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Author Topic: Female/Male Brain  (Read 14223 times)

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Samson

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Female/Male Brain
« on: May 25, 2011, 10:41:49 AM »

Hi Forum,

This Thread is primarily meant for Fun & Banter, but some helpful insights are appreciated too. Hopefully, We can get responses from a close to equal distribution of Guys & Gals from the Forum Membership. Those of you that are Married will probably know what I'm referring to. Hope to hear responses from Craig, John From Kentucky, Kat, Rene, Crazy4Bam, Gena, Arcturus, Vangie, Linny, Grace(maybe not,  ;D), perhaps Dennis, Ninny( ;)), Longhorn(may regret this,  ;D) and even John Michael, who although was never Married, seems to understand their(Women) language better than most Males.

What I sometimes wonder occasionally, while sorta Day dreaming about Life, considering Why God Created & Planned things the way He did: Why didn't He create Males & Females with a Brain that thinks & Feels the same. We know He wanted to have many Son's & Daughters which necessitated having a Male & a Female to Procreate, yet Why not have a Brain that includes both Male & Female ways of thinking for both sexes in order to avoid such confusion, so When Males & Females interact, it wouldn't, at times, become a source of Stress. Now, I realize that God has a sense of Humor and such stressful friction was deemed necessary for Our spiritual development, but in those Male/Female moments, I still sometimes ask myself WHY.

Some Examples: My Wife and I were squabbling on Monday about nothing really important in comparison to Major World Events. It centered around Her response to Me about a simple non complicated question. She gave Me an answer about a question I directed towards Her about doing something and I asked Her what Her REASON was. She responded by saying: There is no reason, it is what it is and that's it. She apparently didn't believe a REASON was necessary beyond that. For six years, We sometimes get into that back & forth scenario about Me desiring to have a REASON for everything She says & does. My usual response is that there is a reason for everything, even if We don't know what the reason is. She sometimes gets annoyed with Me when I try to analyze every detail of Life and Why people choose & Do certain things.

Another Possible Example: Approximately 20 minutes ago, I Posted a response to Grace's comment on that Thread about that Email response of Ray's to that Guy named Aaron about Homosexuality started By Zander, Grace stated: Are We Puppets, I figured that She asked a question requiring an answer on that question, so I provided an answer, followed By Hope in Christs' subsequent response. After thinking about My response to Grace, I'm beginning to wonder if She really wasn't looking for an answer, but instead was wondering about; Are We Puppets in regards to holding back answers about the original Topic started by Zander.

In Summary, Males & Females; Husbands & Wives seem to argue and stress themselves out over the most minor and most stupid issues. Issues that don't seem to matter in the Grand Scheme of things. Well, if you desire to respond, having a little Fun and sharing Your take on this, go for it, I'm convinced it won't be boring,  :D, ;D.

                                  Have Fun, Samson.
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Craig

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2011, 10:50:42 AM »

It's Venus and Mars Samson.

Her Side of the Story:

He was in an odd mood Sunday night. We planned to meet at a bar for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was very slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure.

So anyway, in the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what that meant because you know he didn't say it back or anything. We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed.

Then after awhile, he joined me and to my surprise, we made love. But he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he's seeing someone else.

His Side of the Story:

The 49er's lost.
Got lucky though.
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Deborah-Leigh

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2011, 11:08:00 AM »

Too sweet Craig...being over half a century and getting younger!

Samson, I have to hand it to Pam...her intuition, wisdom and insight is captured in a profound, deep and true response being...no reason. Hah! That could mean so much or nothing at all!

The so much part is that any reason is simply a figment of a self justification of which Pam is aloof and beyond such denigrations and or constructs of a human ego, presenting for itself, its case for, or against a motion. Hence that reply, it is what it is, means the highest form by which the actual statement is, I love you and so there is nothing else to say of the matter. Let’s move on, my way that is in harmony, joy and appreciation for being able to let go of self justification. It is what it is.

Meaning nothing at all can go into this area of comprehensive insight to that domain of non-conflict that simply and clearly knows that what is, is what is and no debate or argument is constructive to the contrary.

Should I have been a lawyer or a preacher...? lol....I am what I am...you are what you are and I think your wonderful miracle of a wife, might quite simply without any fuss, agree! :D

What a wise Lady you are married to!...and what a wise man you are to love her!

Arc
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Rene

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2011, 11:41:08 AM »


She sometimes gets annoyed with Me when I try to analyze every detail of Life and Why people choose & Do certain things.



