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Author Topic: question about marriage  (Read 6517 times)

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stello

  • Guest
question about marriage
« on: October 29, 2010, 04:25:04 PM »

Hello everyone,       
                   I'm new here and just wanted to say hi and ask a question of i may. Sorry if this has been asked already.

Do we a choice with regards to who we marry? or does GOD choose someone  for us. Thanks to anyone who can shed some light
on this question.

GOD bless

Sterling
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grapehound

  • Guest
Re: question about marriage
« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2010, 05:03:32 PM »

 Hi Sterling , welcome to the forum.
Ray has done an extensive work on "The Myth of Free Will" in the LOF series.
BT main page.

Hope this helps

Grape
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Samson

  • Guest
Re: question about marriage
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2010, 05:14:18 PM »

Hello everyone,       
                   I'm new here and just wanted to say hi and ask a question of i may. Sorry if this has been asked already.

Do we a choice with regards to who we marry? or does GOD choose someone  for us. Thanks to anyone who can shed some light
on this question.

GOD bless

Sterling

Hello Sterling,

We make Our own choices and are accountable for those choices. However, all of Our choices are made based on prior causes whether internal or external. Even Cats make choices, I know that mine do. Although we are accountable for Our choices, God is responsible for the choices we make, because He made us the way we are and provided the circumstances that cause us to make a particular choice.

Physical attraction, compatibility, loneliness, Family influence, Cultural aspects, Personality and personal interests might be some of the causes that influence the choice we might make in selecting a Marriage Mate, I'm sure there are others. It was predetermined by God what choice we will ultimately make in any given situation, but since we don't know the end from the beginning of any matter, like God does, we still have to make a choice. Even choosing to do nothing is still a choice.

Below are some excerpts of an Email Answer of Rays(Are we Puppets)

By your very existence, you are FORCED to make hundreds of choices daily and live your life. Making choices and living your life brings knowledge, experience, and either builds or sometimes destroy traits of character. God is accomplishing is plan in humanity whether they know or understand what He is doing of not, and most of course, do not know or understand. It is a great privilege to know and understand the plan of God, precious few do. Understanding God's sovereignty PROVES to us that EVERYTHING is going to turn out okay, not only for us, but for the whole creation. What greater hope could there ever be than THIS?

Now I am sorry that it just DESTROYS one's very emotional makeup and false human security to learn that God is greater than puny man. Man wants to be his own god. Man wants to be in charge of his own destiny. If that were true, then we would all end up in the gutter. Man is not strong enough to do and live rightly. And those who do live a moderately righteous life, only do so because God has enabled them to do so. EVERY GOOD GIFT COMES FROM ABOVE, FROM THE FATHER OF LIGHTS, James tells us.

People think that when they do something good, that they did it ALL ON THEIR OWN, and are to be congratulated. Likewise when people do something evil, that they also did it all on their own, and are to be condemned.  People do things according to what circumstances CAUSE THEM TO DO. That does not make us puppets. My no. We think too highly of ourselves if we think we are puppets--we are but A LUMP OF CLAY in the Potter's hands. The Potter being God.

Hope This Helps, Samson.
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stello

  • Guest
Re: question about marriage
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2010, 05:25:52 PM »

Thank you both for your replies!!! i'm glad GOD is in total control!!!! cause i have no clue lol.
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grapehound

  • Guest
Re: question about marriage
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2010, 05:36:59 PM »

Luv that attitude Sterling!  ;D ;D

Rock on Bro' !  8)
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Marky Mark

  • Guest
Re: question about marriage
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2010, 05:39:59 PM »

Let the Word of God give comfort in knowing that all is of Him.


Psa 139:16 Your eyes saw my embryo, And my days, all of them were written upon Your scroll; The days were formed When there was not one of them.

Php 2:13  For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.

Eph 1:11  In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:

Jer 10:23  O Lord, I am conscious that a man's way is not in himself: man has no power of guiding his steps.

Rom 8:28 Now we are aware that God is working all together for the good of those who are loving God, who are called according to the purpose"



Peace...Mark
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grapehound

  • Guest
Re: question about marriage
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2010, 05:48:10 PM »

Amen Mark, Thanks Bro'
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santikos

  • Guest
Re: question about marriage
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2010, 05:49:06 PM »

Thank you both for your replies!!! i'm glad GOD is in total control!!!! cause i have no clue lol.

i am glad he is in total control as well. welcome stello
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acomplishedartis

  • Guest
Re: question about marriage
« Reply #8 on: November 01, 2010, 04:07:45 AM »


Physical attraction, compatibility, loneliness, Family influence, Cultural aspects, Personality and personal interests might be some of the causes that influence the choice we might make in selecting a Marriage Mate, I'm sure there are others. It was predetermined by God what choice we will ultimately make in any given situation, but since we don't know the end from the beginning of any matter, like God does, we still have to make a choice. Even choosing to do nothing is still a choice.

