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[lilitalienboi16]

Hey all,

First of all, thank you for all the replies and warm welcome and most certainly the prayers. Prayers.. Need lots of those... It has been a while and I apologize. I believe almost an entire year. I was... well, how can I say this, a walking contradiction on the inside? Even that feels to shallow and vague in describing what was going on. I had so much turmoil within me that even the forums had become a negative place. But I'm back, and Lord willing to stay.

So I wanted to share with you all a few thoughts that crossed my mind while reading all these replies. First there are many.. so It will take me time to go through them again and really respond to everything and everyone on an individual and person a level but ill touch on what really stuck out to me. My thoughts are very scrambled so I apologize ahead of time if their exists no form of structure to my comming thoughts.

First, I don't like the idea of "distracting" myself to avoid lustful pulls and temptations of the flesh. I believe, God is big enough that if He wants me to conquor this beast that I won't need to "distract" myself to get around it. I'll be able to look the beast in the eyes, to look temptation down the barrel of a gun and not be shaken. I won't be tempted to lust because that is how powerful God is.

This distraction of myself feels like a bandage to the problem. What happens when the distraction ends? I am faced again with the same problem I was in before, temptation and overcome by it, because the distraction simply hid the real problem. I can do everything I want to the outside world to make it go away. Even lock myself in the darkest of rooms with nothing safe my own thoughts and even then, my thoughts would betray me. For the problem is not outside in the world, but rather inside this fleshy body.

Secondly, the marriage idea. Again, another bandage to a festuring wound merely masking the problem and not removing it. Marriage is not an option for many reasons. The biggest reason being is that I am way way to different from most girls my age that I would end up scaring them away with how deeply devoted and passionate I am towards the Lord inside, on that inner quite level. I have to turn my back on the Lord to fit in with just about anyone my age. Very few people would see who I am and accept it. Woman just aren't ready for the type of guy I am. Woman my age want to party, woman my age they want to be carnal like men my age. They want to fullfill the desires of the flesh in every mannor just like any other guy out there. Even myself in times of temptation and little protection from the Lord. My generation cares little for God, even those proclaiming our Saviour are nothing like me. Even the "christian" woman. They praise Him one moment and blaspheme Him the next. Either in word or deed, feeling no remorse if any for their actions. Christians uplift themselves into the heavens with their self righteous Holier-than-thou attitude and would have nothing with me if they knew what I truly believed.

Another huge reason against marriage is I am not ready to be the man I have to be, the man of God I want to be and need to be for marriage.

As you can see, i don't like the bandage approaches to this situation.

I also know I don't want to struggle with this into my 30's, and 40's and 50's. I hate seeing even my own father lust after woman and say things about them I wish I had never heard. I don't want to be that man when i'm his age nor when i'm married.

Sexual references and comments towarsd women as nothing but sex objects is EVERYWHERE. Distracting myself is not possible even if I tried. It's on facebook, its in games, its in music, its on t.v., its in movies, it's in books, woman promote it, men promote it, SEX SEX SEX. Theirs no escape... but I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT MAN, I DON'T WANT TO LUST ANYMORE AFTER ANY WOMAN. I WANT TO SEE MY WIFE ONE DAY AND ONLY HER. I'm TIRED OF THIS! I've had it! Is this trully the fate for men, to SUFFER this move destructive sin for all teh days of our lives? Why? Why can't I be 22 and not lust after woman any more? Whats wrong with that...

And if you're concerned for me.. don't be, i'm not on the verge of losing my faith. Infact, it's never been stronger, but... i HATE this sin. I don't like this flesh... and I really don't like these hormones.. -.-

Anyway, this was long winded and probably poorly constructed manifestation of my thoughts and state of mind. Ill try and re-read these posts again and address more specific points, I know many were made.

Thanks again for all the encouragement, the versus of scripture, they work miracles, they really do.

God bless.

Kindly,

Alex

[Linny]

Alex, I am so happy to see you here again! 

I've watched my dear husband deal with these issues during our marriage and I know what a strong pull it has on all you brothers. I feel for you. And although he struggles as you all do, just a note of encouragement, he married me at age 27 after having kept himself for his wife. That is practically a miracle having grown up in the pre-aids era of promiscuity as we did.

And since I did not do my part to help when I was in my youth, I am teaching my daughters that the reason we dress modestly is to help you guys out as much as we can.