I'm annoyed with you for being that way, and I'm not even married to you. ;D ::) :P :D

René
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crazy4bam

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2011, 02:17:11 PM »

This response is for all the women out there in this male populated world: ;D We were made different for a reason: ah! To drive all men to the brink of sanity! I also like to say:Yes, dear you are absolutely right. It usually works, but he is starting to catch on. I also have this to say all women's problems start and end with men:

           1)MENopause
           2)MENstrual cycle
           3)Mental stress
           4) woman
           5) women
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JohnMichael

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2011, 02:38:09 PM »

DISCLAIMER: I am purely speaking from personal experience when I have had to play "interpreter" between friends who are couples. I am not speaking for all women or all men. I very much realize that there are exceptions to every rule. ;D

Women:

Women tend to speak from, and are ruled by, the Heart. They think in terms of how the subject or action is going to make someone feel. Is it going to hurt them? Is it going to cause pain? Is it going to make them happy? What kind of stress is it going to cause? Etc. The person's emotions are the viewpoint from which a woman looks at a particular subject or action.

Men:

Men tend to speak from, and are ruled by, the Mind. They think in terms of how the subject or action is logical or illogical. Does the framework make sense? Is it logical? Is it reasonable? What is the reason? Does it provide the solution to the problem? Does it have longevity and stability? Etc. Logic is the viewpoint from which men look at a particular subject or action.

Case in Point (if I might borrow your scenario, Samson):

You wanted to know the reason behind her statement. You desired to know her logic for stating what she did. Why did she say what she said?

Her viewpoint of the matter was that there didn't have to be logic behind it. She just felt like it - plain and simple. It didn't require a dissection or an analysis. That's how she felt. It is what it is.

Notice the disconnect?

Sometimes I truly think that God separated not only His masculinity and femininity when He created Man and Woman, but that He also separated His Mind and Heart. One would be ruled by one, and the other would be ruled by the other. The joining of the two would reflect His completeness (granted, in an imperfect way).

Hopefully the men and women won't try to burn me at the stake. ;D Again, I'm JUST speaking from personal experience. This is by no means conclusive or all-encompassing. Put those pitchforks down! ;D

There is a saying that "the Mind and Heart march to the beat of two different drummers, and they rarely fall into step." Nowhere is this more evident than with men and women. :D
« Last Edit: May 25, 2011, 03:33:57 PM by JohnMichael »
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Drew

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2011, 03:59:44 PM »

JohnMichael,

Your reasoning seems logical to me! ;D
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moxicarose

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2011, 06:14:12 PM »

My husband and I will be married 12 years this August, and we are different as day and night when it comes to how we view things most of the time! And yes, I know that's the condition of the majority of married couples. Venus/Mars and all that. :P But I think it's interesting that what Samson said about wanting to know the reason behind his wife's doings and her frustration with his analytical tendency actually is the OPPOSITE for me and my husband. I am the one who wants to know why and he is the one who is happy with it just being what it is. I have a mind that spins a million miles a minute and he can fall asleep in 6 seconds flat. (While I am sorting thoughts and asking God to let the spinning slow down enough for me to sleep) The emotional side of things is still mine, of course...so not only am I analytical, but i go through the confusion of my own feelings and try to analyze them as well..Meanwhile my husband forgets that i deal with these things and wonders what crawled under my skin..Haha! He really is so comfy in his own skin. He actually isn't really that frustrated with me ever, and that frustrates me! I want him to seem like he cares more than he does because I feel all alone being so concerned with figuring things out...

balance.

balance needs to happen. :)
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Kat

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #8 on: May 25, 2011, 06:33:12 PM »


Hi Samson,

Quote
Why didn't He create Males & Females with a Brain that thinks & Feels the same.

Good question.

Well I will give you my take on why this in the way God designed it. Having male and female brains that operate differently, is a way of enabling a much greater diversity in human personalties.

Even though there is always exceptions, I agree with John, men seem to be analytical, making them good at mathematics and engineering, they are looking for logical answers. Where as women seem to operate mainly with emotions and feelings, so they are empathizing types  making them good at mothering.

It's interesting because I can say to my husband, 'look it's raining outside.' His reply would then go something like this; when did it start? How hard is it raining? Is the wind blowing too? Is it suppose to rain all day, I wanted to cut the grass this afternoon? So many questions. Whereas if he told me it was raining, I might say, 'good the garden needed it.' That's it.

