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Need prayer
lilitalienboi16:
Hey, I was hoping I could get some prayer from anyone who doesn't feel burdened remembering me anytime at all. I'm dealing with great struggles against the flesh, and I mean those struggles a man deals with... when his hormones rage like their is no tomorrow. I can't stand it, I know its not who I want to be, I know its not me, but I am absolutely powerless and even thats an understatement. I've tried time and time again, i'm constantly overcome. I've prayed for hours upon end, for months and months, years now. I feel like I've been thrown into a spiritual prison by the Lord. I want out.
Absolutely tired and tired of this, tired of wanting it one moment, then hating myself for having wanted it or done it the next. I feel like i'm absolutely bent and twisted upside down inside, the only thing that makes sense are pauls words... That which I want, I do not do and that which I do , I do not want... Ugh.. what a contradictive mess of desires I am!
I can't stand it, in my heart of hearts I want the Lord to reign over this temple and destroy this beast yet I find myself embracing the flesh at every temptation of it...
Prayers please.... Thank you.
Deborah-Leigh:
Hey lilitalienboi16
I see this is your first post in the BT Forum! 8)
No one here has the keys of that prison you are in but most of us have been there or are in there with you! :'( It is a very painful place! :-[ It is great that you don't like it, where you are! I'd be concerned if you were not being caused to feel the dismay, weakness, frailty and your carnal liability to temptation. That is something we all have to endure but God doesn't give it to many to feel the pain and agony because many are taking the broad way to perdition and are simply accepting and accommodating the condition of subjection to sin. It is wonderful that you are not making this time in prison feel like it is okay with your soul. You are being caused to despise the condition as Jesus Himself despised the shame....You are to do the same. :) :'( :)
Heb 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
I know you want out. That is only natural ~ yet ~ only the Lord has the keys....Non of us can fight or want to fight with Him to set you free. Why? Because our Lord does everything for a very good outcome. There is a purpose too, for the fact that you are experiencing your difficulties. You have to go through the pain :( :'(
Act 14:22 Confirming the souls of the disciples, and exhorting them to continue in the faith, and that we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God.
Don't give up or give in to the struggle and the dismay towards your spiritual condition. I would feel comforted if the Lord causes you to continue your turning in appeal and surrender to the Lord's Plan for you. I believe He is building up in you, His Faith that you trust in Him. Just think...one day...when it pleases the Lord to let you go free....you shall have the wisdom, empathy and understanding of the humility, feelings of guilt and despair that others have to endure and perhaps you'll be able to encourage, assure and bring some form of empathy purged of condemnation that might help someone else. Until then, it is good that you are suffering...and I, for one, rejoice.... :)
2Co 7:9 Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing.
2Co 7:10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.
I know that a few people when they are in prison, are caused to take a new and otherwise different occupation to take the opportunity to learn or study. Have you started to read the LOF Series here. I hope our Lord gives you the privilege to do something constructive and peacefully beneficial for your soul.... :)
Take comfort that our Lord has not grouped you together with those who look to defy Him.
Rom 1:32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
Take comfort and strength, as the Lord teaches you Patience and Humility as you realise that the law of sin is a law that God has written for a worthy purpose and keeping assurance and gratitude that God has not put you together with those under God's strong delusion! That's the good news! 8) :)
~ Welcome to the Forum. :)
Blessings
Arc
G. Driggs:
Hi Alex, and welcome back! I've often thought of you and prayed for you since you left. I will most definitely continue to pray for you. It's good to have you here again.
I can relate to your struggles, as I think most men can. Realize and understand you were made this way, and it's gonna take a lot to unmake you this way. Because Jesus overcame, He has enabled you to overcome also, just be patient. It's gonna take judgment to make you righteous, but better now than later.
Here are some words from Ray which I sincerely hope will encourage and strengthen you.
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http://www.bible-truths.com/lake16-D4.htm
And so Jesus, Who knew the temptations of the flesh (the "temptations," not the "lusts"). Jesus was tempted, but never lusted. Once you "lust," you have already "SINNED." Jesus went right to the heart of the problem of spiritual morality and spiritual conversion:
"You have heard that it was said by them of old time, you shall not commit adultery..."
And there are many men who have been obedient to this part of the commandment.
"But I say unto you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matt. 5:27-28).
So what is a man to do? No viral man has the ability to NOT LUST after pretty women (and as Billy Crystal would have us know, sometimes not so pretty women). It is as natural as a knee-jerk, and if you women hear a different story from your husbands, know that they are lying through their teeth. All men lust after women. But it's a sin. Why is it a sin? Because Jesus said so. (And other reasons I don't have time to go into now). It's a sin and men are powerless to overcome it. What are we to do? Not even marriage will totally solve the spiritual aspect of this problem. But there is a way to conquer this and all sins.
Jesus never sinned. Why not? Why didn't Jesus sin? I have said before: Because His Father wouldn't let Him sin, and because His Father inspired Jesus through His Holy Spirit to turn from the temptation every time. Jesus' motivation to not sin was much greater than His temptation to sin, and the stronger motivator (the love of God's Spirit in Him) always won out. This is how Jesus "overcame the world." Now then, is this powerful motivator available to us? Yes, thank God, it is:
"But you shall receive power after that the Holy Spirit is come upon you..." (Acts 1:8).
