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Author Topic: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!  (Read 8358 times)

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jassy

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #20 on: July 12, 2011, 03:58:29 PM »


I waited ,Christopher ,until I was sure your wife did not have a bad day and hurt you in the course of it. But it seems she has made up her mind.
So very sorry, and sorry to all those who shared so much pain they have endured. I dont know you but my heart aches, and thats not over emotionalism. Thats empathy. I spoke long to my husband who is away on contract after I read your posts. I just needed to hear his voice.

I have not been through this but have  loved ones who have. Dont dull the pain with antidepressants or by any other artificial means Christopher . It only takes longer to work through. Other than that I have nothing to add that can help. Just  that you are in my prayers. And my sisters whose husband walked out on her the day before Christmass many years ago  and left her with two little girls. She and I prayed hard for you.

God bless and keep you my young friend

Jassy.
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Duane

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #21 on: July 12, 2011, 06:57:29 PM »

Yesterday my sister once again chided me for my involvement with B-T because I was "forsaking the assembling of ourselves together" with others of like faith by not going to church to worship.
Now why would I bring this up right in the middle of heart-break from our members?  Because if this forum isn't the "assembling together of believers" for the encouragement and edification of each other I don't know what is!
My prayers are with you both Claudia and daywalker, as we all join together with each other for prayer and support.  Duane
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lilitalienboi16

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #22 on: July 13, 2011, 03:02:01 AM »


Hey,

I just wanted to thank EVERYONE for your overwhelming support. Each post was inspiring and well-received. These last few days have been the very worst of my life. I know that God works all out for good, but right now it's hard to see that through these tearful eyes. Now, that this has happened, I can look back and see some of the warning signs, but unfortunately at the time, they were too subtle. I soo wish that we could atleast try to work it out, but she's convinced it's over. She says she loves me and I'm her best friend, but she's no longer "in love" with me. Not the kind of words you wanna hear from your significant other.

Thanks again everyone for your love and support.

Christopher

Still praying every night for you dear brother and will continue to do so. I know Words do the pain you feel no justice, there is nothing to say but just know you do not hurt alone.
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1 Cor 1:10 "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment."

Cypress

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #23 on: July 13, 2011, 09:50:40 AM »

:( will pray for you & Claudia. *hugs*

Elaine
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Elaine

JohnMichael

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #24 on: July 13, 2011, 01:15:04 PM »


Hey,

I just wanted to thank EVERYONE for your overwhelming support. Each post was inspiring and well-received. These last few days have been the very worst of my life. I know that God works all out for good, but right now it's hard to see that through these tearful eyes. Now, that this has happened, I can look back and see some of the warning signs, but unfortunately at the time, they were too subtle. I soo wish that we could atleast try to work it out, but she's convinced it's over. She says she loves me and I'm her best friend, but she's no longer "in love" with me. Not the kind of words you wanna hear from your significant other.

Thanks again everyone for your love and support.

Christopher

Hi Christopher,

I just wanted to post some comforting scriptures. I don't mean this as a hollow regurgitation of scripture. These are posted with the desire to help and comfort you in your time of heartache.

Psa 147:3  He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.

Isa 61:1  The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
Isa 61:2  To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;
Isa 61:3  To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

Job 5:18  For he maketh sore, and bindeth up: he woundeth, and his hands make whole.

Mal 4:2  But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.

Psa 91:1  He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
Psa 91:2  I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
Psa 91:3  Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
Psa 91:4  He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Psa 91:5  Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;
Psa 91:6  Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
Psa 91:7  A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Psa 91:8  Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Psa 91:9  Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
Psa 91:10  There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
Psa 91:11  For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
Psa 91:12  They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
Psa 91:13  Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
Psa 91:14  Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.

