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Life, whats the point?

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daywalker:

--- Quote from: lilitalienboi16 on April 20, 2011, 03:41:28 AM ---I feel that, the high that comes from finding love and knowing love out weighs everything I've ever done. I've found that having a bond that words could not describe between a lover, between friends, between family is just so much greater than what I do in my everyday life and it makes me question everything. I can honestly say i've never learned anything, not one thing in school that I could say has improved my life or given me some sort of tool that I am grateful for. Everything I've ever learned that has caused me to cherish life and to grow as a person, to wonder about the universe and marvel at everything I know has been through life lessons. "Street smart" I suppose you could say? This increasing difficult semester has caused me to realize that I don't think I want to go through med school. I just don't care enough to want to put myself through that for knowledge that in my opinion is not worth its price. I've just realized I don't care about anything much anymore other than "Street smarts." So i'm asking you, whats the point of it all? Why does this life feel like almost nothing matter other than love? Why does a new bond of love with someone feel so much stronger and important than all the education in the world? It just makes me feel like everything i've done with my life for the past 18 years has been a waste of time. I mean, I'm thankful for the ability to speak English, to do math etc.. but their comes a point where the difficulty far outweigh its practical use or purpose.  In my opinion, I find it more valuable to be able to play guitar and sing a beautiful song from the heart than to be able to perform an organic chemistry synthesis problem properly. To be able to express oneself artistically. To be carefree and happy over being stressed and paniced because of exams and low grades. To be happy with those you have near and dear to you. So whats the point of it all, if everything that matters in life doesn't cost you a penny, doesn't cost you 18 years of education. Whats it all for? What do you do with your time? I guess I just can't find a reason for my life, a purpose, because everything I want is here and everything i'm chasing after doesn't really matter to me at all.

I know i've left this rather open ended.. partly because I Just want to hear how people feel and what people have to say about this. I know i'm not the only one whose felt this way or probably still does feel this way. Please don't be shy, share with me your experiences. I need to hear this.

--- End quote ---


"Open ended" indeed. It seems to me there's a lot more going on than what little you shared. True also you are "not the only one whose felt this way" because I have felt similarly at times.

You say that "i've never learned anything, not one thing in school that I could say has improved my life or given me some sort of tool that I am grateful for".... I highly doubt that. Sounds like you are blinded by frustration and I get that. Should you change your mind and decide to go through med school, you could potentially be given the ability to SAVE people from death and disease! What better way to show someone LOVE? The most beautiful song in the world can't cure a disease!

What you do with your life is between you and God. But I sincerely hope you don't turn down med school because you think that no good can come out of it. You'll need a better reason than that. I'm a huge fan of the guitar, but I can't see how you can say a song is more valuable than a doctor curing someone from cancer, or some other fatal disease.  I can appreciate that you are going through tough times. The decisions you make in the next few months will have a huge impact on your life, and this pressure can get overwhelming. I will keep you in my prayers. God be with you,

Christopher.

GaryK:

--- Quote from: lilitalienboi16 on April 20, 2011, 03:41:28 AM ---Please don't be shy, share with me your experiences. I need to hear this.

--- End quote ---



You're placing a high bet on what sounds like strong emotions on a roller coaster.   Best relax, get sleep (lot's of it) and use your brain. 

You're young, lean on that fact.

gk   

lilitalienboi16:
First of all, I wanted to say I read all your responses. Thank you! I also wanted to clarify a few things.

I'm not currently in medical school, but i'm working towards it. I've been in college for almost five years now. The requirements to get into medical school are astounding. You have no idea what they put you through, like jumping through hoops of fire in which none of the things you have just been put through really even bare relevance to actually "saving" someones life physically.

I know I would love to be a doctor, to work in a hospital or work with children as a pediatrician. I would really enjoy this and I can't really see myself anywhere else. The problem is the one I just mentioned and it conflicts with my personality and who I am as a person.

You see... I'm rather lazy. I enjoy ALOT of time to myself, to think. I'm rather anti-social in this sense and rather odd as I don't really do as my peers do. Study group? I'd rather study alone. I suppose i'm very picky about those I surround myself with. I have a mild form of dyslexia and am extremely ADD. (Atleast I think.) I can sit all day and play a video game, run four miles at the gym and lift weights, but find no motivation to do the homework thats due the next day.

