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[Stacey]

Has this ever happened to you?

1. I don't pray any more. I don't want too. I have no drive, desire, or want to in any way to pray. Oh I acknowledge God in my heart, in my inner being but as far as what I would call knee time praying; that doesn't happen anymore.

2. I do not read my bible. I remember a time that I truly enjoyed reading my bible and learning new things, truths, the little nuggets of truth that give you an incredible feeling of newly found treasure and excitement but those times are a distant past now. 

3. Very seldom do I talk about God. There are times when the subject comes up at work but for the most part I walk away. Even at home  at one point I was once considered the spiritual leader of the family but I suppose I walked away from that too. Why? I have absolutely no clue.

4. This is the worst one of all. I'm OK with 1-3 but not quite a 100%  because I felt the need to post it here for everyone to see if this has happened to any of you. If this has happened to you and your on the other side of it now, then I would love to hear about it.

I'm not having a pity party but I surely would like to know what the heck is going on.

[mharrell08]

Has this ever happened to you?

1. I don't pray any more. I don't want too. I have no drive, desire, or want to in any way to pray. Oh I acknowledge God in my heart, in my inner being but as far as what I would call knee time praying; that doesn't happen anymore.

2. I do not read my bible. I remember a time that I truly enjoyed reading my bible and learning new things, truths, the little nuggets of truth that give you an incredible feeling of newly found treasure and excitement but those times are a distant past now. 

3. Very seldom do I talk about God. There are times when the subject comes up at work but for the most part I walk away. Even at home  at one point I was once considered the spiritual leader of the family but I suppose I walked away from that too. Why? I have absolutely no clue.

4. This is the worst one of all. I'm OK with 1-3 but not quite a 100%  because I felt the need to post it here for everyone to see if this has happened to any of you. If this has happened to you and your on the other side of it now, then I would love to hear about it.

I'm not having a pity party but I surely would like to know what the heck is going on.

Yes

1. I stopped 'knee time' praying a long time ago. To each his/her own in that regards. How you communicate with God is your own preference but it is good to communicate. If it is only in thought, that is good. If it is meant to grow, you'll feel God pull you in that direction.

2. This happens probably more often than most would care to admit. It's happened to me for sure, even just recently. I wasn't actively trying to not read, it just happened. But getting back started is like riding a bike...read a little here and there and you're back to the way you are. Try finding your favorite verses and reading them...even if it's only 1 or 2, at least let those few be the 'meditation of your heart' [Ps 1:2; 19:14].

3. I don't talk religion or politics at my job. And though I don't consider a relationship with God to be 'religion', I know co-workers do, so I don't bring those discussions to the office. At home, I don't have anyone to speak with so I don't 'talk' about God much either.

I wouldn't worry so much about 'talking about God' but rather 'dying to self and living for God'. Show Christ in you by your actions, words will only ring hallow if your actions are not in line.

4. It happens and is meant for us to trust and rely on God all the more. Remember, it takes the 'trying of your faith' to develop patience [James 1:3] and this patience must be perfected [James 1:4]. It may seem crazy now, but once God pulls you closer, you'll look back and see WHY it was worth it and you learn from it.

That's all I can say from my experience,

Marques

[Deborah-Leigh]

Yes Stacey.

Yes, on all counts and more.

I got to talking back AT God and gave him a piece of my mind! In return, He gave me a peace (spelling intended), of His Spirit....I did not expect it, or anticipate it either. God can keep very still, quiet and it is our death not His we feel. God is not dead but alive. He leads us through death to overcome death and all that death is in every form and feeling. When He doesn't talk to us, we are deaf, not Him. When He doesn't move us, we are as dead, not Him.  

What emotion are you feeling?

The worst for me are the feelings of paralysis in mind, body, soul, being and life......THAT is the worst!!! and then again, it is not. Pain, PAIN is much worse and that paralysis is also a form of pain!

God showed me He can cause it and He can remove it too, as and when He does. And He DOES. It's all Him.

A big hug to you.
 
Arc

[GaryK]

Yes Stacey.  All of them apply.

At one point anger toward God towered above anything.  He brought me to finding Ray’s teachings and then seemed to vanish like the wind.  I didn’t understand.   The only tools I had in the gigantic....colossal……internal struggle was Ray’s papers.  And Ray has some hard sayings, but the truth.    All I could feel was: ‘THIS is what God planned for my life!!!!!?  I didn’t care for God much.   

