Well said Dennis.
My advice?
Success and failure are relative; they are a state of mind; an attitude if you will.
There are no absolute successes or absolute failures.
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There is a British comedy series that was aired a couple of years ago called, “That Mitchell and Webb Look” (recommended!). In one of their sketches, Mitchell and Webb were playing Nazi SS officers in the midst of battle.
The dialogue went something like this:
“ Otto, why are we here? I mean, what’s this all about? All this shooting and stuff?”
“ Hans my friend, it doesn’t matter WHY we’re here; we have orders and a job to do.”
“ But why are we dressed in black? And have you noticed that we have Skull and Bones on our hats? That’s not very nice is it? What’s all that about? We’re going to frighten people walking about with these things on our heads.”
“Hans; we are supposed to be frightening. It’s all designed to frighten people. This is war.”
“WAR? But whose side are we on? Those chaps we’re firing at don’t look half as frightening as us.”
Hans looks down again at his uniform and suddenly has a gross realisation.
“Otto? Are we the ‘bad’ guys?”
Otto looks blankly at Hans and gently nods.
“Oh my God! This is awful ! I’m going home.”
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As funny as that may sound, nobody will go to war believing they are wrong.
Axis troops were praying to God, just as the Allies were.
I’m not justifying the madness of genocide and war here; I’m drawing a parallel.
In the ‘latter days’ scenarios of scripture, all types of malevolent and insidious men are numbered as well as those that are peaceable and benign.
Neither camp believes they are wrong.
What has this got to do with your circumstances?
Well, negatively, someone has to be the ‘bad’ guy. God predicts it.
Now lets transfer this value judgement to commerce and industry.
Let’s take a look at success and failure.
SUCCESS is good, right? ; and FAILURE is bad, yeah?
SUCCESS is RIGHT ? FAILURE is WRONG ?
What if you succeed in doing wrong? Or fail to do right?
The whole notion of success and failure is a cultural abstract.
I totally recognise were your head is. You sound like me.
The trick is not to see it as success or failure.
I’m halfway through my first major screenplay. It’s been three years so far; because of distractions. It took me a full year just to outline, another year to storyline and this last year is actually becoming a script. Looking back, I could have done all this in six months; so why didn’t I ? Attitude.
Attitude to what you are following or are engaged in is the single most important ingredient of concluding a matter to your satisfaction.
concluding a matter to your satisfaction.
Success and failure don’t come into it. It’s about how satisfied YOU are with what you’re doing.
My father told me that there is no such thing as a lazy man.
Men are either motivated to do something or they are not.
It’s entirely a question of MOTIVATION.
“ Dad, how the hell do you get a man out of bed if he refuses to be motivated to get up?”
His answer?
“Set fire to the bed. That’s enough motivation for anyone, I don’t care how lazy he is.”
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The question I had to ask myself about being a budding ‘Hollywooder’ was:
Did I believe it?
It seems you have a very distinct goal in your head, not just a doctor, but a specialist.
Henry Thoreau once stated:
“ If you can head confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the kind of life you have imagined, you will come across a success undreamt of in common hours.”
The most important word in that entire statement?
IF.
IF you can.
Can you head CONFIDENTLY in the direction of your dreams?
Would you like to be able to?
Let me tell you what’s missing here.
A COMPELLING FUTURE.
The guy in the flaming bed already has a compelling future; PAIN.
He sees the approaching consequence of his lethargy and bingo!
He immediately chooses the PLEASURE of not being fried to a crisp.
You need to start using your imagination to build a compelling future.
Whatever ‘floats your boat’.
Do you see yourself making over $200,000 a year?
What would it be like?
What kind of a car will you drive?
What kind of a home will you own?
What kind of clothes, food, friends, partner and lifestyle will you have?
What kind of challenges might you face?
What if it all goes belly up?
What would that mean?
Now you’ve probably seen all this kind of methodology before, in some form or another.
But it’s about concluding a matter to your satisfaction.
No one else’s.
Ask yourself. Why do you believe what you believe about you?
The Reticular Activating System (check it out on wiki) is that function of your brain that governs attention. That which you say you lack.
“Ye lack nothing”
EMOTION plays a big role here and that is what is causing your attention to wonder away from that which you say is important. Maybe without realising it, you are investing your emotions into things that you say are contrary to you real desires.
When I first read your piece on BTF, I was reminded of a time when a lady friend asked me to fetch the salt from her kitchen cupboard. I walked into a huge kitchen that was completely unknown to me. I checked every single shelf, over and over. I began an internal mantra that ran: “ I dunno where the salt is. Where’s the salt? I can’t find the salt. It’s not here. It can’t be here. I cant see it. I cant see it, I cant find the salt, I cant find the salt, I cant find the salt.”
She’s calling for the salt now and I don’t want to look stupid. I’m getting angry with myself. My emotions are sizzling and suddenly I burst.
