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And the crisis continues

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lilitalienboi16:
So i'm sure most of you read my big thread a few months back and my delima with school. Well the semester came with an end and I pretty much failed my classes across the board.

Now my GPA is shot, it has been for a while, I was trying to recover to at least get myself to a 3.0 and for a while It was working, but this past semester with my personal war within, my gpa is back down to a 2.8 and it seems like there is no hope for recovery.

I Just want to say that 3.0 is terrible in my case, considering I want to go to med school, my dad told me in california you need a minimum of 3.3 on top of solid scores with the MCATS 35+, a score of 33+ will still get you somewhere good, probably out of state but yea.

So anyhoo, my whole point with this is I just want to know, is there still hope for me to be a dr? Can God get me there with even this odds? Oh i forgot to mention I also have like zero volunteer work, which looks pretty good on an application and pretty much required.

I could get the volunteer work done and I was actually thinking about starting this coming semester, I have helped my dad at AYUTA before, so I suppose i do have SOME volunteer work, but probably not enough.

I'm really disappointed in myself, and nothing you say could be any more harsh than I have been on myself. I just can't seem to FIX my inability to study/ concentrate properly.

I recently told a friend that God would see me through it, and she told me, God's not gonna do it for you, you have to do it yourself. I told her i'm trying... but what she said makes me feel like maybe she is right.. maybe its up to me and God isn't gonna drag me through it, God isn't gonna just magically get me there, God isn't gonna DO THIS for me. But then that goes against everything I believe.. isn't he in control?

But then again, Is thinking hes fully in control just an excuse for me not to try? Am I using the idea that God is fully in control as a reason to just be lazy? Am i being lazy? What is wrong with me? Heh.............. >.>

So... yea, i'm feeling prettty down with myself, disappointed in myself, confused. I'd love to be a Dr, its all I can see myself doing but at this point.. it seems that even if I did well on my MCATS, I would probably not have a great chance of getting into any good medical school.

So what do you think? Can God reconcile this, is this just part of the trials He wants me to experience? Is this just Him trying to really show me just how much I need to trust Him? Or is it up to me to fix this, and I can't count on God, I need to get out of this on my own? Ugh.. listen to me.. that second part almost sounds crazy but thats just how tormented I am with these thoughts.

I've come so far, (Albeit with not the best of grades) I have one more semester of physics to take and I could theoritically take the MCATS this coming summer, thats how close I am to med school but I feel theres no chance this far in to ever fix my mistakes.

And i'm rambling.

Anyhooooooooooooooooooooooo, ugh. >.>

Life, ugh. >.>

P.S. If I fail at this endeavor, i'm going to have let down a LOT of people... one let down after another, but I know none of that will hurt as much as having let myself down.

P.P.S No i'm not doing this for anyone else, its what I want to do with my life ( yes yes It is, despite all the bitching and moaning I do about the schooling, I know *shock*)

JohnMichael:
Hi Alex,

This is just my overall impression after reading your post. It appears that a trap has been laid before you. Your friend is presenting you with the notion that you have to do it yourself ("God won't do it for you."). In other words, he/she is saying, "You have to rely on yourself to see you through" which we know to be wrong. The question then becomes: Will you trust in Him, or will you try to rely on yourself? Remember, without Him, we can do nothing. Nothing means nothing. We wouldn't even be breathing right now without Him.

God is in control of all things - all means all: even your school matters. If God wants you to be a Dr., then God will see to it that you become a Dr. Does this mean that we sit back in our chariot and demean God to the position of our pull-horse? No. We are yoked with Him. As He gives us the strength and ability, we do what we can and know to be right; we keep the faith; we fight the good fight; etc. We don't just sit back and enjoy the ride. That is a common falsehood I'm beginning to see in those around me. People think either (1) Man has free will, so man has to "pull his own weight," or (2) God is in control of everything, so man just sits back on his chariot and lowers God (in his mind) to man's pull-horse.

If I got the wrong impression, I humbly ask your forgiveness, but that is how I interpreted your post. You are wrestling with the notion (at its heart) of God's Sovereignty (and maybe a dash of free will too). "Will God see me through this? Is God able to reconcile this? Or do I have to do it myself?"

God will see you through this, and you will be what He wants you to be. He will also give you the strength and ability to do what you can. Remember, we are His workmanship. We also don't want to fall prey to the complacent/lukewarm/lazy attitude either.

I'm not saying any of this from a position of a high horse or anything. I hope this has been able to give you encouragement in your present predicament.

In His Love,
John

Deborah-Leigh:


Don't be so down on yourself Alex ~ :)

I am sure God  has a wonderful path and plan for your life.

God lives in you.  "I am with you always, even unto the end of time" are not just pretty words. They are Truth.

Arc

judith collier:
Alex, the only thing that concerns me is this, "inability to study" The rest can be worked out somehow. What is your pre-occupation???????
love, judy

lilitalienboi16:

--- Quote from: JohnMichael on June 22, 2011, 01:54:10 PM ---Hi Alex,

This is just my overall impression after reading your post. It appears that a trap has been laid before you. Your friend is presenting you with the notion that you have to do it yourself ("God won't do it for you."). In other words, he/she is saying, "You have to rely on yourself to see you through" which we know to be wrong. The question then becomes: Will you trust in Him, or will you try to rely on yourself? Remember, without Him, we can do nothing. Nothing means nothing. We wouldn't even be breathing right now without Him.

God is in control of all things - all means all: even your school matters. If God wants you to be a Dr., then God will see to it that you become a Dr. Does this mean that we sit back in our chariot and demean God to the position of our pull-horse? No. We are yoked with Him. As He gives us the strength and ability, we do what we can and know to be right; we keep the faith; we fight the good fight; etc. We don't just sit back and enjoy the ride. That is a common falsehood I'm beginning to see in those around me. People think either (1) Man has free will, so man has to "pull his own weight," or (2) God is in control of everything, so man just sits back on his chariot and lowers God (in his mind) to man's pull-horse.

If I got the wrong impression, I humbly ask your forgiveness, but that is how I interpreted your post. You are wrestling with the notion (at its heart) of God's Sovereignty (and maybe a dash of free will too). "Will God see me through this? Is God able to reconcile this? Or do I have to do it myself?"

God will see you through this, and you will be what He wants you to be. He will also give you the strength and ability to do what you can. Remember, we are His workmanship. We also don't want to fall prey to the complacent/lukewarm/lazy attitude either.

I'm not saying any of this from a position of a high horse or anything. I hope this has been able to give you encouragement in your present predicament.

In His Love,
John

--- End quote ---

John you weren't far off at all. Thank you for your post. I do struggle with the notion itself, but not because I don't KNOW he's fully in control, I just can't tell if I'm using this truth to be lazy and not work at this myself or if working at this myself becomes me leaning on my own strengths and "free will."

I've always fully trusted God but sometimes, when someone throws the "its up to YOU not God" to get to med school, sometimes.. just sometimes.. it makes me wonder if really I am so far off and that I'm using his sovereignty as a reason to be lazy or wether I am even being lazy in the first place. I Just can't tell. Heh.

Thank you though,

Alex

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