Another thing I will say is I think God made a means by which in relationships, with the combination of these different strengths and weaknesses of our genders, to enriching our knowledge (physical that is). Because each brings their own gender perspective that can add greatly to the understanding of the other. As well as all the joys and pleasures of you can have in a relationship there is the inevitable problems, which are great avenue for trials and tribulations and if we are to be overcomers, we need something to overcome. So it seems to me this whole male-female thing was design to make possible a great part of the good and evil experiences that we have in this life. I will just leave it at that.

mercy, peace and love
Kat

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daywalker

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #9 on: May 25, 2011, 09:09:43 PM »

It's Venus and Mars Samson.

Her Side of the Story:

He was in an odd mood Sunday night. We planned to meet at a bar for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was very slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure.

So anyway, in the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what that meant because you know he didn't say it back or anything. We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed.

Then after awhile, he joined me and to my surprise, we made love. But he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he's seeing someone else.

His Side of the Story:

The 49er's lost.
Got lucky though.

That......is........ A W E S O M E!!  ;D
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daywalker

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2011, 09:15:12 PM »

JohnMichael,

Your reasoning seems logical to me! ;D

I would second that.
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gmik

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #11 on: May 25, 2011, 11:51:07 PM »

What a hilarious thread!!

Married 37 years!!  Yikes.  And boy are we Mars/Venus- that is our code words for when we have reached impass and need to move on!!

I like to say rhetorical things...I don't want an answer-just an agreement or an 'uh hum'

ex- watching sports on TV together...I say "wonder why he would do that"-like you know, just small talk.  My husband will analyze the entire play and what the guy did so we miss the next play.  I say, Jer, I didn't want to know all that- I was just sayin'......he says, then why did you say that? I thought you really wanted an answer.

But we don't learn from that.....it happens every time!   Now my new code word is RHETORICAL!!!  don't wanna know specifics


our other disconnect is in directions....I am the big headline reader....He reads the small print.....

Just tell me what you want done....he wants to explain everything in minute detail like I am 6 and not 60!!! :D


Conclusion Samson???  It may be more like brains are just different period!!! ;)  And Lord I don't know why HE made us all this way!!
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cjwood

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #12 on: May 26, 2011, 07:44:31 PM »


---
These thread might wasn't meant for me to post in, as I am not married (and I wasn't in the list (haha, just kidding)), but, oh well, I have already write in.

 

i just wanted to mention that the list moises was referring to above, was one that samson listed in his initial thread. i posted something about this list late last night, but, apparently a mod decided to remove my post without any explanation as to why.

claudia









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Craig

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #13 on: May 26, 2011, 09:17:52 PM »

I removed your post Claudia because I thought it was unfair of you to suggest that part of Samson's post was unnecessary because he named people and it was cliquish.   Give me a break, I don't hardly know Brad at all but I know that was not his intention.  I moved your post because I thought your comments were unnecessary and inflammatory.  

A clique?  I can probably count on 2 hands the times I have talked to anyone here by phone or in person (not counting meeting some at a conference)  Ask the other moderators or members how much I correspond with them by pm or email, hardly any.  I probably make some upset because I don't respond.  Just because twenty or so members are regular posters does not a clique make, anyone can post.  Why did Brad mention some names and not others, because if you look he pretty much covered the spectrum of all the different characteristics of the members here and the world in general.   He did not mention "chestercheetah", "dan" or "delandus" because they have not posted and given him a chance to know them (PS  not picking on you guys or gals that don't post ;) ).

I did not feel a need to comment to you as I did not see a need to make a mountain out of a mole hill, but you insist so here goes.  I don't know what the problem is with you in the last several months, but the tone and undertones in your posts are getting old, at least to me.  If you don't like the forum, the direction it is going, the moderators, some of the members or anything else then you are under no obligation to stay, nor is anyone else.

As a moderator I don't need the worry.  I don't need the worry about someone getting their feelings hurt, or one member not getting along with another, or threads straying away from any semblance of truth.  I only move posts on rare occasions and it is usually to stop a problem from happening before it picks up steam.  To all members, we are not special.  We are humans with all the flaws of everyone else, we here are no better or worse than every other poor sap living a crummy life in a dying world.  Our probems are the same as everyone else's out there; the only difference is we know the "good news" and we know where our hope is.  We also know that for every trial there is a purpose.  