“ I CAN’T FIND THE #*&^%& !! SALT !!!”
She walks quietly into the kitchen, looks in disbelief at me and takes the salt from the shelf that was directly in front of me; at eye level!
Why didn’t I see the salt?
Because I had been telling myself, with great emotional intensity, that I COULDN’T FIND THE SALT !
So my R.A.S. did exactly as I told it and refused to see the salt.
This mechanism also works in reverse!
Every buy a yellow car because it was unusual?
All of a sudden, you’re seeing yellow cars everywhere!
Did everyone go get a re-spray just to ‘tick you off’?
NOOOOOO!
They were always there, but you just didn’t notice because there was nothing in your radar to pick ‘em up.
This is an attention mechanism that is fueled by emotion.
And THAT is what you must harness to Med studies, if being a Doc is what you truly want.
But forget the success and failure crap; it isn’t serving you.
And stop asking the question, “What’s wrong with me?”, because your own ego will take great delight in giving you a list which will swim around your head, creating your ‘reality’ of just how wrong you are.
Find what makes you happy, what ‘juices’ you and follow it with high emotional intensity; give it passion. But DO use and rely on imagination.
The world we live in was built by it.
You are made in His image. His imagination is your reality. You are like Him.
Every thought you have will be a cause that has an effect. Every thought. Make it captive. Make it serve your happiness; your joy. That’s His will for you. Be Happy.
I understand that this may be a lot to take in and you may be hearing these things for the first time. Its impossible to cram a dissertation into a single mail, but if you’ve caught something in these few lines that has piqued your desire, please be in touch on the PM line.
Muchest Luv
Grape x
PS. Lyric from Daddy
http://youtu.be/0put0_a--Ng
Unbelievable, amazing, so profound! THANK YOU SIR! I don't even know where to begin. You're right, there is so much here, I'm overwhelmed at the moment in trying to digest it all but you've given me some hope! THANK YOU! When I can further digest this ill try and give it a more appropriate responce.
What you said was just as claudia said and I was going to use what she said and see if it helps me this coming semester.
"you want to be a pediatrician. so, for motivation, maybe put pics of kiddos on a wall in your room. Cheesy children have a way of motivating. i know they do with me. when you find yourself wandering off track from studying, look at the pictures of the children. caring for their physical health needs has been a desire of your heart for a while now. perhaps the children will inspire you towards that end. just a thought.
i will keep you in my prayers.
claudia "
I'll think of the children, use them as motivation and reason to stay focused.
I can't let my emotions drive me in a negative way. Its funny because I always forget that God said, "it is through MUCH TRIBULATION that we enter the kingdom of heaven." I'm always expecting to be easy but then when I wait on him I feel like im being lazy and i'm trying to do away with the "much tribulation" part but it was only recently that I really started to see ALL THIS as tribulation.
I don't like my carnal mind, when I get weak like this, it tries to sow doubt in my mind at everyturn. Even try and make me doubt my reasons for wanting to be a DR.
I DONT CARE ABOUT THE MONEY, IT WAS NEVER ABOUT THE MONEY! I could make the least of all the DR's in the world but as long as God could take from me and save a child from cancer then I would be the happiest man on earth.
When I get weak and lost, confused, I find myself doubting everything. I find myself losing that strong urge and desire to want to get there and it makes me question EVERYTHING. Just like dennis was saying, maybe this isn't the right path for me. In my moments of weakness I find myself thinking that.. and maybe it isn't? That could still very true now... but I can't see myself anywhere else. Why would God do this to me, if this wasn't my path in life, sometimes I wish He would just come out and tell me what to do. I really feel like this is the only place I can be though, I really do, even with those thoughts of doubt creeping in slowly, even now they reside there in the back of my mind as I type this. But then I read things like what you wrote grapehound and its like a big slap in the face! WAKE UP! GET UP! YOU CAN'T GIVE UP ALEX! YOURE BETTER THEN THIS! Who cares what the world says, PUSH FORWARD! This is where your heart is at, MOVE! GO! Don't give up, you can't! You can't lose with God on your side!
That's what I hear right now too and its what I needed to hear.
I'm so desperately going to try and use my imagination when it comes to studying, I'm going to do just as you guys have said. I will think of the children because it really does motivate me when I hear of a girl of 8 years old passing away from cancer. It eats me inside and just sets me a blaze.
The only thing I want in my life is to have a job, to have a family I can support and live comfortably with and if my wife doesn't want to work then she wouldn't have to. To be able to take a vacation every now and then with them, and to be a man who would not be ashamed of his conduct. IE no porn! No cheating on my wife in ANYWAY. Not even with my own hand when I feel like I just need to get one out. (That might disturb some of the ladies here but guys, you know what im talking about!! Darn our carnal minds >.>)