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Author Topic: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!  (Read 8653 times)

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daywalker

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Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« on: July 10, 2011, 05:34:31 AM »


30 minutes ago, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. This was completely from left field to me because we get along great and we hardly ever argue (our last argument was over 2 months ago, and it was mild). She says it's her, she says she's changed and we're so different now, different dreams, different plans for the future...something like that... Anyway, never thought I'd be "divorced" before turning 28 years old. I'm in shock, practically paralyzed... I'm not okay...please pray for me! I'm very angry at God right now...I don't wanna be...but, I am.


Daywalker  :'(
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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2011, 06:09:55 AM »



That's nasty...real nasty...I am not saying your wife is nasty...the circumstances are nasty...real nasty...I feel for you...I feel for you both!

So sorry for the hurt and pain, grief and turmoil this event unleashes...so sorry...

May the agony be over soon for you both and lead you to quiet calm, peaceful healing and solitary wisdom in the Plan God appoints for you.

Arc
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grapehound

  • Guest
Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2011, 09:15:44 AM »

Amen Arc and John.
Christopher, so sorry to hear your awful news.
I've been there a couple of times myself and do empathise with what you're going through.
In my prayers.

Grape x
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newborn

  • Guest
Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2011, 10:55:14 AM »


30 minutes ago, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. This was completely from left field to me because we get along great and we hardly ever argue (our last argument was over 2 months ago, and it was mild). She says it's her, she says she's changed and we're so different now, different dreams, different plans for the future...something like that... Anyway, never thought I'd be "divorced" before turning 28 years old. I'm in shock, practically paralyzed... I'm not okay...please pray for me! I'm very angry at God right now...I don't wanna be...but, I am.


Daywalker  :'(

I am sorry to hear about your situation Daywalker...
God has plans for us that we really don't know about.
Pray and ask God for guidance and enlightenment.
God can turn any bad situation, into a good one.

Whenever I hear someone talk about having bad relationships..
I always remember this quote....

"A man's enemies will be the members of his own household;
 Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me;
 Anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
 And anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me;
 -Matthew 10:36-38

All I can say is, if God is MORE IMPORTANT in your life, you will follow HIM
on WHATEVER HE TELLS YOU.

Why do we need to follow HIM? Simply because HE is GOD, who sees all things
knows all things.. HE ALREADY KNOWS WHATS BEST FOR US, WE JUST HAVE
TO TRUST HIM HE WILL GIVE THE "REWARD" THAT HE PROMISED TO US.

Thats what we hold on to for.

"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
 Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"
-Numbers 23:19

We suffer all the persecutions of this world because we know and believe that we will
have "something better" in the future.
If there is nothing to hope for in the future, then we dont need to sacrifice.

But no, if you really believe in GOD, you know that HE has a reward for HIS loyal sons
who sacrifice day and night for HIM.

Always think about the end result 'the reward' from GOD, and you will always feel
"STRONG" and "FILLED WITH HOPE"

And my brother, always remember this COMMANDMENT FROM GOD, YOU SHOULD FOLLOW
THIS UNTIL THE END OF YOUR DAYS. THIS IS A COMMANDMENT.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
 with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
-Philippians 4:6

God be with you brother

-remo
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arion

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2011, 11:42:58 AM »

The trials and tests of life are never easy or expected when they occur.  This didn't take God by surprise as he knew it was coming all along.  There is a reason and a plan behind this trial even though right now you are consumed with the emotions of anger and grief.  When you get on the other side of this you will be able to look behind you and see God guiding you each step of the way.  His ways are not our ways and even though right now you can't see any possible way that any good will come out of this yet good will come out of this.  Your just going to have to trust him that he knows whats best in this situation.  Prayers for you both during this time and that God would give you peace of mind and wisdom beyond your years.
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G. Driggs

  • Guest
Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2011, 09:01:36 PM »

So sorry to hear that Christopher, my heart breaks for you. Will be praying for you both.

G.Driggs
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AwesomeSavior

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2011, 09:29:24 PM »

Dear Daywalker:

I am praying for you!

Dean
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lilitalienboi16

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #7 on: July 10, 2011, 11:04:26 PM »

wow dude thats terrible. I'm so sorry to hear that. I will definitely be praying for you man! If you're angry with God, don't beat yourself up about it, we never wanna be angry with Him but we're human and He knows it. He knows you're upset, so get mad at Him, get real with Him. He wants to hear it! He wants you to come to Him, even if its in anger frustration and sadness. I know its what I do, He's real to me, so no reason to hide how I really feel when I really am upset with Him. He already knows it anyway, so be real with Him!

Praying bro, please stay strong!

God bless,

Alex
« Last Edit: July 10, 2011, 11:08:02 PM by lilitalienboi16 »
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1 Cor 1:10 "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment."