All four of your points were immediate, all at once.

More anger.

More confusion.

Silence. 

And the silence was deafening.


He never released his grip.  He never does.


RE-read this paper, especially this portion, perhaps some help for a clearer vision:

THE SEA OF GALILEE VERSUS THE LAKE OF FIRE

“Do you not see yourself in this scene? Do you not picture yourself being compelled by our Lord to enter the dark and scary trials of this life? Do you not feel TOSSED by the frightening trials and tribulations of this life?”

http://bible-truths.com/lake12.html

Halfway down the page.

And:

FOUR JUDGMENTS OF JESUS
 
The first four judgments of Jesus in His Sermon revolve around "brothers" in Christ who "do the will of God." And even calling a brother "you fool," will bring judgment of Jesus on your life. But what about the last one-"prison?" Does Jesus put us in prison? Yes, He certainly does. I can personally vouch for this one, and maybe you can too. Sometimes we are put into a position where we just can't get out. There IS NO WAY OUT. We will physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually struggle for a way out, but there is no way out. You are in spiritual prison! And Jesus ONLY has the keys.
 
http://bible-truths.com/lake16-D3.htm

All the way down the page.



If he’s begun the work, he’ll finish it.

Peace to you Stacey.

[Felix]

Hi Stacey. It's good to hear from you. Your honesty is wonderful. I don't know if I could have written that
even though I'm going through something very similar.

Praying on my knees: I used to have a habit of every morning praying on my knees. But, I read where Ray
said nothing physical is spiritual. So, why should I be on my knees? Now I sit in a comfortable chair and
have quiet time.

Read the bible: Yes, I don't read the bible as much. I'm a little irratated at myself for reading it the wrong
way. Although, daily bible reading gave me a foundation for what I believe today.

Talk about God: My witnessing is better now because I tell people about the love of God and I'm not worried sick about one of my friends going to hell because of me.

[Dave in Tenn]

I've experienced all of the above in waves.  They come and go.  I am not constantly reading or studying.  I take frequent breaks.  In fact, I still haven't finished watching the videos from the last conference.  It felt like I was 'pushing' and wasn't ready.  That must be true, as it is what happened.

I've never been one for formal 'prayer time', and have never had much faith for praying for specific things.  I don't even know if that's right or wrong...it's just the way it is, and I refuse to fake it.

The main spiritual 'activity' going on in my life is still repentance.  I mean that both in the sense of seeing less of the dominion of sin in my life AND in changing my mind in life-changing ways about all the loose threads of old wineskin-thinking that still plague me.  Repentance takes a long time.  When I'm finished, I'll let you know about how long it should take. 

Stacey, the carnal mind is enmity with God.  If your former praying, reading, speaking was carnal -- and although I don't want to insult you, if it was anything like MINE, it mostly most certainly was -- then it is GOOD to be (getting) rid of it.  We SAY we believe that 'getting saved' takes a lifetime, but sometimes we talk like we really believe it's supposed to happen quickly.  By some accounts, Paul spent 10 years in Jerusalem before he began his missionary work.  We learn a few truths that have barely changed US and think we're fit to change the world.  Hubris.

It also takes time to learn how to worship in Spirit and in Truth.  It's a GOOD thing to stand still and come to know that He is God, to NOT move out of the state we find ourselves in until He moves us.  It's a STRUGGLE to enter rest.  It's a little here, a little there, faith upon faith.  Again, I have no desire to fake it.  I didn't leave religion 20+ years ago to join another one--or worse, make up my own.

Despite all my 'failings' in the areas of life you've mentioned, God is still at work, and I look BACK from time to time (As Ray Smith and John the Beloved disciple did) to see that, even though it's hard to see it TODAY.

Hang in there.  HE is able to make you stand, and He will finish what He's started. 
   