Some here are very sensitive, some are happy go lucky, some are serious, some are depressed, some are hurting.  Do we sound any different than everyone else in the world?  If you are a member of the forum and you look for a reason to get your feelings hurt, then guess what? you will find it here, so I suggest you grow a backbone.  If you are happy as a clam and nothing bothers you then good for you, but remember some here are in a dark place.  If you want to be serious about everything posted here then you will be disappointed because we don't take ourselves very seriously.  If you are depressed don't expect the forum to dig you out, we can give you support and prayers but we can't change your circumstances.  If you are hurting we can hurt with you but we can't stop the hurt.  If you want to look for an ulterior motive of a person or their posts then I think you can spend your time in much more productive endeavours.  If we all lived beside of each other I would probably be close friends with a handful of you, be non commital about the majority of you and could not stand a few of you.  That is O.K and is typically human, but we all have a common bond that should allow us to overlook each others faults inside this forum.

So now that I've stepped on about everyones feet, have at me, I don't get paid enough with this gig to care.  But I do care that God is using me for some purpose, though I do wonder what.  I care that the forum stays halfway focused on the truths presented by Ray Smith, and I care enough to move some of your posts before you step in it too deep.  Maybe another moderator will move mine.

Craig
« Last Edit: May 26, 2011, 09:34:13 PM by Craig »
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longhorn

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #14 on: May 26, 2011, 10:22:35 PM »

Women rule the world.  They are the enemy..... but I still love the enemy.  Best I can do Guy's.  Life is good, and I find my turtle Hank down by the creek today... oh yes, he had been missing for a couple of days.  God Bless Ray.

Longhorn
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longhorn

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #15 on: May 26, 2011, 10:27:26 PM »

Until Arc and Ninny post, my previous thoughts are only temporary.

Longhorn
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Kat

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #16 on: May 27, 2011, 12:01:49 AM »


Craig you have a way of putting it all in perspective, I guess that is the male brain operating at it's best  8)

And longhorn you always pop in with levity to keep things from getting too serious

Kat
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crazy4bam

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #17 on: May 27, 2011, 01:22:08 AM »

I want to say to all the people that got upset because my husband didn't mention them in the beginning of this thread. It was not his intention to hurt anyone's feelings. He picked those names because thought they would give some insightful answers or a funny response.
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Deborah-Leigh

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #18 on: May 27, 2011, 04:26:43 AM »

Find the lookalikes showing up on this thread...Claudia...I see you as the adorable little girl with an angel face, lamb blond hair, ribbons in pigtails,  and Craig you've got to be the sweetie pie with the crew cut and glasses! I am the kid at the back, all out of tune and dancing to her own band!  :D... Where's everyone?

 1.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZdPCCKPDBY&feature=related

 2.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpzUIs7MFDU&feature=related

We are all, just simply irreplaceable! ~ :D :)

Arc
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Craig

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Re: Female/Male Brain
« Reply #19 on: May 27, 2011, 08:53:07 AM »

Claudia, I'm banging my head here, you try to want the high road now after I responded to you in the thread, unbelievable.  After I moved your post as far as I was concerned it was forgotten I didn't even give it another thought.  I did not feel the need to even pm it was not a big deal to me.  But you obviously felt differently, you brought it back up and instead of doing it by pm (as you should have) you chose to use the forum.  Since you insisted on a public display I honored your request. 

All members are deficient in some way or another you or I are no exception.  If you are disillusioned with the forum then as I said you under no obligation to stay. I am growing tired of trying to help keep some peace and be cognizant of others feelings only to have a few members taking little jabs here and there publicly or privately (and you are guilty of this).  Also a disillusioned member is like a cancer that spreads their disease to others with pm's and other communication.  Sweet words are exchanged, encouragement is metted out, an us against them mentality is planted and poison is harvested.   It has happened on the forum in the past and it is just beginning to rear its ugly head again. Members leave and join another forum or band together to create their own forum or fellowship.  I have personally wished them well in their endeavor.  But guess what? this forum is still here and their feel good forum has faded away.   If God blesses something it will stand if not it won't.

Now if anyone feels disillusioned and has a legitimate gripe, suggestion or way to improve the forum anyone can pm or contact any of the moderators and we will consider what you say, the forum is a living breathing entity.  You may not agree with our decision, I have found that we can't please everyone.  We try our best, we are fairly successful to keep the forum focused on its teachings, we are fairly successful of keeping out debate and we are fairly successful at keeping strife to a minimum.  Are we perfect?...no.  Can we improve?...yes.  Can we make everyone happy?...no.  If a member becomes disillusioned with the forum can we change their thinking?...no

Craig
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