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great big orphanage

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lostANDfound:
just read this and thought of you gary:

from an email to ray called Overcoming

Dear Chris:

Yes, "been there; done that."  You can't of yourself get yourself out of your sin and misery.  You desire it, but you will not find the strenght in yourself to do it.  God brings all of His chosen elect to the place in their life where they hate life; they hate themselves; and often hate God.  When you get that low and are so very thoroughly convinced that you can and will never overcome you most horrible sins, that is when God will come to your rescue.  You must be convinced that if you are saved from yourself and your sins, that it was God that did it and not you. I am convinced of that in my life. If God is choosing you, then it will also happen in your life.  Just keep praying and obeying until God gives you the victory over yourself and your sin. I will pray for you.

God be with you,

Ray

(i added the underlining and bolding)
and i know that's not exactly your situation just thought it was interesting!

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