JohnMichael

  • Guest
Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2011, 01:39:26 AM »

Day,

I can't think of anything to say that doesn't sound hollow or fall terribly short.

*big, big, warm hug*

This too shall pass, and "God will work it to the good." I know it's hard to see that right now, but it is the Truth.

I know how it feels to have your heart ripped out of your chest while you're still feeling, awake, and looking right at the person. The best scenario I can use to describe it is this: imagine your beloved ripping your heart out while you're embraced, throwing it on the ground, spitting on it, defecating on it, and ripping it into a million pieces (while you feel every act) while laughing maniacally. Then, the person walks off, gleefully, leaving you alone to tenderly and brokenly kneel down, eyes stinging from tears, and try to pick up the pieces that have been shattered into the size of a grain of sand. You feel so lost, and you can't breathe. That is just touching the very tip of the iceberg.

My heart aches with you, brother. You are in my prayers.

In His Love,
John
« Last Edit: July 11, 2011, 02:20:14 PM by JohnMichael »
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Roy Coates

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #9 on: July 11, 2011, 02:05:08 AM »

may God grant you healing, peace, grace, strength and understanding Amen
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cjwood

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2011, 03:23:15 AM »

dear christopher, my heart aches with you, in tandem.   :'(

5 yrs ago, on christmas eve morning, i opened the door into our computer room and found my husband web camming, frontal nudity and all, with a woman in another country.  out of left field for sure!  
as soon as i read your tragic post this evening, i felt the very same sickening kick, square in the solar plexus, just like i did 5 yrs ago.  

i am so sorry that you find yourself in a place now you never even considered you would ever have to arrive at. surreal at times, especially at first.   :'(
 
approximately 3 wks. ago i found out my husband (9mths dating/19yrs married, tomorrow actually)  :( , was having another online relationship, which then crossed into fantasy tales being written and passed between the two of them, which included multiple sex scenes.  this time it was with a woman i have considered my friend for the past 4 yrs.  this time, the options have been exhausted.  this time, it IS time, for me to proceed with separating myself from this marriage.  
  
the overwhelming, unbearable, deep ache in your heart is an actual pain, felt physically.  a bazillion questions and hypotheticals bombard your mind, weaving into your soul.  your very faith and trust that Father Creator loves us so much, that He draws us into His bosom of security and rest; as visualized in great hugs of affection, is put to the test, front and center.  circumstances cause so many questions.

i am now sitting here, trying to find words to soothe your heartache, and the sense that you have lost all direction. spun around like a top and left to land where you end up.

i am finding that sometimes, there are no words to say.
sometimes, the deafening silence can render us mute.
seemingly frozen, unable to move in any direction.  
but, christopher, the deep, deep silences are needed.  
just as the voices are, of our beloved brothers and sisters in Christ on this forum.

everyday for the past 3 wks. i wanted to post a request for prayer on my behalf, and for my husband.  to bare my pain.  to cry out that i was broken.  but, i was frozen.  stuck. 

now i get an inkling of why it was not time for me yet to 'go public'.

it's always about timing.  
God's perfect, precise timing.  
the time for your wife to expose her heart to you had not yet happened.

now, as brother and sister in His Truth, Love, heartbreak and pain, we can help carry each others' cross for a little while.   :)   

please forgive me dear daywalker, and forum family, for going on so long...

i will keep you in my prayers.  continually.
His peace will come. He gives us just enough light for our feet, so we don't trip up looking too far ahead.
Jesus Christ is our True Beloved.

claudia


  
 
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judith collier

  • Guest
Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #11 on: July 11, 2011, 04:10:05 AM »

Dearest Claudia and daywalker, there is nothing worse than loving someone wholeheartedly and being betrayed or have them change the entire picture of your life to the point you wonder what dream world you were living in and not noticing the little and subtle messages. For ten yrs. I either denied or ignored the messages, I just knew something was wrong.
My heart aches for the both of you. Just today a friend called and said her daughter's husband wanted out of the marriage for more freedom. Actually freedom had a picture, a beautiful blond woman across the street!!!!
Nothing hurts worse than a marriage turning badly.
It took many yrs. for me to get over it when i found my husband with my best friend but i did. One thing NEVER do!!!!!! Do not go over and over what YOU could have done better, it is their own decision thorougly distanced from anything concerning you!!!
The lie that was my life was over, it was a pretty lie with all the trimmings and children and security but it was not real, just my fantansy. I realized I didn't even know this man but I did find myself, my true self again and I am freer than he could ever dream of being. My eventual good and his eventual bad.
I grew, God was there and I am happy now. Someday you will be too!!!
My thoughts and prayers are with you both. love, judy
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Daddysgirl

  • Guest
Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #12 on: July 11, 2011, 11:34:48 AM »

Hi Christopher

I just wanted to let you know that my heart has been bleeding for you from yesterday when I first saw your post.. I can only imagine the state of your heart right now. Please just hang in there... all will make sense in God's perfect timing.

