Hi John,
My Prayers go out in Your behalf. Sorry that you have to endure this suffering. Through God's direction & Grace you've attained recognition. You have recognition that Your particular Lifestyle is a Sin, a falling short or missing the mark. Not many that live out this particular Sin ever do in the present Age or in Ages of the past. Only God can & will provide the CAUSES that lead to not desiring to Sin. Have any of us truly conquered what's listed at Galatians Chapter Five. Lets read below & think about this.
Gal 5:19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
Gal 5:20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
Gal 5:21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
When examining the above list of what's considered: " The Works of The Flesh," Many often think of Murder, Adultery, Witchcraft or Spiritism, Seditions and Heresies. Yet, many overlook, the not so obvious, because many of these Carnal Traits are undetected & unknown by other fellow Humans unless manifested through overt action. Think of Hatred, Envies, strife, uncleaness and Lasciviousness. Not one of us at this Forum are confident to claim that we haven't Sinned in respect to some of these Carnal Traits. I will E sword definition breakdowns of these five I listed for Your examination.
STRIFE: eritheia
er-ith-i'-ah
Perhaps from the same as G2042; properly intrigue, that is, (by implication) faction: - contention (-ious), strife.
Comment: Notice the Word INTRIGUE, The word intrigue is a type of contention where an individual might pose questions to another to obtain information in order find out negative things about another for future use against them.
LASCIVIOUSNESS: aselgeia
as-elg'-i-a
From a compound of G1 (as a negative particle) and a presumed σελγής selgēs (of uncertain derivation, but apparently meaning continent); licentiousness (sometimes including other vices): - filthy, lasciviousness, wantonness.
Comment: Filthy, Lewd behavior, shameful conduct.
HATRED: echthra
ekh'-thrah
Feminine of G2190; hostility; by implication a reason for opposition: - enmity, hatred.
Comment: Jesus stated that if You Hate your Brother, You murder Him in Your Heart. Can any of us say We never had Hostility in Our Heart to any degree.
ENVIES: phthonos
fthon'-os
Probably akin to the base of G5351; ill will (as detraction), that is, jealousy (spite): - envy.
Comment: Jealousy, Spite, ill will. Jealousy permeates Families, the workplace, in THE Churches. You name it, Humans got it.
EMULATIONS: zēlos
dzay'-los
From G2204; properly heat, that is, (figuratively) “zeal” (in a favorable sense, ardor; in an unfavorable one, jealousy, as of a husband [figuratively of God], or an enemy, malice): - emulation, envy (-ing), fervent mind, indignation, jealousy, zeal.
Comment: Indignation, Malice; Ardor- unfavorable type of Zeal.
These are just some of these Carnal Traits commonly found among Fallen Flesh. Notice the last part of that passage at Verse 21 of Galatians Chapter 5 for emphasis: AND SUCH LIKE OR THINGS LIKE THESE(NWT). That phrase indicates that the works of the Flesh are not limited to whats on the List.
John, The point of the above is meant to express that Everyone(All of Humanity), except Jesus are guilty of at least most of these Traits in Their Heart on some level or to some degree.
Consider Paul, The Scriptures confirm that He was the WORST, FOREMOST OR CHIEF among Sinners. He was worse than you ever were or will be, yet we know what God did for Him. Below is an Email answer of Ray's that mentions Paul & what God did to Him and for Him. Also, I've included a Scriptural passage below that regarding Paul formerly.
Dear Dugan:
Thank you for your email and questions.
Why should it seem a thing impossible that God Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth should be able to save a sinner? Why does that boggle the mind? Paul said that he was the greatest sinner that has ever lived (do we think he LIED?), and it took God about 3-4 SECONDS to save him. God saved him in one flash of light! Paul didn't WANT to be saved. Paul wanted to go to Damascus and PERSECUTE AND LAUGHER CHRISTIANS--that's what Paul wanted to do. But God had other plans for Saul/Paul. And so first He converted Paul. That took about 3-4 seconds. Then He told Paul what he ABSOLUTE WOULD DO, and Paul immediately began to DO THEM.
Now then, why should it seem a thing impossible that God Almighty should save a puny wimp of a sinner like Hitler? Do you think this CHALLENGES God's power to ultimate? If ALL NATIONS are to God but "a drop in a bucket," what pray tell would you liken just ONE of the sinners from ONE of those nations to? And flea? An atom? We blaspheme the name of God and don't even realize what we are doing!
God sent [commissioned] His Son Jesus Christ "To be the SAVIOUR OF THE WORLD" (I John 4:14). Do you really think that Both God Almighty AND Jesus Christ thought for one second that this mission would end in the utter failure portrayed by Christendom? What a sick and disgusting gospel the Church is sending to the world today.
OF COURSE "None CAN come to Christ, except the Father draw [Gk: drag] them." (John 6:44). And that is precisely what God will do to ALL MANKIND. Every human on earth will repent, and acknowledge Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour (Phil. 2:9-11). But who believes these Scriptures? Virtually no one. God is coming to JUDGE THIS WORLD. Have you never heard that before?
Well what happens when God comes to JUDGE THIS WORLD?
"Because He has appointed a day, in the which He shall JUDGE THE WORLD in righteousness by THAT MAN [Jesus Christ] Whom He has ordained; whereof He has given ASSURANCE UNTO ALL MEN ['all'--that would be EVERYONE, Dugan], in that He has raised Him from the dead" (Acts 17:31).
Judgment Day will "give ASSURANCE TO ALL MEN," but who believes these Scriptures? Practically no one.
GOD JUDGES THE WORLD IN RIGHTEOUSNESS, HE DOES NOT TORTURE THE WORLD IN FIRE FOR ALL ETERNITY!
"For when Thy JUDGMENTS are in the earth the inhabitants OF THE WORLD WILL LEARN
RIGHTEOUSNESS" (Isa. 26:9).
But who believes these Scriptures and HUNDREDS just like them? Practically no one.
God is CALLING MANY, but CHOOSING FEW in this church age. When God sets His hand to CHOOSE THEM ALL, He will do just that. And then ALL MANKIND will be saved (I Tim. 2:4, 4:10, etc. etc.)
And God will be "ALL in All" (I Cor. 15:28). Not some in most or a little in a few, but "ALL in All." But who believes these Scriptures? Do you, Dugan? Are you not reading my Series on "The Lake of Fire?" You really should. You will learn more than in ten years of seminary.
God be with you,
Ray
1Ti 1:12 And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry;
1Ti 1:13 Who was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious: but I obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief.
1Ti 1:14 And the grace of our Lord was exceeding abundant with faith and love which is in Christ Jesus.
1Ti 1:15 This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am CHIEF.( prōtos
pro'-tos
Contracted superlative of G4253; foremost (in time, place, order or importance): - before, beginning, best, chief (-est), first (of all), former.)
.
1Ti 1:16 Howbeit for this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might shew forth all longsuffering, for a pattern to them which should hereafter believe on him to life everlasting.
Hope some of the above helps, let me know if I can be of assistance, Samson.