Rth 2:12  The LORD recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhF-OG_3_wU&feature=related

Here's hoping these bring you comfort and healing in your time of grief. :(

In His Love,
John
« Last Edit: July 13, 2011, 01:18:24 PM by JohnMichael »
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cjwood

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #25 on: July 14, 2011, 03:45:51 AM »

dear brother christopher, i just wanted to let you know i've been thinking about you and your well-being.

i was driving through the tx hill country, coming home from my sister's the other evening at sunset, and God put you on my heart really big.  i pray that each day which passes will bring you closer to the love of our LORD, and that His peace will come to you, here a little, there a little, until you can one day truly accept, and come to the place in your heart, mind, and soul that even this horrible, horrible, pain is part of your journey to Him.  perhaps you have already done this.  i know i am having trouble with this in my life.  but, i know HE will NEVER leave us.  EVER...

claudia
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Deborah-Leigh

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #26 on: July 14, 2011, 01:33:15 PM »



A lovely song JohnMichael...

It is beautiful to see the heart felt warm empathy, kindness, love and prayer being felt and said for you Christopher and for you too Claudia, including those being said for you in silence and private.

Isa 53:3 ........... a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief:

Arc
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crazy4bam

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #27 on: July 14, 2011, 02:40:29 PM »

Christopher,

        I am very sorry to hear about your troubles. Samson read it to me, and all I can think of was...Shame on her! Don't let this harden your heart. I know it is easier said then done. Our Father above loves you and is there comforting even if you can't feel it right know. I wish I had more to say to comfort you. It is old and a cliche but time does heal all things. I will keep you in prayers and hope that someday you can find the love you greatly deserve.

                                                                             Pam
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tau

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #28 on: July 14, 2011, 05:10:03 PM »

At times when words fail me, I am reminded of Job...

Job 2:11  Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him.
Job 2:12  And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven.
Job 2:13  So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.

My prayers are with all of you who are going through the valley of the shadow of death...

tau
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Gabriel

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #29 on: July 14, 2011, 10:07:30 PM »

Christopher, I'm so sorry my brother. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. But I'll pray for you, and I know many of our Brothers and Sisters, here at bible-truths are praying too.  :) If you need someone to talk to, you can PM or chat with me, on facebook for as long as you like.

Gabriel

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daywalker

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #30 on: July 15, 2011, 04:32:24 PM »


Thank you again everyone for your overwhelming love, prayers and support.

I am feeling much better today, though I'd be lying if I said the hardest part was over. But I've come to accept that she really is serious about this divorce and that there's no turning back or reconciliation. In her own words, she says she "loves me, but is not longer in-love with me". She said when she looks at me she sees her best friend and nothing more. This is very hard for me to hear because I was that guy in high school that tended to get stuck in the "friend zone" with girls. I was the nice, sweet, brother-like friend that every girl loved to hang out with, but none wanted to date. So hearing my wife say that to me made me real bitter and i can't help but feel a little resentment toward her. though I can't fault her for being honest. it sucks but it is what it is.

I think the hardest part for me will be making myself "fall out of love" with her, yet still find a way to be friends. How does one make themselves "not" love someone romantically, yet still love them as a friend? I don't know how, but I don't think God wants her completely out of my life either. We've been together 8 years and being that I am 27 and she is 25, those are real important years, growing together from adolescents to adults. I met her when she was a senior in high school and was with her all the way through college years and beyond. She's been a huge part of my life and I really do hope she can continue to be...though it will be sooo very hard to do at first.

The good news is we are on speaking terms. In fact, we've been talking via google chat every day. (she is staying with a friend until next week) We seem to be on the same page as far as what needs to be done from here on and we both want to make this as smooth as possible. I guess thank God we dont have any kids! LOL.

Anyway, I've accepted that she doesn't want to be with me, and I definetely don't want to be with someone who doesn't feel for me like I feel for them. So, now it's time to move forward. Just so you all know, you may not hear as much from me for awhile, but know that I am here. We shutdown the Internet at home and I probably wont have it at my new place for a few months at least so only at work can I get online. But even then I will probably read a lot more than I will speak while these wounds heal.


Thanks again for everything. I love all of you!

