welcome Aatos,

                       Enjoyed your introduction, many of us come from diverse backrounds coupled with interesting life stories prior to being led here. Apparently Our lives haven't been dull and boring. I certainly appreciate the momentary quiet uneventful times occasionally experienced. It's good to get a rest from all the drama and those that provide it. Glad you decided to join us, we consist of a group of very loving and caring truth seeking people. God has seen fit to draw us here and eventually will draw all Mankind to Himself.

                               Kind Regards, Samson.

[Aatos]

@ Samson - This is very true.   Right now I pray that God delivers me from the drama for a short season, but I know it's entirely up to Him.

@ Patrick - Thank you!

@ roundbellygroove - The four corners area, actually.  =D

[margo]

Hi Aatos,

I love New Mexico.  I live in Albuquerque and also born here.  It is good to hear from you.  BT is wonderful and so is everyone here.
God Bless and welcome.
Margo

[Joel]

Hi Aatos,
I am interested to know what kind of art you like?
I do some oil, and acrylic on canvas, some oil pastels, and water colors, but what I really enjoy the most, and is very relaxing to me, is the basic drawing with pencils and paper.
As a kid growing up, in a family of eight brothers and sisters raised by my mother, we were very poor. So I made do with the materials we could afford, I probably had ADHD, but never heard of such a thing back in the fifties and sixties when I was in school.
I was very shy and backwards, and could have had the social anxieties you mentioned also, but God has done much for me, of which I am very thankful.
I wish you the best in the Lord.
Joel

[Aatos]

Hi Joel,

Material wise I'm doing digital, because of the tablet I have, but traditionally my mood changes.  Right now I'm in the pen, and ink phase.  I'm decent with pencils, pens, charcoals, acrylics, pastels, and watercolors.  In fact the one medium I have never liked much is oil painting.  For me it takes too long.   Now subject wise I tend to draw people,  but I'm currently working on a graphic novel.  (and by that I mean, I have most of the story written, now I'm drawing out some of the characters, trying to find a style that is both my own, but quick to do.)

Sounds like we have a lot in common.  I think art became one of my go-tos during times of stress; that and my family was also poor, and drawing was relatively cheap.


Hi Margo,

Thank you for the welcome!  I like it here too, but I hope someday to get out of this area. 

[Deborah-Leigh]

Hi Aatos

You and I have some experience in common. I too have been mistaken to be a man which has been very amusing at times. I am so glad I am a woman. I think women get away with much more than our men folks do and we need them to help and consider us! We are the weaker vessel!

Also regarding where you are in your circumstances re : seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist. I suffered for clinically diagnosed depression for ten years. Well I believe my condition was only detected much later and for ten years I received the wonderful weekly sessions of therapy. It was a really important experience though it was fraught with pain, challenge and fears. There was a purpose. God authored that Purpose and I am so very relieved to no longer be in any therapy or medication anymore.
 
I identified that my strict Catholic upbringing, set the seed of deep dark hopelessness into my heart and mind that later in my early 30s manifested in immobilizing dysfunctional depression that was so overwhelming that I could not physically move or desire to even breathe at times. I did not want to self destruct but was totally overcome by the fear that I would. God showed me some very deep pain troughs that our human minds and flesh can experience. I never want to ever go there again.

The Forum is a sunny place to be with warmth, truth, sensitivity and blessing that continues to lead us in our respective paths that God authors for us to experience.

Welcome to the Forum and in the notes of that “heavy metal” I hope you can hear the blessed silence in between.

Arc

[Joel]

Hi Aatos,
I agree with you about oils, I started out doing landscapes, and then tried people also.
I really like drawing people, that's where I get the most enjoyment.
My daughter has talked about writing a children's book, and illustrating it as well, but she is busy working to get her masters now.
Great talking to you, and hope you enjoy it here as much as I do.
We do seem to have some things in common.
Joel