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Inthewilderness:
Hi everyone.  I've been here before and I missed it, so I came back.  I just wanted to say hello.  I feel like the Isrealites who refused to enter the Promised Land because of their fear, and I am wandering in the wilderness of deception.  I don't want to be there, but I am too scared to stand up to the people in my life that I love.   So, I do my duties and know in my heart what's true, but feel so alone.  I pray that one day I am able to break free of the prison I am in.  But for now, I wait.  I would come here sometimes and read, and wish I could comment on one thing or another.  Now I have come back, and even that is a secret, despite my desire to try to stay away because I do not want to be deceptive.  I hate lying.  And yet, I think I am doing alot of that, and even if it's not balatant, it's in my heart. I see what I think it is that God is doing with this place in which we live and die, and I want so badly to believe it is really true.  That He is going to make every single thing he ever created all new.  Where I go, everyone believes that some things(people)  will be eternally "not new", and will never have the chance to be made new.  I don't want to believe that God created everything, only to to eternally, excrutiatingly curse and afflict at least half, if not more of it.

I know, in the flesh, absolutely no one who sees all of creation as being rescued and fixed.  I know absolutely no one who believes that God planned everything to be just the way it is for an ultimate purpose of teaching, training, birthing, everything new.  That is why I had to come back.  Even if it is under cover. :'(  I don't want it to be.  I want to shout it from the housetops, that God is making everything beautiful in His time.  Knowing that changes the way I work.  Knowing that changes the way I think, and act, and live.  

But, I am physically alone in this, which I think is what causes my doubts.  To try to become not alone in this really isn't up to me is it?  It doesn't make any sense to me how something so absolutely miraculously wonderful,  could be so dividing and hurtful when it should bring joy and hope to people!  I think that is my biggest struggle.

In any event, I am glad to be back and I am hoping to stay as long as I can.  My prayer is for the one person in my life that matters most to me to be able to see what I see.  I pray for that, for him, and hope and pray his eyes and ears are opened.  Thanks for praying with me.  :'( :)

Beth    

Inthewilderness:
Hello Grace,
   Strangely, or maybe not,  ;) I was just reading your thread about "aion"  I have struggled with that very same thing.  In fact, that and the passage in luke about Lazarus and the rich man both have had me stumped.  But in all honesty, there is SO much more in what I read in the scriptures that makes it sound like it's all going to be good in the end, that I have struggled less and less over those things recently.  I continue to pursue truth and there is just NO going back to anything else.  It's impossible for me to do so, even though I am surrounded by the "untruth"  in my life with my loved ones. 

Nice to meet you.  :)  "See"  you around.

daywalker:

Hello Beth, and welcome back!

I understand your feeling of being lonely in the sense that not many people around you believe that God truly is in control and is willing to one day reconcile all of us to Him in harmony, etc., etc. Sometimes it can be overwhelming having such a strong desire to spread the Good News, but knowing that most people just don't want to hear about it. My advice is don't beat yourself up about remaining "in secret". If God has something to say to someone through your mouth then rest assured He will do so. There's a time to shout from the rooftops and there's a time to not "give dogs what is holy...lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you." (Matt 7:6). We all have plenty of obstacles to leap on this long hard road of life; no need to make it harder on ourselves than it already is. Just know that God is always with you, even when it feels like you're alone; and just know that we @ this forum are also here for you.

Christopher

Kat:

Hi Beth,

So glad you came back to us  :)
There is a reason why God keeps bringing you back here, you want to be with people that you have something in common with, the truth! So continue to come and drink in of the refreshing living water that you need!

Well if your husband is not receptive to this truth, then do not cast your pearls where they cannot be recieved. Just hold your peace with him and God will bring your him along in His good time, there is no need for you to push this truth on him and risk him turning on you.

Mat 7:6  "Do not give dogs what is holy; and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under foot and turn to attack you.

I hope you will continue to come here and build some strength in being among like minded believers.

Heb 12:1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
v. 2  looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith...

Hang in there, you are out of the wilderness now and among friends  :)

mercy, peace and love
Kat

Dave in Tenn:
Hi Beth.  There's hardly been a day go by that I haven't had a thought about you.  My thoughts are very much as Kat shared.

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