And so, when a man who is tempted to spend more time looking at a woman than he should, looking at her to lust after her, the Spirit of God will give him power to turn away. God won't make you or force you to turn away, but He will give you the power to turn away, and then you have to do the turning. And should you fail to turn away before you actually lust after her, then you must "pluck out your eye. No not your literal, physical, organ of the body, but the lustful eye of your heart.
No man's physical eyes has ever lusted after anything. All lust comes from the heart, the carnal mind, and that part of the carnal mind must be "plucked out," or "cut off." But you must be the one who does the plucking and cutting or God will intervene and "cast your whole body into Gehenna fire" in a later Judgment where this spiritual fire is called "The Lake of Fire."
We can either volunteer to stop sinning now, in this life, or God will volunteer us to stop sinning later, in the resurrection to Judgment. Yes, of course, it will be God in us regardless of which Judgment we find ourselves.
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http://www.bible-truths.com/lake13.html
THE SPIRITUAL SYMBOL OF THE SAND
I have already stated a dozen times or so in this paper that we must all "follow Christ." Peter puts it this way:
"For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an EXAMPLE, that we should FOLLOW HIS STEPS: Who did NO SIN, neither was guile found in His mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when He suffered, He threatened not; but committed Himself to Him that judges righteously: Who His own self bare our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto RIGHTEOUSNESS: by whose stripes ye were healed. For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now RETURNED unto the Shepherd and Bishop [overseer] of your souls"
Notice that we are all to follow His steps. But Jesus "did NO SIN," and we ALL sin. There is the giant difference. We have to KEEP WALKING in His steps until we STOP SINNING. But the point to be made here is, that we must and WILL "follow His steps."
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G.Driggs
grapehound:
Welcome to the Forum Bro,
That's quite an opening post! It truly shows just how desperate you are feeling.
The blessing is that God has given you the courage to despise your condition in a Forum!
He doesn't give that gift to many.
As one man to another, I think that's the most common thing facing us when we are first dragged here. I certainly identify with where you are, but I didn't have your courage to be as open. I struggled for decades;without any human counsel. Only Him.
That's how it was for me. Just Him and lil' me. It was a very lonely place. It seemed the more I struggled, the worse it got. It destroyed two marriages. Neither of my ex wives were to blame.
Then I was "drawn out to a place from which I could not return". He caused life to conspire against my desires. He cornered me in a little one bedroomed home, hidden amongst the sprawl of a drug ridden, gun toting, council estate in the suburbs.
He gave me my dog Molly as my only companion. He provided my food and drink: and surprisingly, my internet connection!
Despite a loving family, I lived like a recluse for 2 years. They stopped visiting because of my downward spiral. I had always prided myself on my appearance. I became a dishevelled bum.
I would only wash when I started to itch. Hair and a beard like ZZ Top. Social Services had to come in and clean me up. Then the psychiatrists got hold of me. It was a nightmare; and I didn't care.
Before repentance and my 20 years in Babylon, I was a handsome 6'2" ex-model and entertainer, a womaniser, a snappy dresser with a constant wit. I was 'the dude'. I was the kiss of death to any woman, married or not, I didn't care. I was restrained from that kind of living for 20 years! But the draw of the internet kept me a secret prisoner to my lusts.
When God finally cornered me here, where I live now, He allowed me to sicken myself with my appetites. He really turned me over to the darkness. Then, I started the self loathing.
I struggled and struggled. A few weeks would go by and just when I thought I was out of it, it would return. I lost count of the 'foothills'. Then one day, I just understood that struggling was pointless. I would continue in my filth and just cry out, with tears. I would self injure to make me feel I was being punished. I was totally sickened by myself.
Then,
HE STEPPED IN.
It was miraculous. The feeling just got up and vanished.
I was hungry for prayer and fellowship with Him.
He just sovereignly changed it.
I was awestruck.
HE JUST SAID "NOW" His appointed time! Not mine.
My advice to you Brother? Stop struggling. Keep praying; constantly, all day long. Make it a habit. Make it an obsession. Talk with Him, talk, talk,talk. Let it be the reason you're even awake.
Maybe He's getting you sick of yourself.
Where would any of us be without "greasy Grace"?
Arcturus gave you His fine wisdom. I thought her words were excellent.
I almost clicked off the post, but God prevented me.
As I took hold of the mouse, saying "Good one Arc", He caused me to feel THAT pain. Now YOUR pain. I just had to tell ya.
Hope this has helped Bro, you're not alone. Ever.
His loving hand is most certainly upon you.
Stop struggling. Take your hand's off his wall and watch a Master Builder at work.
It will make you cry; tears of Joy and Gratitude.
PM me if you want to talk. I know where you're hanging brother. I think I can see how you're pinned.
Muchest Luv in His Grace and Mercy.
Grape
grapehound:
Just read your reply George, bless you Brother.
Great counsel.
Grape
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