So What i'm saying is ALL the stuff that stands in my way to get there as a doctor, i have NO motivation to learn because the stuff they are making me learn bares little to no relevance in being a doctor. I'm not going to be asked to synthesis an organic compound of this type with these reagents on the operating table or on said patients check up. I'm not going to be asked to find the torque required to rotate the wheel at said angular velocity. I mean its absolutely rediculous. I'm not going to be asked to use EMSA in a research laboratory as a doctor. I'm not yet in medical school and I've spent five years learning things that they require you to learn before you can take the MCATS to get into medical school where you FINALLY start learning things of relevance to your field. Everything before that, that the stuff i've spent 5 years learning seems to bare little relevance on what a doctor needs to know. My dad told me the stuff i'm learning, HE NEVER learned in school. He says I'm doing way more than he ever did. My dad is a dentist, an oral doctor and went to med school 20-30 years ago. They wonder why suicide rates are so high for my generation, 20 years ago it was unheard of getting rejected from a college, now you have to apply to 30 different ones because its al you worry about. 20 Years ago you could get a good  paying job and be middle class without having a masters degree, now if you don't have a masters degree they won't hire you at Mc donalds! (I kid, but you get the point.) I don't know... i'm just ugh. Your answers have motivated me to continue pushing forward, but I'm going to kick and scream teh whole way there. Its just a shame, my grades suffer because I have littler interest in all this "extra" stuff i'm learning now that has nothing to do with me being a doctor, yet those seame classes are so important for me getting into medical school. It's in the Lords hands, if He wants me in a position to work in a hospital with the power to by His grace to save someone from the jaws of death than He will get me there. I'd love to work in a children hospital.. that be amazing.. but curse all this garbage that stands in my way of getting there.

Im posting this because I Just need someone to talk.. i need experience, I need companionship through all this, its so hard :( and i'm the worse possible person to have this desire because of who I am as a person. Lazy, ADHD anti social boy spawned by this ever faster moving society of ours.

Feel free to comment more, it's helping me to just talk about what im feeling. Thanks everyone for your responses and God bless you.

P.S. I'm not depressed, I'm just trying to understand myself and why I feel and think the things I do. (:

GaryK:

--- Quote from: lilitalienboi16 on April 20, 2011, 04:28:55 PM ---It's in the Lords hands, if He wants me in a position to work in a hospital with the power to by His grace to save someone from the jaws of death than He will get me there.


P.S. I'm not depressed, I'm just trying to understand myself and why I feel and think the things I do. (:

--- End quote ---



I'll chime in once again, provided you don't mind.  And yes, I know it's rather blunt but I'm that way most of the time, so here goes.


The first quote above is what is true.  Period.  You already know that.   So, once again, LEAN on it and let it ride.  Your shoes will fall where they fall.  That's it.

As for 'relevance'........how do YOU know it's of no relevance.  (beside the point, actually)

Now to the PS part: 

Because you are young.  You're not doing anything different than anyone else your age is doing, or did 30 years ago, so it's not as perplexing as you may think.  Quite normal.   I have a neice going through the same thing and about to enter law school.  Same questions, same perplexities.  But she's going to school and she understands the, (ahem)........ 'personal motivation'.......... she's receiving, so she understands enough to set aside those complexities she's feeling.  And so should you.


Sorry about the scriptural references not being included but I've read your posts over a few years, you know where to find those.

gk

Duane:
I have read so many letters like yours over the years nd they aren't to be taken lightly.  Your desire to communicate your feelings is GREAT but it is still a "cry for help".  I strongly urge you to seek help oncampus because you have  all the markers of being clinically depressed.  Nothing wrong with that except if it goes unchecked it can lead to self-destruction.  The "laziness" is just one of the signs. 
With the correct medication the self-worth, meaningless of purpose, the happiness
will return as well as the ambition.  Seen it over and over. 
As far as the studies, I minored in psychology in college, and you wonder what all the theory has to do with real life.  And running rats around hardly prepares one for counselling others. Yet the FOUNDATION of learning is necessary to appreciate the whole later!
Last thought,  if being a doctor doesn't "cut it", there is sure a tremendous, gowing need for physical therapists, occupational, recreational therapists, all kinds of specialists as the world's population is getting older,  You ought to see the joy when I visit the hospital where I spent several months recovering from a stroke that paralyzed my whole left side and the same people that rolled me onto a tarp and lifted me from place to place (like beached whale) and later taught me how to use a wheelchair and keep my hands out of the spokes, see me walking around with NO CANE AND NO WALKER!  That joy could be YOURS!  Keep on, keeping on.  God didn't give you a mind that can grasp subjects we can't even pronounce for nothing!
But first, take care of your mental health and everything else will fall into place.

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