Blessings, Lin

[Dennis Vogel]

I also know I don't want to struggle with this into my 30's, and 40's and 50's. I hate seeing even my own father lust after woman and say things about them I wish I had never heard. I don't want to be that man when i'm his age nor when i'm married.

Rom 3:9  What then? are we better than they? No, in no wise: for we have before proved both Jews and Gentiles, that they are all under sin;

Rom 3:10  As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:

Rom 3:11  There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God.

Rom 3:12  They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.

Be grateful that you will have more respect for women as you grow older and hopefully will not repeat the sins your father made. But it's unlikely God will remove what's in your heart for awhile. Paul was not granted a clean heart.

Rom 7:24  O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

Rom 7:25  I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

[Kat]

Well Alex, I'm impressed with your reply. You have not lost any of your vigor for this truth, but you said "it's never been stronger," i can tell! You are a very unusual young man to feel the way that you do and I know that you know that.

I pray that you will continue to desire to obey Him above all things. He sees you in your struggles and your not giving up is important. He knows your weaknesses, after all He made you that way.

mercy, peace and love
Kat

[lilitalienboi16]

Dennis you've put it into an interesting perspective. You're right, I should be thankful and not boast or think I am better. Believe me... I do not. It's hard to think you're better when you can see that beam in your eye and how trully massive it is. You said in your earlier responce that woman do not understand this pull of the flesh for men and that certain animals KILL for the right to reproduce with other females and that we being no different then animals struggle with the same powerfull natural pull. You really hit the nail on the head with that post in my opinion. It is THAT powerful and by looking at men around me, men that have come before me, men older then me.. it scares me... I see EVERY MAN struggling with this well into his old age. I Just wish It didn't have to be that way...

Rom 7:25  I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin

How exactly does one do this? How do I serve the law of God with my mind when at times my very own thoughts betray me to lust and do things I don't want to? You said thats the answer to this and if this is how it needs to be for now then i'd atleast like to be able to to have peace of mind knowing I serve the law of God with my mind.

[lilitalienboi16]

Dear Lin,

Thank you for the warm welcome! Thank you for the encouragement. I know I'm not alone in this! But this is also my biggest fault. In no other sin have I taken advantage of our Lords love and grace and mercy towards me then in this and it hurts me, it discusts me and I'm tired of it. As paul put it, "O wretched man that I am..."

Your husband is blessed to have you stand by him through this and support him. I could only imagine this if it were me, to be married and still being pulled every way by this beast and the pain it could cause on my wife. I've' seen what it does to marriages, i've seen what it does to couples, i've seen what it does to a man. Stay strong Lin! Your husband is trully blessed to have your support, I pray He is free'd from that bondage completely one day.

[lilitalienboi16]

Well Alex, I'm impressed with your reply. You have not lost any of your vigor for this truth, but you said "it's never been stronger," i can tell! You are a very unusual young man to feel the way that you do and I know that you know that.

I pray that you will continue to desire to obey Him above all things. He sees you in your struggles and your not giving up is important. He knows your weaknesses, after all He made you that way.

mercy, peace and love
Kat

Thank you Kat, i guess there exists no simple answer to this other then to wait on the Lord. I suppose I'll wait... impatiently as always hehe.

[lilitalienboi16]

I wanted to personally say Helllo to Arc! I've missed your amazing posts of wisdom and I was blessed to read through it all! So /wave

G.driggs, thank you for welcoming me back so warmly! Thank you for sharing rays thoughts and wisdom on the issue. I do appreciate the emails. It was a blessing to read your post and I will read them again. Sames goes for arcs posts as well.

Godisgracious, Quite a name and indeed He is! THank you for sharing your story of personal struggle, i know i'm not alone and it's nice to be reminded of that. This journey can feel so lonely sometimes. You seeem very blessed to have made such great progress in your life and well, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad to be here.

Rene and marques thank you both! Marques your post was also a blessing.

I will have to re-read all these as this is a daily struggle within.

Kat, as you said, I won't be giving in, I won't give up! The Lord made me to stubborn to give up! 

Thank you for the prayers.

God bless you all!
Alex

[Marky Mark]

Hi Alex.Good to have you back.