I am with you in prayer.

Matty
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Samson

  • Guest
Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #13 on: July 11, 2011, 08:53:57 PM »


30 minutes ago, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. This was completely from left field to me because we get along great and we hardly ever argue (our last argument was over 2 months ago, and it was mild). She says it's her, she says she's changed and we're so different now, different dreams, different plans for the future...something like that... Anyway, never thought I'd be "divorced" before turning 28 years old. I'm in shock, practically paralyzed... I'm not okay...please pray for me! I'm very angry at God right now...I don't wanna be...but, I am.


Daywalker  :'(


Christopher,

I'm Truly sorry about Your recent Trial. Yes, when confronted with sorrow that's completely surprising and totally unexpected, it's the worst kind. True, on an intellectual & Spiritual level, All of us at Bible Truths know that All is of God and it's part of God's plan for us to experience Evil in order to Humble us and it's a gradual process, but once again People make choices, because they DESIRE to do so and regardless of their motive, these choices can and often do hurt others. Your above sharing of the reality of getting Divorced based on the content of your Post is a surprising shock to Me and constitutes an emotional dagger. If there's anything within My circumstances that might be of benefit in Your behalf, please let Me know, your participation at this Forum is much appreciated by Me.

Also, I wrote you a PERSONAL MESSAGE, When you find the time, feel free to read and respond at your earliest convenience. My prayers go out in Your behalf the God Will have mercy on you using His divine influence to heal you and see you through this experience of Evil.

Your Brother in Christ, Samson.
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Samson

  • Guest
Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #14 on: July 11, 2011, 09:02:39 PM »

dear christopher, my heart aches with you, in tandem.   :'(

5 yrs ago, on christmas eve morning, i opened the door into our computer room and found my husband web camming, frontal nudity and all, with a woman in another country.  out of left field for sure!  
as soon as i read your tragic post this evening, i felt the very same sickening kick, square in the solar plexus, just like i did 5 yrs ago.  

i am so sorry that you find yourself in a place now you never even considered you would ever have to arrive at. surreal at times, especially at first.   :'(
 
approximately 3 wks. ago i found out my husband (9mths dating/19yrs married, tomorrow actually)  :( , was having another online relationship, which then crossed into fantasy tales being written and passed between the two of them, which included multiple sex scenes.  this time it was with a woman i have considered my friend for the past 4 yrs.  this time, the options have been exhausted.  this time, it IS time, for me to proceed with separating myself from this marriage.  
  
the overwhelming, unbearable, deep ache in your heart is an actual pain, felt physically.  a bazillion questions and hypotheticals bombard your mind, weaving into your soul.  your very faith and trust that Father Creator loves us so much, that He draws us into His bosom of security and rest; as visualized in great hugs of affection, is put to the test, front and center.  circumstances cause so many questions.

i am now sitting here, trying to find words to soothe your heartache, and the sense that you have lost all direction. spun around like a top and left to land where you end up.

i am finding that sometimes, there are no words to say.
sometimes, the deafening silence can render us mute.
seemingly frozen, unable to move in any direction.  
but, christopher, the deep, deep silences are needed.  
just as the voices are, of our beloved brothers and sisters in Christ on this forum.

everyday for the past 3 wks. i wanted to post a request for prayer on my behalf, and for my husband.  to bare my pain.  to cry out that i was broken.  but, i was frozen.  stuck. 

now i get an inkling of why it was not time for me yet to 'go public'.

it's always about timing.  
God's perfect, precise timing.  
the time for your wife to expose her heart to you had not yet happened.

now, as brother and sister in His Truth, Love, heartbreak and pain, we can help carry each others' cross for a little while.   :)   

please forgive me dear daywalker, and forum family, for going on so long...

i will keep you in my prayers.  continually.
His peace will come. He gives us just enough light for our feet, so we don't trip up looking too far ahead.
Jesus Christ is our True Beloved.

claudia


  
 


Claudia,

Indeed, as with Christopher, I'm truly sorry for Your ordeal too, it seems that many of Us at Bible Truths share experiences in this Emotional relationship pain. I read John From Kentucky's Post and that adds to the mix, He was in His late Twenties too and had it all taken away from Him(Wife & Children). I don't wish any of this on anyone. I sent you a PERSONAL MESSAGE too, only hoping to help. I'm truly sorry you are suffering. When experiencing these emotional trials, AT THAT TIME, it doesn't seem fair, only later on, Do We get the answer as to WHY.