[lauriellen]

i am always so AMAZED to see how God is bringing so many through basically the same experiences (different circustances but so similar in experience)....
i had been really thinking about posting something along these same lines, but the words were taken right out of my mouth in this post....thanks so much for all who contributed....it is a relief to know that others are going through much the same thing.....very encouraging.....thanks again,
lauriellen

[judith collier]

Amen Stacy and lauriellen. I usually end up thinking i must be the worst of Christians because at times the apathy is almost unbearable. I keep talking to God but it is impossible to work something up and then i get all bent out of shape, worry about it all. Fervor is hard to imitate when it is not there.
We are told to stir up the gifts in us. Sometimes I don't or can't stir for the life of myself.
Love, judy

[Stacey]

Marques - Thanks for sharing. I always thought of praying/talking or listening to God on bended knee's was an outward expression of what really is happening inward. Me acknowledging  God as Lord and humbling my self in his presence to speak with Him with what ever that prayer time was about. I agree with you and  know that praying/talking/listening to God can certainly be done no matter the position of our body.

My job requires me to work with and be around the same 4 to 5 men for 28 days at a time. Naturally we learn about each others families and the good times and troubles that come along in each of our lives. God always comes into the picture and conversation at some point during the 28 day hitch. I used to not have a problem talking about the Bible, religion and God but lately, I discovered that I don't really have the conversation in me to share and find it best to keep quite.

Arc - A big hug to you, right back atcha!  I'm sure you are happy that God only gave you Peace of mind’ instead of a piece of His mind. Emotionally speaking, I'd say disconnected best describes where I am.

GaryK - I believe you have nailed it! I took your advice and did re read the section of Part X11 you suggested. Read it before at least twice but, got a lot more from this time around. I too have been angered at God and had unbelief like - “ I can't believe you are gonna do me that way, show me a thing or two here and there and then kick me to the curb, leave me hanging like this” If only I had known that I am in Spiritual Prison it would of helped with the anger a little but, I know now! Thanks for sharing, visiting  and writing me while I'm serving time. 

Felix - Honesty is the best policy - That is where I'll make my stand on almost everything. Being open with honesty, that is a whole different ball game and can and has put me in some predicaments in life that give a new and sometimes not welcome understanding of being caught between a rock and a hard place. Honestly,  lol, I don't recommend open honestly, keep it inside sometimes!

Dave - Amen! To everything you said and no, I don't find insult with anything you said, quite the opposite. Thanks for sharing. Looking back is fine unless an angel tells you not to do it. Genesis 19:17
Looking back is a good way to know and remember where you came from but, if you have only traveled a short distance; no need to look back yet because its all still very close to you.

Lauriellen - Ain't God Great!  It just don't seem like it all the time, you surely know that old saying “ God is Great, ALL the time” , it just rolls of the tongue so easily but in reality, it gets to be NOT so great to us sometimes.

Judy - AMEN! Thanks for sharing.

Thanks to everyone for contributing. The advise and encouragement you all have shared is PRICELESS to me. Next time you all come to visit me here in Spiritual Prison, bring a pack of smokes. I don't smoke but I might could trade’em for a sandwich or a snack cake.

[Samson]

Hi Stacey,

                I viewed this thread the other day, but work and time constraints delayed my response. Thanks for your honesty. Some very good replies posted by everyone, especially appreciated Marques, Dave and Deborah's replies. Personally, I experience some peaks and valleys regarding studying, meditation and prayer. I don't do too much official(what's official mean) type praying. there's a Scripture somewhere that refers to "sayings unuttered" in reference to communicating with God. So, in a sense I pray in my mind, asking God to help me cope with Life's fiery trials and for Him to help me make a good choice, especially in regards to my Character and thoughts. In response to Your Thread, my biggest downfall would have to relate to "getting bored," I have a tendency to get bored easily, so have to be alert to the syndrome of Religious Hobbyist type thinking. The attitude, What's New or What's next, because I heard that before. Gratefully, there's plenty of information provided by Ray to exceed a lifetime for comprehending, as I have yet to do so, especially the 2008 Conference Material, that's not particularly my cup of tea, insofar as interest is concerned in contrast to the 2009 Conference, now that's more in my scope of interest. So, there is much food to eat and savor here.

                              Kind Regards, Samson.

