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Author Topic: Confused and feeling so sad, and need prayer/direction...  (Read 3182 times)

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moxicarose

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Confused and feeling so sad, and need prayer/direction...
« on: June 14, 2011, 12:26:07 AM »

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I took in a roomate very suddenly. She's a young girl who we became friends with because she dated my younger brother for almost 2 years. Now, I know that it might seem strange, but, she is 20 and was living with her parents who treat her very poorly and she had recently had a pretty bad injury to her knee which was preventing her from seeking employment. It all kind of came to a head when her dad tried to push her down the stairs and told her to get out or go live on the street. So, we took her in.

 She's absolutely no trouble at all. In fact, she's not really here that much because she is doing better from her knee injury and able to walk again, so she's been out looking for work and doing interviews. What's eating away at me is this: my siblings. I was honest with my brother and told him myself that she had moved in with us. He doesn't come over to our house and visit at all despite living only a mile from us. I understand that it might be awkward for him to think of his ex living with his older sister, but I never imagined that he would take it the way that he has. Apparently he and the rest of my siblings are angry that I am letting 'her' live here and that I am a horrible person for being so 'disloyal'. How am I being disloyal? She isn't doing anything to him, and she's not a mean person. She is young and making some young people mistakes, but, she's actually doing better than a lot of people her age I have seen. I feel so strongly that I should share the large rental home that God has blessed us with, and we were not using the room she moved into. My siblings do not care to come visit, and so I honestly thought it would not affect them much at all.

  I just want to do what is right.

Am being persecuted, or just stupid?
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mharrell08

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Re: Confused and feeling so sad, and need prayer/direction...
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2011, 12:33:12 AM »

You are not being stupid at all. Your brothers and sisters need to grow up and move on with their lives.

Remember, now matter how much you do what is right, SOMEBODY will not be happy about. That's just life, you can't please everyone.
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arion

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Re: Confused and feeling so sad, and need prayer/direction...
« Reply #2 on: June 14, 2011, 09:14:38 AM »

Do what is right and let the chips fall where they may.  You are doing the right thing.  Your family is angry towards this girl and thinking out of malice.  You know what Jesus Christ would do....and your doing it.  Good for you and your husband!
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Samson

  • Guest
Re: Confused and feeling so sad, and need prayer/direction...
« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2011, 11:33:14 AM »

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I took in a roomate very suddenly. She's a young girl who we became friends with because she dated my younger brother for almost 2 years. Now, I know that it might seem strange, but, she is 20 and was living with her parents who treat her very poorly and she had recently had a pretty bad injury to her knee which was preventing her from seeking employment. It all kind of came to a head when her dad tried to push her down the stairs and told her to get out or go live on the street. So, we took her in.

 She's absolutely no trouble at all. In fact, she's not really here that much because she is doing better from her knee injury and able to walk again, so she's been out looking for work and doing interviews. What's eating away at me is this: my siblings. I was honest with my brother and told him myself that she had moved in with us. He doesn't come over to our house and visit at all despite living only a mile from us. I understand that it might be awkward for him to think of his ex living with his older sister, but I never imagined that he would take it the way that he has. Apparently he and the rest of my siblings are angry that I am letting 'her' live here and that I am a horrible person for being so 'disloyal'. How am I being disloyal? She isn't doing anything to him, and she's not a mean person. She is young and making some young people mistakes, but, she's actually doing better than a lot of people her age I have seen. I feel so strongly that I should share the large rental home that God has blessed us with, and we were not using the room she moved into. My siblings do not care to come visit, and so I honestly thought it would not affect them much at all.

  I just want to do what is right.

Am being persecuted, or just stupid?


Hi Moxicarose,

Personally, I agree with Marques with the following addition: It's none of Your Families business who you decide to help. They don't pay Your Rent, provide food, pay utilities, etc, etc. Don't add additional stress upon yourself by dignifying or worrying about what they don't like. This issue involves your immediate family business, ie- Husband, Wife and those that reside in your immediate household. It's not your Job to satisfy every nuance regarding Your Brother and other Family members that don't reside within Your Household. If Your Husband objected, that would be a different scenario. Don't get caught up in this US against them mentality. You don't need anymore stress.

Kind Regards, Samson.
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Linny

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Re: Confused and feeling so sad, and need prayer/direction...
« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2011, 06:45:53 PM »

Samson and the others are exactly correct. Decisions we make as a family that involve our family are no one else's business and should not be more than a blip on your radar. My question to them would be, "Who asked for your opinion in the first place?"  :P
It certainly should be no source of stress to you. Life has enough stressors without worrying what others think about your choices in life. ESPECIALLY those who apparently don't have time to visit you anyway.  ::)

My most favorite lady who was so very wise told me once to not discuss or share information with anyone who was not like-minded with me. Following that advice has made my life so much easier!  ;D
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daywalker

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Re: Confused and feeling so sad, and need prayer/direction...
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2011, 09:28:56 PM »


I, too, agree with the rest that what you did was right and very kind. It is not you at fault, but your siblings. Letting that girl roam the streets with a knee injury just to please their selfish feelings would have been wrong. I will keep you and your situation in my prayers. Godspeed!

Daywalker  8)
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Heidi

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Re: Confused and feeling so sad, and need prayer/direction...
« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2011, 03:29:41 AM »

Samson wrote.....If Your Husband objected, that would be a different scenario. Don't get caught up in this US against them mentality.

Can you try and explain it to your brother just as you explained it to us?  Remember, blessed are the peacemakers....if he by then still do now want to hear what you had to say and why......wash your hands

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moxicarose

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Re: Confused and feeling so sad, and need prayer/direction...
« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2011, 06:10:06 PM »

It's been a rough few days...Thank you all for your kind words. I know it in my head that I don't need to feel 'bad' for having her living here. I knew in advance that it was a 'risk' because of the fact that it wasn't really that long ago that they were dating, so it would be awkward fro him to find out she lives here. I'm not my siblings favorite person, and they pretty much disagree with my lifestyle in general, but this time it's like they are taking it to a whole new level of judgement. I have been asking my husband to consider moving away from this town for a few years now. If you all would pray for God's will to be done in that, I would be so grateful! I desparately want to get my children away from the awful examples from their aunts and uncles, and myself away from the scrutiny. (at least within close range..i know they will never stop scrutinizing my life and judging me as long as God keeps them all in the dark)

  I am trying to just cling to God, knowing that He loves me, even when I don't feel loved by most around me. And I want to share the love he gives me. :)
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