                            With Agapeo, Samson.
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Linny

  • Guest
Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #15 on: July 12, 2011, 01:26:51 AM »

Christopher and Claudia,
I was so sorry to read of the trials you both are going through.
I pray that your pain will bring you closer, rather than further, from God.
I realize this is probably a difficult concept right now.
The pain of loss of a loved one is so heart wrenching.
You are both in my prayers.
Love, Lin
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eggi

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #16 on: July 12, 2011, 04:46:31 AM »

Dear Daywalker, and all,

I just know that God will see you through in this, even though it feels devastating now. I will pray for both you and your wife, and all others on the Forum who have passed through similar experiences.

God bless you all,
Eirik
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Here’s how to tell if you have faith; how do you live… what do you do… what do you accomplish in life… what are your goals… What is there about you that proves that you have this faith and belief inside of you? What?

jingle52

  • Guest
Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #17 on: July 12, 2011, 08:31:57 AM »

I’m so sorry for your current circumstances Daywalker, I add my prayers to the above brothers and sisters in empathising/sympathising and supporting you in this current heartbreak and pain.
Claudia, Judy, Johnmichael and the testimonies of others who went through this heartbreak or similar experiences (as I also have), it is devastating to know that someone so close and loved has betrayed that trust you had in them. When we take our vows, we are convinced in that moment it will be for better or for worse (and that the worse can be worked through), but often times it is not. :(
The truths that we have come to know has made and will make us stronger and give us peace, but the daily struggles and trials of our lives we have to live through, as this is God’s will.
God Bless us all! :D

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daywalker

  • Guest
Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #18 on: July 12, 2011, 01:44:36 PM »

dear christopher, my heart aches with you, in tandem.   :'(

5 yrs ago, on christmas eve morning, i opened the door into our computer room and found my husband web camming, frontal nudity and all, with a woman in another country.  out of left field for sure!  
as soon as i read your tragic post this evening, i felt the very same sickening kick, square in the solar plexus, just like i did 5 yrs ago.  

i am so sorry that you find yourself in a place now you never even considered you would ever have to arrive at. surreal at times, especially at first.   :'(
 
approximately 3 wks. ago i found out my husband (9mths dating/19yrs married, tomorrow actually)  :( , was having another online relationship, which then crossed into fantasy tales being written and passed between the two of them, which included multiple sex scenes.  this time it was with a woman i have considered my friend for the past 4 yrs.  this time, the options have been exhausted.  this time, it IS time, for me to proceed with separating myself from this marriage.  
  
the overwhelming, unbearable, deep ache in your heart is an actual pain, felt physically.  a bazillion questions and hypotheticals bombard your mind, weaving into your soul.  your very faith and trust that Father Creator loves us so much, that He draws us into His bosom of security and rest; as visualized in great hugs of affection, is put to the test, front and center.  circumstances cause so many questions.

i am now sitting here, trying to find words to soothe your heartache, and the sense that you have lost all direction. spun around like a top and left to land where you end up.

i am finding that sometimes, there are no words to say.
sometimes, the deafening silence can render us mute.
seemingly frozen, unable to move in any direction.  
but, christopher, the deep, deep silences are needed.  
just as the voices are, of our beloved brothers and sisters in Christ on this forum.

everyday for the past 3 wks. i wanted to post a request for prayer on my behalf, and for my husband.  to bare my pain.  to cry out that i was broken.  but, i was frozen.  stuck. 

now i get an inkling of why it was not time for me yet to 'go public'.

it's always about timing.  
God's perfect, precise timing.  
the time for your wife to expose her heart to you had not yet happened.

now, as brother and sister in His Truth, Love, heartbreak and pain, we can help carry each others' cross for a little while.   :)   

please forgive me dear daywalker, and forum family, for going on so long...

i will keep you in my prayers.  continually.
His peace will come. He gives us just enough light for our feet, so we don't trip up looking too far ahead.
Jesus Christ is our True Beloved.

claudia


 

O my gosh, Claudia! I'm so sorry. I'll keep you in my prayers as well.

Christopher
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daywalker

  • Guest
Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #19 on: July 12, 2011, 01:53:36 PM »


Hey,

I just wanted to thank EVERYONE for your overwhelming support. Each post was inspiring and well-received. These last few days have been the very worst of my life. I know that God works all out for good, but right now it's hard to see that through these tearful eyes. Now, that this has happened, I can look back and see some of the warning signs, but unfortunately at the time, they were too subtle. I soo wish that we could atleast try to work it out, but she's convinced it's over. She says she loves me and I'm her best friend, but she's no longer "in love" with me. Not the kind of words you wanna hear from your significant other.

Thanks again everyone for your love and support.

Christopher
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