> Testimonies / Prayer Requests / Fellowship
Has this ever happened to you?
Dave in Tenn:
I've experienced all of the above in waves. They come and go. I am not constantly reading or studying. I take frequent breaks. In fact, I still haven't finished watching the videos from the last conference. It felt like I was 'pushing' and wasn't ready. That must be true, as it is what happened.
I've never been one for formal 'prayer time', and have never had much faith for praying for specific things. I don't even know if that's right or wrong...it's just the way it is, and I refuse to fake it.
The main spiritual 'activity' going on in my life is still repentance. I mean that both in the sense of seeing less of the dominion of sin in my life AND in changing my mind in life-changing ways about all the loose threads of old wineskin-thinking that still plague me. Repentance takes a long time. When I'm finished, I'll let you know about how long it should take. ;)
Stacey, the carnal mind is enmity with God. If your former praying, reading, speaking was carnal -- and although I don't want to insult you, if it was anything like MINE, it mostly most certainly was -- then it is GOOD to be (getting) rid of it. We SAY we believe that 'getting saved' takes a lifetime, but sometimes we talk like we really believe it's supposed to happen quickly. By some accounts, Paul spent 10 years in Jerusalem before he began his missionary work. We learn a few truths that have barely changed US and think we're fit to change the world. Hubris.
It also takes time to learn how to worship in Spirit and in Truth. It's a GOOD thing to stand still and come to know that He is God, to NOT move out of the state we find ourselves in until He moves us. It's a STRUGGLE to enter rest. It's a little here, a little there, faith upon faith. Again, I have no desire to fake it. I didn't leave religion 20+ years ago to join another one--or worse, make up my own.
Despite all my 'failings' in the areas of life you've mentioned, God is still at work, and I look BACK from time to time (As Ray Smith and John the Beloved disciple did) to see that, even though it's hard to see it TODAY.
Hang in there. HE is able to make you stand, and He will finish what He's started.
lauriellen:
i am always so AMAZED to see how God is bringing so many through basically the same experiences (different circustances but so similar in experience)....
i had been really thinking about posting something along these same lines, but the words were taken right out of my mouth in this post....thanks so much for all who contributed....it is a relief to know that others are going through much the same thing.....very encouraging.....thanks again,
lauriellen
judith collier:
Amen Stacy and lauriellen. I usually end up thinking i must be the worst of Christians because at times the apathy is almost unbearable. I keep talking to God but it is impossible to work something up and then i get all bent out of shape, worry about it all. Fervor is hard to imitate when it is not there.
We are told to stir up the gifts in us. Sometimes I don't or can't stir for the life of myself.
Love, judy
Stacey:
Marques - Thanks for sharing. I always thought of praying/talking or listening to God on bended knee's was an outward expression of what really is happening inward. Me acknowledging God as Lord and humbling my self in his presence to speak with Him with what ever that prayer time was about. I agree with you and know that praying/talking/listening to God can certainly be done no matter the position of our body.
My job requires me to work with and be around the same 4 to 5 men for 28 days at a time. Naturally we learn about each others families and the good times and troubles that come along in each of our lives. God always comes into the picture and conversation at some point during the 28 day hitch. I used to not have a problem talking about the Bible, religion and God but lately, I discovered that I don't really have the conversation in me to share and find it best to keep quite.
Arc - A big hug to you, right back atcha! :) I'm sure you are happy that God only gave you Peace of mind’ instead of a piece of His mind. Emotionally speaking, I'd say disconnected best describes where I am.
GaryK - I believe you have nailed it! I took your advice and did re read the section of Part X11 you suggested. Read it before at least twice but, got a lot more from this time around. I too have been angered at God and had unbelief like - “ I can't believe you are gonna do me that way, show me a thing or two here and there and then kick me to the curb, leave me hanging like this” If only I had known that I am in Spiritual Prison it would of helped with the anger a little but, I know now! Thanks for sharing, visiting and writing me while I'm serving time. :)
Felix - Honesty is the best policy - That is where I'll make my stand on almost everything. Being open with honesty, that is a whole different ball game and can and has put me in some predicaments in life that give a new and sometimes not welcome understanding of being caught between a rock and a hard place. Honestly, ;D lol, I don't recommend open honestly, keep it inside sometimes!
Dave - Amen! To everything you said and no, I don't find insult with anything you said, quite the opposite. Thanks for sharing. Looking back is fine unless an angel tells you not to do it. Genesis 19:17
Looking back is a good way to know and remember where you came from but, if you have only traveled a short distance; no need to look back yet because its all still very close to you.
Lauriellen - Ain't God Great! :) It just don't seem like it all the time, you surely know that old saying “ God is Great, ALL the time” , it just rolls of the tongue so easily but in reality, it gets to be NOT so great to us sometimes.
Judy - AMEN! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks to everyone for contributing. The advise and encouragement you all have shared is PRICELESS to me. Next time you all come to visit me here in Spiritual Prison, bring a pack of smokes. I don't smoke but I might could trade’em for a sandwich or a snack cake.
Samson:
Hi Stacey,
I viewed this thread the other day, but work and time constraints delayed my response. Thanks for your honesty. Some very good replies posted by everyone, especially appreciated Marques, Dave and Deborah's replies. Personally, I experience some peaks and valleys regarding studying, meditation and prayer. I don't do too much official(what's official mean) type praying. there's a Scripture somewhere that refers to "sayings unuttered" in reference to communicating with God. So, in a sense I pray in my mind, asking God to help me cope with Life's fiery trials and for Him to help me make a good choice, especially in regards to my Character and thoughts. In response to Your Thread, my biggest downfall would have to relate to "getting bored," I have a tendency to get bored easily, so have to be alert to the syndrome of Religious Hobbyist type thinking. The attitude, What's New or What's next, because I heard that before. Gratefully, there's plenty of information provided by Ray to exceed a lifetime for comprehending, as I have yet to do so, especially the 2008 Conference Material, that's not particularly my cup of tea, insofar as interest is concerned in contrast to the 2009 Conference, now that's more in my scope of interest. So, there is much food to eat and savor here.
Kind Regards, Samson.
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