  Your desire not to sin is something that all of us would like to kill in ourselves,but,since God created us in a weakened state, us sinning machines can only rely on our God to remedy that condition of our carnal heart.That in and of itself is a good thing, because we can then come to a point in our lives when the sin that we commit starts to make a change within,for the better,and we no longer desire to be in a state of sin and to dwell in the unrighteousness of our choices. That then can bring about the desire[from God] to not want to commit sinful desires of a fleshy heart and ultimately bring us to our knees in a way to worship and obey our Loving Lord. After all, are we not here to learn that the flesh profits nothing and that Spirit is life. I'll tell you what,turning from our sinful nature and wanting to do what is right is no easy task,it takes Christ in us,giving us what we need Spiritually in order to succeed in things Spiritual. If any one of us thinks that this can be done from within our own carnality,well, good luck on that one.
 
God is responsible for His creation and the outcome of it. Don't beat yourself up to much over the condition that God has put you in,because,all that we must go through is for the good of Him that controls and desires of His own good will and unending Love for His creation. Just like some people would like to have us believe that a ten second sinners prayer will bring about salvation without God first doing the calling, and the dragging, and the chastising, not to mention the time needed to have His creation work out the details in ones own heart and mind,that will in turn,through Him,give us the desire to want to repent and do the right thing. It is a life long process that will not end until we are created anew in Spiritual bodies that are not corrupt and dying.When Jesus comes and lives in us as the Comforter that He is, then we can begin to die to self and thank God for it. His Love for us will not fail.

In the mean time all we can do is fight the good fight and call on our Loving Father in Heaven and ask and pray that His will be done so that our progression in our Spiritual walk,here on this earth,at this time,can and will proclaim His victory by how the Fruits of the Spirit are working within ourselves to want to do what is right, just as our Lord has intended from the beginning,that being,His righteous desires,not our sinful ones.Ask God in prayer like you mean it and mean it when you ask for it and the Holy Spirit will not fail you.


Peace...Mark

[Dennis Vogel]

Rom 7:25  I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin

How exactly does one do this? How do I serve the law of God with my mind when at times my very own thoughts betray me to lust and do things I don't want to? You said thats the answer to this and if this is how it needs to be for now then i'd atleast like to be able to to have peace of mind knowing I serve the law of God with my mind.

Mat 26:41  Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

You want to do good, that's serving with your mind. The flesh part you already get.

[lilitalienboi16]

Mark thank you! Dennis thanks again!

God bless everyone for taking the time to hear me out! I appreciate it. I'm off to fight that good fight... and lose. LOL.

Kindly,

Alex

P.S. Grapehound, I'm completely sorry for mixing you up in my last post with "Godisgracious." It was you I was referencing with the post about sharing your personal struggle in the matter. Thank you for doing so! I feel silly now.. having mixed up your names >.>

[Deborah-Leigh]

I wanted to personally say Helllo to Arc! I've missed your amazing posts of wisdom and I was blessed to read through it all! So /wave

Hey ALEX

Thank you! ...a big wave back to you...not a Tsunami wave, a wave of blessing  to you dear brother!

I was so delighted to read your rendition of how you'd like to face off evil. ....not ducking or hiding but eye to eye...not an eye for an eye ...but a stare down in fullest recognition of what evil is... (Gen 3:22  And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: )...THE PLAN...THE PURPOSE of GOD burns in you dear brother to recieve knowledge of the foe and fullest insight of Your God!  Wonderful! The fire is good for you! It is bringing out the BEST of the Spirit of Your Lord and mine, Your King and ours, into focus....manifestation....

I see Father is giving you the desires of your heart to please HIM. Php 2:13 For it is God Who Works in you, both to WILL and to DO of His Good Pleasure

First things ARE first...the Will to do ...then the accomplishment!

Blessings to you brother...deep, abiding, enhancing, enlightening blessings to you...in patience, perseverance ~ to the end.

Your sister Deborah

[grapehound]

Amen Deborah! 

Dear Brother Alex,
No apology needed! I knew it was a simple mistake, no worries. 
For my part, I welcomed you, rather than welcoming you back! So we're even! 

Yes, I think Dennis nailed it too!

Every Blessing

Grape

[G. Driggs]

It is THAT powerful and by looking at men around me, men that have come before me, men older then me.. it scares me... I see EVERY MAN struggling with this well into his old age. I Just wish It didn't have to be that way..

Firstly I just want to tell you that I very much appreciate this topic you started Alex, it is a blessing. Your quote above reminded me when Ray talked about the goodness of God which leads us to repentance, and also how Paul boasted in his weakness because then he was strong. How else will we learn to become totally dependent on God? So these verses are just as much for me as anyone else.

2Co 11:30 If I must boast, I will be boasting in that which is of my weakness.