[Roy Martin]

I know exactly where your at Stacey. I'm there too. I don't care to study or read anyone's teachings. I read a lot of things on Facebook and make comments; some foolish and some from experience, but my mind just never seems to seize thinking about God. I'm in a time of just wanting to live with Christ in me through experiences of my own as well as others. I don't fear mistakes because I think mistakes is the foundation of knowledge= wisdom and it all comes from God.
 I have no guilt or shame from where I'm at right now because I've learned that God is in control leading my steps and influencing my thoughts. I'm at total peace with that.

Peace
Roy

[Stacey]

Samson - 

I have a tendency to get bored easily

Ain't that the truth! MEE TOO. I don't know why but I cannot stay focused or locked in to reading and studying for very long at all these days. Is is boredom? I don't know. Thanks for sharing Bro.

Roy Martin - ROY MARTIN! Its good to hear from you! You been hiding out behind the scenes ain't cha. Well now, Face Book comments huh? I got one better for ya, not that I'm trying to one up ya but this should at least get a chuckle or too. Try out Yahoo Answers mainly the R/S section (Religion and Spirituality) for an anger/venting outlet! Talk about pure pointless, wasteful use of time; thats a place to let it all hang out.  and AND, they give you POINTS too! You make a couple of really good points that I relate to in your post.

I don't care to study or read anyone's teachings

I didn't invite this not wanting to study thing, it just happened. I can pick  up one of Ray's papers and start reading and 5 minutes later, I'm done, can't continue for lack of want too. That, I hate, with a passion. I cannot stand to NOT WANT TO study.

I don't fear mistakes

Umm, did ya ever have one or see one of those old battery powered toy cars or trains that you turn'em on and they run around till they hit a wall and automatically turn and go until they hit another wall? Well thats kinda like me. I know Ima hit the wall sooner or later, but I don't care, and besides, I'll get up or bounce off of it and take off running till the next wall comes along and like you said, I don't fear what the wall (mistakes/consequences) may bring with it. <-- This is probably not healthy, and I don't recommend it.

 

[Stacey]

I've been hanging around youtube a little lately. Just wanted to toss this in here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSFEA9ezMv0&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0IvLkJQA44&feature=related

That's good music medicine, I don't care who you are!  

[dogcombat]

Stacey,

YES, it has happened to me.  Sometimes, we need to step away from forcing ourselves into CARNALLY putting on the breastplate of righteousness.  I think God uses these feelings we get to show us HOW to be patient.  In other words, like the "spiritual prison" reference from earlier, we find ourselves like Jonah being brought to a point of brokenness and surrender.   God's truths take time to grow in each of us.  Some sooner than others, but it's all on His time schedule.   Not one Milli-second sooner, not one nano-second later. 

I can only say that when God inspires you to read, study, or teach in some way.  You'll begin to understand why you went through this phase.


God enlighten you
Ches

[Roy Martin]

Hi Stacey,
 Man I have learned and trust God with all my heart that no matter where I am that He is in control, always teaching, humbling, changing me in everything I say and do.
  Get this; It was yesterday I think that I posted to this topic that I didn't care to study anyone's teachings, but this morning I get up and get my coffee and sit at the computer and before I know it I'm digging again into the L.O.F series with a passion.
I did that for over 4 hours as if it was the first time I had read them. It felt good.
 That was the first time I've read for quite some time. I have gone back though quite often when I need big bullets for a big gun cause you know Ray and LOF is big serious bullets. And when the going gets tough, this forum is where I come. This is where we are all like minded for the most part. We can't always say what we want, but that's okay. We have facebook and other outlets where we can vent and say and do things that quite often in my case comes back and bites me in the butt. Its all a part of the process.
 We never stop learning. Everything in my life has been a lesson and I know all to well that God knows exactly what He is doing with us, and its all good.
 I don't know my steps from one day to the next, but I trust God to lead me where ever I go. Interesting though isn't it that He had me back to reading Rays teachings today, and I got a whole lot of things from it that I didn't get before.
I don't have a clue what I'll be doing tomorrow. I could die in my sleep, but I do know that God knows what I'll be doing and what ever it is, it will be good. It might not be pleasant, but it might also be great. Its all good.

Peace
Roy
 

[Stacey]

YES, it has happened to me

I can only say that when God inspires you to read, study, or teach in some way.  You'll begin to understand why you went through this phase.

