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Author Topic: Let's Ask Longhorn  (Read 26531 times)

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Ninny

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #60 on: August 18, 2010, 10:34:54 PM »

Vangie...I forgot...I'm glad you caught that whole sonata thing!!! MM...You're SUCH a boy! hehehehe! sigh....

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longhorn

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #61 on: August 19, 2010, 02:12:20 AM »

Ok.  Tonight I lay me down to sleep with the following items safely secure in the fundus of my belly.... Fried sliced ham, steamed cabbage with a dash of louisana hot sause, mac n cheese, corn chips and garlic dip, a slice of tomato, and a cherry flavored licorice stick.  The good thing about being single is if and when I ever do poot again, I can turn on my side and blow the dang curtains off their rods and it don't matter.  I laugh at the gas gods and snicker at the doodie demons.  Good night all.

Longhorn
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Ninny

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #62 on: August 19, 2010, 02:59:17 AM »

My Dear, Sweet Longhorn...
YOU ARE GROSS!! But I think I'll keep you around awhile!! You two little 8th graders can not stay away from bodily function humor!! SO I have decided to give you something special.....
I am awarding you and the King of North Cuba the much coveted........
GROSSNESS IN SPITE OF INTELLIGENCE AWARD!! You are entitled to all the honor and privileges associated with the award! Hey, not everyone is actually GROSS enough to get the award..I don't hand out these awards lightly, you know!!! But you and Musicman deserve everything you get!! hehehehehehe!!  :o
Oh and you also get a big hug to keep you through the night!!   :D
Thank you for never letting me down!!  :-*
Kathy ;)
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judith collier

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #63 on: August 19, 2010, 09:35:51 PM »

Dear Samson, that Bill Murray scene! What's funny?? (chuckle)
Dear Samson's wife, now that was funny!
You know the man vs. women thing in marriage is being accepted more with the young uns'. All 3 of my married girls don't kvetch near as much as I used to. I say to them, "you put up with that?" Their replys are all the same, "mom, it's just a man thing".
It ends up being a matter of expectations.
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judith collier

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #64 on: August 19, 2010, 09:49:00 PM »

Musicman, "I couldn't sleep at allllllll last night" I know where I heard that before!
THE BIG BOPPER!!!!!
"nothing in the world like a big eyed girl makes the world go round round round!"
"with a pretty face and a pony tail hanging down "
Man,you are channeling the THE BIG Bopper!!!!!
Oh, most women hate hair on men so clip, shave and set it all on fire if you have to!!!!!!
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judith collier

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #65 on: August 19, 2010, 10:07:48 PM »

Ninny, about Musicman sleeping on his feet, maybe we could get him one of those extra legs from an elephant like janine mentioned. A tripod thingy or something like that. The only problem is where to put it!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh I amuse myself!!!!
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Ninny

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #66 on: August 20, 2010, 03:25:01 AM »

Judy! Now you cracked me up!! That is one thing I will NOT help you with MM you've got to figure out how to install that all by your yourself!!  ;D
Longhorn...I think Judy will soon need to seek your wisdom as to where to put that extra leg thingy...I'm definitely NOT getting involved with THAT!!  :o

I had so many more witty and clever things to say...BUT I rather enjoyed just thinking about that problem Judy brought up...so I think I'll just go to bed now!  ;D
Sweet dreams, Y'all!
Kathy ;)
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longhorn

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #67 on: August 20, 2010, 09:48:25 AM »

I got to thinking, God had a good reason for making some things stink. If everything smelled like fresh baked applie pie, or steaks cooking on the grill, heck we'd  constantly be running around shoving our dang noses in the weirdest places.  These are the reasons for my being..... I must have common answers to the uncommon questions.

Longhorn
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soberxp

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #68 on: August 20, 2010, 10:05:16 AM »

 ;D hi , Longhorn   I want to send an e-mail to george w. bush , do you know his e-mail,or something like this? ;D
« Last Edit: August 20, 2010, 10:07:25 AM by soberxp »
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longhorn

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #69 on: August 20, 2010, 10:36:13 AM »

You're in luck soberxp.  G W and Laura will be staying at the Longhorn ranch for the Christmas holidays.  Get you're questions lined up.

Longhorn
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soberxp

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #70 on: August 20, 2010, 11:19:14 AM »

You're in luck soberxp.  G W and Laura will be staying at the Longhorn ranch for the Christmas holidays.  Get you're questions lined up.

Longhorn

 :D LOL.your answer was not common ;)
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musicman

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #71 on: August 20, 2010, 07:39:43 PM »

You are wrong LH.  To contact George Dubya just e-mail him at gdubya@strategery.com.
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musicman

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #72 on: August 20, 2010, 07:45:34 PM »

;D hi , Longhorn   I want to send an e-mail to george w. bush , do you know his e-mail,or something like this? ;D

Which brings me to my next question:

Why, if dogs have such powerful sense of smell (sometimes 100x better than we humans) do they go around sniffing the hind parts of other dogs.  You'd think they would be the first to leave the room when you, Long Horn, have broken the night with one of your Silence of Destruction bombs.  Nature is weird that way.  But why Long Horn.
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longhorn

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #73 on: August 20, 2010, 09:02:50 PM »

Musicman, Let me commend you on being the 1st to actually ask an intelligent question.  Have you considered work in the media field?  I'm thinking White House.  I would pay to see press sec Robert Gibbs sweat bullets as steam rises underneath his collar as you drill him with the really pressing soul searching questions.  Ok.  You're correct in your think process.  I don't understand how dogs can go a single minute without their heads exploding.  Imagine continually picking up 1000's of scents simultaneously and everyone of those aromas being magnified to the 100th power.  Why even a dang rose would be enough to cause severe vomitus, and don't even mention some fresh cat diarrhea.  I understand the fact that like wild animals, we humans cannot seem to control our nocturnal desires to go shove our boogery noses into every gunky gooyie cleft and crevasse known to man.  And to top it all off, after we do it and come to the brilliant conclusion that... I'll be darn...that stinks...  we go and do the same thing the first chance we get.  Musicman, will we ever learn? 