2Co 12:9  And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2Co 12:10  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Rom 2:4  Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?

This tells me it has to be the way it is, so we learn to totally depend on God, but I think you know that already. So like I said this is more for me than anyone else, I really needed it. If it helps you or anyone else, that is a plus.

Peace & Discernment to you dear brother

G.Driggs

p.s. Thanks ALL for the awesome replies, you guys and gals rock!

[Joel]

Hi Alex
I know all to well where you are coming from, but take heart in these words.

Hebrews 5:7-9
7-In the days of his flesh[Jesus] offered up definite, special petitions [for that which He not only wanted but needed], and supplications, with strong crying and tears, to Him Who was [always] able to save Him (out) from death, and He was heard because of His reverence toward God- His godly fear, His piety [that is, in that He shrank from the horrors of seperation from the presence of the Father].
8-Although He was a Son, HE LEARNED [ACTIVE, SPECIAL] OBEDIENCE THROUGH WHAT HE SUFFERED;
9-And [His complete experience] making Him perfect [in equipment], He became the Author and source of eternal salvation to those who give heed and obey Him,

He knows where we came from, where we are now, and where we need to be in the future.
In the hands of the Master Potter.

Joel

[grapehound]

Thanks George and Joel for those inspired posts.
Very edifying and a geat blessing.

Grape

[margo]

Alex,
You made me cry we you said,"One day I want to see my wife and only her".  You are a blessing brother.  That sounds like what our Lord says about us.  I can sure see the work the Lord is doing in you.  Amen.

Blessings,
Margo

[lilitalienboi16]

It is THAT powerful and by looking at men around me, men that have come before me, men older then me.. it scares me... I see EVERY MAN struggling with this well into his old age. I Just wish It didn't have to be that way..

Firstly I just want to tell you that I very much appreciate this topic you started Alex, it is a blessing. Your quote above reminded me when Ray talked about the goodness of God which leads us to repentance, and also how Paul boasted in his weakness because then he was strong. How else will we learn to become totally dependent on God? So these verses are just as much for me as anyone else.

2Co 11:30 If I must boast, I will be boasting in that which is of my weakness.

2Co 12:9  And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2Co 12:10  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Rom 2:4  Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?

This tells me it has to be the way it is, so we learn to totally depend on God, but I think you know that already. So like I said this is more for me than anyone else, I really needed it. If it helps you or anyone else, that is a plus.

Peace & Discernment to you dear brother

G.Driggs

p.s. Thanks ALL for the awesome replies, you guys and gals rock!

Whether it was for you, or for all of us here, i cerftainly appreciate the wisdom. I'm learning to find joy in my infirmities and I too have truly experienced the fact that when I am weak , that is when God is trully powerful in me! It's amazing.

Thank you driggs, those scriptures were perfect!

[lilitalienboi16]

Samson, I almost neglected you! I'm so sorry but believe it or not, your post was one that stood out the most to me! Your post was so constructive and edifying. I feel horrible for having forgotten you! Honestly, even though marriage is not an option, i am so thankful for your constructive approach to the matter in trying to help me by sharing various possible options! You are a blessing samson, your wisdom and control in what you say shines through in your post! Thank you brother!!!

God bless

Alex <3

[arion]

Alex,

I wish I could tell you that when your in the 30's or 40's that you will totally overcome the desires of the flesh in this area.  If you figure out how to do it then let the rest of us know.  I'm almost 50 now and am very grateful to the Lord that as you get older the testosterone levels begin to decrease.  I wish I could say I'm not engaging in certain activities very often because I'm more saintly but I'm afraid it's because the 'desires of the flesh' are lessened with age.  It will get better but it's a long and slow process.  God created us like this and he has a purpose behind it all.  If I tried to count all the times I loathed myself and promised God to do better.....well, I don't think I could count that high.  Even the well meaning advice that I received or ideas I came up with to combat this area fell woefully short.  I worked myself hard, went to bed tired, stayed busy in other activities, so on and so forth and I might be distracted for a few days but that was about all.  You can't counsel a demon or cast out the flesh and I tried to cast out the flesh many times to no avail.  Some things God has designed that we just have to walk through and have to learn by experience and for most of us this area is one of those things.  When I was a young man the older men didn't really have any meaningful advice either.  We do know what your going through and it will get better but it's a long and slow drag.  God is using this to do a work in you as he is the rest of us but when we are in the middle of it that doesn't seem like much of a comfort.  Just keep on keeping on brother.