Christopher  8)
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onelovedread

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #31 on: July 16, 2011, 11:45:03 AM »

My brother, all I can say is to trust God and never give up. Believe it or not, the same thing happened to me in 1999 just one year after I had gotten married. What made it worse was that my wife was still in Jamaica and declared that she did not want to join me here in New York. I would travel back to Jamaica every 4 months at that time and it was during one of those trips that she told me she did not love me any more and wanted her freedom. I bawled like a baby and returned to Brooklyn a heartbroken man. I remember putting all our letters, wedding pictures and mementos in a box and feeling the pain which you are now describing. I remember the big hole in my heart.
One day I was listening to a Men's Retreat message by a popular preacher who said that God could restore marriages although they were apparently broken forever.
In 2002, she migrated here and lived in another borough of New York. I was only in contact by phone as we have a daughter who was also still in Jamaica. 
In 2004 the Lord brought us back into contact, and in early 2005, we were reconciled and are still together. If God's will is for you two to be together, He will restore in His time. Just don't say never and in your pain, still trust God, Christopher. I am praying for you.
John (onelovedread)
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judith collier

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #32 on: July 16, 2011, 05:10:02 PM »

Dear Claudia and Christopher, still thinking and praying for the both of you! Please remember what i said before, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! For yrs I plagued myself with guilt over not having been a better wife. This was fruitless and took a terrible toll on me. Then I started on a road to perfection which almost killed me, totally over doing it! Nothing worked. I lived in the past and prayed continually but God was silent and until I gave it up and surrendered (obviously don't surrender easily) did some peace come, still grieved but a balance started to come wherby God restored me and showed me His love and that I was in His eyes His spouse.
The thought of FALLING in love now with a human being is so foreign, sure it would be nice to have a personal lover but when I think of all that goes with it, I shudder. Something in me died and really don't see that ever being ressurrected. I am very happy with the love of God in me for me and others. I live for my Savior now. judy
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newborn

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Re: Welp, the Divorce rate just spiked!!
« Reply #33 on: July 16, 2011, 07:50:27 PM »


Thank you again everyone for your overwhelming love, prayers and support.

I am feeling much better today, though I'd be lying if I said the hardest part was over. But I've come to accept that she really is serious about this divorce and that there's no turning back or reconciliation. In her own words, she says she "loves me, but is not longer in-love with me". She said when she looks at me she sees her best friend and nothing more. This is very hard for me to hear because I was that guy in high school that tended to get stuck in the "friend zone" with girls. I was the nice, sweet, brother-like friend that every girl loved to hang out with, but none wanted to date. So hearing my wife say that to me made me real bitter and i can't help but feel a little resentment toward her. though I can't fault her for being honest. it sucks but it is what it is.

I think the hardest part for me will be making myself "fall out of love" with her, yet still find a way to be friends. How does one make themselves "not" love someone romantically, yet still love them as a friend? I don't know how, but I don't think God wants her completely out of my life either. We've been together 8 years and being that I am 27 and she is 25, those are real important years, growing together from adolescents to adults. I met her when she was a senior in high school and was with her all the way through college years and beyond. She's been a huge part of my life and I really do hope she can continue to be...though it will be sooo very hard to do at first.

The good news is we are on speaking terms. In fact, we've been talking via google chat every day. (she is staying with a friend until next week) We seem to be on the same page as far as what needs to be done from here on and we both want to make this as smooth as possible. I guess thank God we dont have any kids! LOL.

Anyway, I've accepted that she doesn't want to be with me, and I definetely don't want to be with someone who doesn't feel for me like I feel for them. So, now it's time to move forward. Just so you all know, you may not hear as much from me for awhile, but know that I am here. We shutdown the Internet at home and I probably wont have it at my new place for a few months at least so only at work can I get online. But even then I will probably read a lot more than I will speak while these wounds heal.


Thanks again for everything. I love all of you!

Christopher  8)


Just hang tight my brother...
We are here for you...
God is always with you...

Godbless us all..

-RemO
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