I believe everybody that has posted here so far has experienced to some degree or another the 4 things I listed above. To know that THAT can be the norm sometimes is the answer I was searching for. Hearing from you all concerning your personal experiences with the issues I posted gives me hope that this will all soon pass. I am grateful for the encouragement you all have offered. 

Ches I hope I didn't mislead you or anyone into thinking that I want to teach because nothing could be further from the truth. I am a student, and a poor one at that. Thanks for sharing.

Roy - I'm glad you got some good study time in today and I hope that spark turns into a blazing, burning yearning for more of God.

[Deborah-Leigh]

.....To know that THAT can be the norm sometimes is the answer.....

THAT is a nugget of insight that comes through this mining expedition! It shines authenticity, the real thing...with the following...

1Pe 4:12  Beloved, THINK IT NOT STRANGE, concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:

Peter did not tell us WHY, oh why we should," think it not strange." There is comfort in NOT thinking it strange, weird, or that we are being isolated for target practise! This is NORMAL ~ "...the norm..."~ to those assigned to be purged and purified as the Children of God and Sons and Daughters of His Kingdom. I too did not realise that Stacey, before you mentioned it brother. God is causing you to help us understand that its "normal" AND we're not alone! That is so comforting!!

Eph 2:10  For we are His Workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.  It's the norm...

Arc

[Samson]

.....To know that THAT can be the norm sometimes is the answer.....

THAT is a nugget of insight that comes through this mining expedition! It shines authenticity, the real thing...with the following...

1Pe 4:12  Beloved, THINK IT NOT STRANGE, concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:

Peter did not tell us WHY, oh why we should," think it not strange." There is comfort in NOT thinking it strange, weird, or that we are being isolated for target practise! This is NORMAL ~ "...the norm..."~ to those assigned to be purged and purified as the Children of God and Sons and Daughters of His Kingdom. I too did not realise that Stacey, before you mentioned it brother. God is causing you to help us understand that its "normal" AND we're not alone! That is so comforting!!

Eph 2:10  For we are His Workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.  It's the norm...

Arc

Hey Deborah,

                   Appreciated your Post, that was an interesting and profound way to put it, regarding God's Chosen Elect and those Called: WE ARE BEING ISOLATED FOR TARGET PRACTICE(CAPS MINE FOR EMPHASIS). I concur with that,  .

                                   Kind Regards, Samson.

[Shawn Fainn]

Hey Deborah,

                   Appreciated your Post, that was an interesting and profound way to put it, regarding God's Chosen Elect and those Called: WE ARE BEING ISOLATED FOR TARGET PRACTICE(CAPS MINE FOR EMPHASIS). I concur with that,  .
                                   Kind Regards, Samson.

I'd be interested in seeing a topic about what types of 'target practice' you all have to deal with.. Maybe just to look back on and laugh, or even to help others relate and cope with their own trials.

For me, this week I've had some interesting 'practices' on patience and anger management.. lol

[Akira329]

Has this ever happened to you?

1. I don't pray any more.
Yes! This has been an issue with me before I even found these truths. I talk to myself a lot so I always figured if I wasn't talking to someone else I was talking to God. I enjoy our conversions now more than ever!!
Also prayer is meditation. What is it that you meditate on all day? What do you think about all day?

2. I do not read my bible.
Yes! When I first found the truth I couldn't put it down. But like Dave said, it comes in waves sometimes. I'll have something on my mind and just turn to scriptures for clarification. If I have issues in life that no one can seem to help me with I try and find scriptures that relate to my circumstance. My best advice to give you for keeping up your reading and studying is is scripture the answer?
If not, you'll hardly find any use in a casual read.


3. Very seldom do I talk about God.
Yes! I avoid it like the plague at work. I'm pretty sure I would lose my job if I talk with my boss now! LOL
Also it depends on who I'm talking to.
Talking about God to others is like talking to someone about your favorite hobbies. Some people just aren't interested in your life!
If they are, then just answer what needs to be answered.
If not what is there to talk about? Not much.

Most of the time I find myself talking more about the other persons likes and dislikes than my own.

4. This is the worst one of all. I'm OK with 1-3 but not quite a 100%.
Yes! Be patient! I get bored too! Sometimes you just want something to happen!
but remember these:
Php 4:11  Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
I love this verse:
Php 1:6  Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

Stacey,
Your in good company!

Antaiwan