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Author Topic: But you don't look sick  (Read 4989 times)

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G. Driggs

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But you don't look sick
« on: March 04, 2011, 11:59:27 AM »

Hi all. I wanted to share some articles I came across regarding people who are sick but don't look it. I started this search mostly for myself because I often hear people say how good Ray looks. I'm very ashamed to say hearing this caused me to doubt. So I thought I should educate myself. So I hope this helps someone out there as much as it has helped me.

Here is a short copy and paste from an article @ http://www.publichealthalert.org/Articles/susanwilliams/10%20commandments.html

I hope you will read it all.

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But You Don’t LOOK Sick... 10 Commandments For Interacting With The Chronically Ill


Ten Commandments.

1. Thou Shalt Not Imply That We Are Not Truly Ill.

You will not convince us otherwise with remarks such as, “You LOOK good,” or “But you don’t LOOK sick.” Even if you meant them as compliments, we perceive those kind of statements as insults because they imply that you do not believe us.

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Here is another about a woman who has had juvenile arthritis since she was a teen.

 http://midatlanticarthritis.wordpress.com/2010/07/28/oldies-but-goodies-you-dont-look-sick-the-face-of-invisible-illness-arthritis-sure-aint-pretty-by-ashley-boynes/

What I do ask in writing this, is for everyone to get past your perceptions of what a sick person should or shouldn’t be, do, look, say or feel.The same illness might affect me far less than someone else who has it, or vice versa. One day I may be a seemingly healthy, happy-go-lucky 25-year-old who is able to maintain a “normal” life – but the next day, I may be worried sick (pardon the pun) because I can’t eat or sleep, my medications may be giving me side effects, and the pain and lack of energy may be too much to bear. I might not be in a good mood, or feel much like talking or hanging out, even when I’m trying to put on a strong, positive, and happy front.

I literally may not be able to physically do the same things you can do, even if it seems to be a simple and mundane task. You should never judge others on any level, and should also keep in mind that some illnesses and disabilities are pretty “well-hidden,” especially for those of us who do try to maintain as “normal” a life as humanly possible.

I like a quote that I came across: “Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”

You may never know what excruciating path someone had to take to get to where they are, or what internal struggles they bear each day. So whether it is cancer, depression, or chronic fatigue syndrome; or whether it is a learning disability or another invisible handicap – never judge. Don’t be quick to jump to conclusions, for someone may be having the worst day of his or her life, and facing private battles that you would never see on the surface – whether health-related or otherwise.
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Here is one more about prostate cancer statistics.

@ http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/type/prostate-cancer/treatment/statistics-and-outlook-for-prostate-cancer

Gleason grade or score
With prostate cancer, your outlook also depends on how the cells look under a microscope. This is called the grade of your cancer. In prostate cancer, this is recorded as your Gleason score. A Gleason score of between 2 and 6 is a low grade prostate cancer. It is likely to grow very slowly. A Gleason score of 7 is an intermediate grade that will grow at a moderate rate. A Gleason score of 8 to 10 is a high grade cancer that is likely to grow more quickly.

If your Gleason score is low and you are older or have early stage disease your doctor is likely to suggest watching and waiting (also called active monitoring). This is because your cancer may not spread or cause any trouble. If you have a high Gleason score, are younger or have higher stage disease your doctor is more likely to suggest you have active treatment such as surgery or radiotherapy.

Stage 4
In about 20 to 30 out of every 100 men (20 to 30%) the cancer has spread to another part of their body when they are diagnosed with prostate cancer. This advanced disease is called stage 4 prostate cancer. About 1 in 3 men with advanced prostate cancer (30%) will live for at least 5 years after they are diagnosed. Again, this is a relative statistic. So it is only related to prostate cancer, and not the risk of dying from other causes. Many men with prostate cancer are older and the disease can be very slow to develop, so it may not end up affecting their life span.
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I just want to add this has been an answer to my prayers. I have struggled with this for some time but now I can have sympathy instead of doubt.

Please read the articles in their entirety, some very good info there.

This is for all you out there who are ill in some way but otherwise might look "healthy".

Peace,

G. Driggs

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cjwood

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Re: But you don't look sick
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2011, 12:19:51 AM »

i am one of those such people g. driggs, and, i want to say thank you for your sweet and caring heart.   :)  i learned much from the info you provided.

claudia
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G. Driggs

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Re: But you don't look sick
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2011, 04:46:34 PM »

Your very welcome cj and bob, and thank you for reading.

The lack of knowledge I had in these matters almost gave me an excuse to give up. This verse rings truer and louder than before.

Hsa 4:6   My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.


G.Driggs
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Revilonivek

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Re: But you don't look sick
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2011, 06:10:06 PM »

yup!

I have dealt  plenty of times with people who have preconceived notions about deaf people. I completely understand where you are coming from.

even I can understand sick people,  just because you are sick, doesn't mean you can't lead a healthy life. Its the same thing with, just because you are deaf, doesn't mean you can't drive and so on.

People can be mean even if they don't mean to.  People say things like that when they don't have the knowledge about the condition.  They try to be nice, but they just need to fine tune their sensitivity when talking to people with conditions they don't understand. does that make sense?

You're a good friend, Drigg. I am sure Ray appreciates what you  did.

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Dianne

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Re: But you don't look sick
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2011, 02:13:42 AM »

Drigg,
Thank you for this post. I have been ill for a few years now and I know where you are coming from! If you met me on some days I wouldn't be able to convince you that anything at all was wrong with me. But then maybe even the next day you would be able to tell immediately that something is wrong with me. Sometimes even members of my own family don't seem to understand even though they have watched me going through this illness. I have known a number of people who were very ill but one could not tell by just looking at them.
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judith collier

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Re: But you don't look sick
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2011, 07:27:30 PM »

G. Driggs, wish everybody could read this. It gets so frustrating, reminding people makes you feel like you are asking for sympathy. I've got to the point I  just say i feel like hell.  Very few really want to know how you are. Then like you said, they say, "well you look good" I have just about enough grace to say, 'thank you"
judy
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