Longhorn
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Ninny

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #74 on: August 20, 2010, 09:19:28 PM »

Musicman...since you have moved on to another question I see you survived the pelt-shaving incident! Thank the Lord!! Now I'm glad that I left the dog sniffing to the expert, Longhorn...LH, you are SO deserving of that award I gave you the other night!!  I KNEW You'd have the right answer to Musicman's question! You're SO smart!!  ;D

But now, Musicman.. I have to tell you something!!

I am so sorry that i have been so insensitive! I have figured it out with my special investigative powers the whole situation!! Here's what I have decided...

I know why you decided to shave the pelt!!!! the troublesome forest-like chest hair! I don't know why it took me so long!!!

 You have decided NEVER again to date women you pick up in the woods at night on the full moon!!!!  :o You have decided that you are no longer going to date any woman you have to ditch at the zoo!! :o You have decided NEVER again to date women who would be more suited to King Kong!!!  :o AND FINALLY.. you will NEVER AGAIN date the Missing Link OR any of her relatives!!!!! :D :D \o/  I am SO proud of you MM!!! Your mother will now be able to sleep at night and your dad can stop calling you on Sunday evening to make sure you survived another weekend!! AND I myself, your biggest fan....can rest easy knowing that I will have many more years of stepping in here to keep you out of trouble!!!  ;D 8)  :-*

I'm here for you, as always!!
Kathy ;)

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judith collier

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #75 on: August 21, 2010, 12:09:06 PM »

janine, you're right, it was jassy!
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jassy

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #76 on: August 22, 2010, 08:22:26 AM »

janine, you're right, it was jassy!


Yes Judy, I cannot tell a lie, It was my towering intellect on the leg issue. I am not participating on this post anymore as Longhorn did not answer my meaning of life question. But does on hair issues. Hello.
I will have to carry on my quest for others of more towering intellect than mine. sigh.
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longhorn

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #77 on: August 22, 2010, 08:34:12 PM »

Jassy.  I have good news, and bad news.  The bad news is that I feel totally unqualified to answer your question, " What is the meaning of Life"? Let me explain.  You see Jassy, you may or may not have noticed that for some strange reason ( more than likely very, very cheap Vodka ) Longhorn seems to view life somewhat diffrently than the average person.  Oh sure, I could give you some silly twisted theoretical mumble jumble that may satisfy a few on this forum for a day or two, but I simply cannot give advise that might cause permanent brain damage to those seeking quadralateral imbroglio invideous harmony.  Sorry, but right now is not a good time to be seeking advise from Longhorn, for my thought process, in fact every synapse fireing throughout my medula oblomgata is directed solely on this quest..... to find the perfect beverage to serve for tonights meal....... chili with no beans, 2 year old fruit cake ( given to me by my Aunt Francis ), Green pepper stuffed Lucky Charms cereal, a bowl of cheese whiz sprinkled with pop rocks candy, and a fried head of lettuce.

Almost forgot Jassy.  Since Longhorn wasn't able to answer your question, You and a guest win a all-expense paid 1 night, 3 day vacation to longhorn ranch.  Don't nobody tell me Longhorns not a man of his word.

Longhorn
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jassy

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #78 on: August 23, 2010, 06:29:35 AM »

Great Scott Longhorn,! you have answered me!. I have pondered on this meaningless question for too long.
My only two worldly questions were the meaning of life and what beverage to serve at every meal.

I thought beer was perfect with all things but now I stand amazed. What beverage would you serve with cuisine such as you described?
My whole mind has been refocussed, I feel reborn!
Not beer, wine? no , spirits? no. too mundane.

This deserves a special something, How about a Pangalatic Gargle Blaster? The effect of which is rumoured to be similar to been hit in the head with a gold brick wrapped in a dirty sock.

I will not take you up on invite, you have been a man of your word.

jassy
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Ninny

  • Guest
Re: Let's Ask Longhorn
« Reply #79 on: August 23, 2010, 08:31:06 AM »

Jassy!
At last! Longhorn has done something meaningful with his life!!!

LONGHORN!!! why not wash all that trash down with a glass of mud?? Oh my gosh!! I am almost speechless after knowing the things you eat!! Whoever heard of actually EATING your Aunt Francis' fruitcake!?!?!?!
Longhorn....you are messed up, dude...lay off the cheap Vodka!!

BTW Longhorn...Justin wanted me to tell you that he is very, very, very, etc... upset about what you said about Nick Saban!! BUT he doesn't have a comeback..yet...you see he wanted me to tell you that he is now on the JR Varsity FOOTBALL team at his middle school...he's not actually playing yet..he's equipment manager at the present, but the coach wants him to play! He is going to be a college player for the Crimson Tide and when he gets there he's coming to TX to kick butt!! hehehehe!! Same warning to the Miami Hurricanes!! so you guys only have 5 years to get your teams in shape!!!  This year 8th grade.....soon....college! Look out Longhorn and Musicman Justin is growing up!!! hehe!! (This whole thing could change if he decides to play baseball! But he's still gunning for TX and FL!!)

Love you SOOOOO much!! hehe!
Kathy  ;)   seriously.....
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