Yes there is others and even betters.
What about, -because these world at these time of history might be too dark and dangerous to stay by our selfs, -Because two can help each other mutually, -For companionship and spiritual connection (if you have been blessed enough to find real spiritual conection),, These sounds like very  good reasons. 
And then I was wondering, with what else as this good, these could be compared with? Probably a bouch of companionship and spirituals conections and a bounch of mutual encourage, Was these not what Paul had with the people he used t write with? And It is kind of what these forum is about, but then still, I guess we need have a balance between online communication and off-line communication.

      I sometimes wonder about the first communities trying to follow Jesus teachings while living toguether at one specific location, there was people there who was married and on many others different stages of their life. What a good eviroment for faster spiritual grow and inspiration between the members. I am sure they used to sing and play instruments often. I remember somewhere where it says; the ones who are married as if they where not. They where all eating often toguether while making comments and memories regarding their very same Creator or simply having fun in the table.
 

 
« Last Edit: September 09, 2019, 11:10:59 PM by moshe »
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Samson

  • Guest
Re: question about marriage
« Reply #9 on: November 01, 2010, 06:05:46 PM »


Physical attraction, compatibility, loneliness, Family influence, Cultural aspects, Personality and personal interests might be some of the causes that influence the choice we might make in selecting a Marriage Mate, I'm sure there are others. It was predetermined by God what choice we will ultimately make in any given situation, but since we don't know the end from the beginning of any matter, like God does, we still have to make a choice. Even choosing to do nothing is still a choice.

Yes there is others and even betters.
What about, -because these world at these time of history might be too dark and dangerous to stay by our selfs, -Because two can help each other mutually, -For companionship and spiritual connection (if you have been blessed enough to find real spiritual conection),, These sounds like very  good reasons. 
And then I was wondering, with what else as this good, these could be compared with? Probably a bouch of companionship and spirituals conections and a bounch of mutual encourage, Was these not what Paul had with the people he used t write with? And It is kind of what these forum is about, but then still, I guess we need have a balance between online communication and off-line communication.

      I sometimes wonder about the first communities trying to follow Jesus teachings while living toguether at one specific location, there was people there who was married and on many others different stages of their life. What a good eviroment for faster spiritual grow and inspiration between the members. I am sure they used to sing and play instruments often. I remember somewhere where it says; the ones who are married as if they where not. They where all eating often toguether while making comments and memories regarding their very same Creator or simply having fun in the table.
 

Do we have a choice with regards to who we take to the marriege embasy and firm a paper with and probably interchange rings?

I will chose it someday,  hopefully with out games and straight into her face;  Hey how are you doing?,  would you.. in a year or two??

of course based, if it ever happen, it would be based in all the million choices that God have put behind me, including these post. (but hopefully, God willing, familys influences, lame cultural aspects, relative aspects of personality and my appeal for pure external beauty atraction doesn't stay in the way). 
 


I didn't mention anything related to Spiritual connection, not that it isn't something to hope for in selection of a Marriage Mate, however, a person could be "Unevenly Yoked," even in a situation where there is  Spiritual compatibility(Same Beliefs, etc). This was the case for Me in past Marriages, where in other areas, specifically and foremost "Personality incompatibility" was the major problem and the Marriage became intolerable, We were unevenly yoked. Ray has mentioned that Marriages are not primarily Spiritual, at least initially, but are Carnal and don't necessarily involve Love. Thankfully for me, that's not the case. I value personality compatibility as foremost in making a selection. This mindset is the result of much cause/effect from my many experiences in this area(Marriage).

         Excerpts from Ray's Paper "Unevenly Yoked."

    "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, says the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty" (II Cor. 6:14-18).

The phrase "unequally yoked together" is the translation of just one Greek word, heterozugeo, which is a compound word that means, "to yoke up differently; to associate discordantly; unequally yoke together." It is used but this one time in the Bible.

have personally seen marriages between a believer and a non-believer that were more loving and equally yoked than some marriages between two believers. So we need to pay close attention to ALL the words of these profound Scriptures.

We can advise and try to help people see different aspects of a situation. We can relay our own personal knowledge of such things. But we should not get involved in being overly righteous in these matters lest we be guilty of "forbidding to marry" (I Tim. 4:3), which is a doctrine of demons (Verse 1).

The key is becoming "unequally yoked." And that can mean marriage, but it can also mean which church one attends; of which clubs one is a member; which establishments one goes to for entertainment; which TV shows become a regular habit; with whom one becomes business partners; Etc.

Never become unequally yoked with anyone, and always avoid: "unrighteousness, darkness, Belial [an epithet of Satan], infidels, and idols."

We've all seen matches made in heaven that didn't work out, and conversely, we've seen marriages doomed to failure from day one, that are still going strong (or maybe not so strong, but still going, nonetheless) after 30 and 40 years. Only God knows for sure how marriages will turn out. Birds of a feather flock together, but then again opposites attract. Marriage is an area best left up to the bride and the groom.

           I thought this was an excellent paper, wish it was available to me twenty years ago, but it wasn't God's plan for me, glad I'm learning from it now. Samson.
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