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[JohnMichael]

Hi Brothers & Sisters,

My thoughts have been changing of late - in a good way, I think. I was once so caught up on being a "Chosen," but in reality, I don't know if I am one. I might be, but only He knows. The desire of my heart has been changing from one of being in the few to one of being a good, faithful, and pleasing servant to Him. Is that wrong? The parable of the prodigal son has really been hitting home of late. I'm not, in any way, worthy to be a son, but maybe, just maybe, I can be a servant. If I'm not in the first resurrection, then I know He will be just and righteous in whatever judgment I need to go through in the second. My sole desire is to be with Him - nay, to be one with Him. He already decided which one I'll be in, and I'm starting to really come to terms with that.

Claudia said something in Christopher's post that really hit home. It's seems like such a simple statement, but it is so vast in meaning. "He NEVER leaves us, EVER." I know I can't please Him on my own, and I will only be able to do that through His working in/through me. On my own, I would be anything but pleasing. My righteousness is filthy rags - an extension of my own selfish, sinful carnality. I'm so easily beset by pride and lust - even when I try to do good on my own, evil is present.

God has been showing me just how weak I am. I thought I knew, but I'm learning with each passing day, that what I thought I knew wasn't even scratching the surface. I need Him - not just want, but need. This weight of sorrow over what I've done is unbearable at times. When I start thinking about all the times I broke His commandments, all the people I've hurt, etc, I feel so abominable.

He must increase, and I must decrease. Period. My own life and soul aren't mine. They are His, and they always have been. I'm learning that nothing I have belongs to me - internal or external. They are all gifts from Him; and the Lord giveth, and He taketh away.

Is it wrong of me to desire to be a pleasing servant?

In His Love,
John

[crazy4bam]

John,
 
  It is not wrong to desire to be a pleasing servant. This IMAO we all desire to be closer to him one way or another. Some believe they are the chosen but are they? You, me and everyone on the forum want almost the same has you. You just have the heart to question your desire. Has for myself I question everything I have done or will be doing, but he is the only one to answer.
  Most people forget when they pray for to our Heavenly Father for guidance or assistance he does it all on his time, not ours. Like in the prodigal son the father waited and waited for his son to return. The other son just kept working hard at pleasing his father and was jealous when his brother came home. Their father hugged his lost and wayward son and threw a feast in his name. Think about this Jesus is the father in that story. He is waiting and waiting for us. Their are people out there trying everything to please him and he still stands there with open arms waiting. When we do get to him his warm arms hugs and makes feel like we are home. When that happens its like a big feast in our hearts and minds to want more of the truth. We have some of the truth and everyday we get a little more. So, desire to be his servant, and he will show you more of his love everyday one way or another.

    This may not answer your question but I wanted to let you know what my thoughts were and that they come from the carnal heart of woman! So, on that I am going to grab my female emotions and go do some crying like you men do in secret!  Ha! Ha!


                                                                         Pam

[jopie]

Hi John.
I like your pondering.
I thought to myself, if only I can be aware of His presence all the time, then I don't have to wonder what He is up to or what He wants to do in my life.
I have my very existence (have being or reality) in Him.
I can't  get away from God. "Where shall I go from Thy presence".
 
Nice response Pam.

Blessings to you.
John.

[arion]

I'm with you on that one John.  I don't know if I am to be one of his elect or just a doorkeeper in his temple.  It doesn't matter.  He is God and He fashions vessels for honor and dishonor.  It's all up to him and He does as he pleases.  One thing that I do know is that He loves us, his creation passionately and His will be done. 

[Kat]

Hi John,

You know I think that is the right attitude to desire to service, other than seeking the position as Chosen/Elect. You would also be in good company as a servant of Jesus Christ.

2Peter 1:1  Simon Peter, a servant and an apostle of Jesus Christ, to those who have obtained like precious faith with us through the righteousness of our God and our Savior Jesus Christ,

Rom 1:1  Paul, a servant of Jesus Christ, a called apostle, separated to the gospel of God

Jude 1:1  Jude, a servant of Jesus Christ, and brother of James, to the ones called in God the Father, having been set apart, and having been kept by Jesus Christ:

James 1:1  James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes in the Dispersion, greeting:

Php 1:1  Paul and Timothy, the servants of Jesus Christ, to all the saints in Christ Jesus who are at Philippi, with the overseers and deacons.

mercy, peace and love
Kat

[Joel]

Some times the experiences God gives us in life have a way of bringing us down from pride and arrogance, to a more liveable, peacefull, humility.

Psalms 84:10
For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand. I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.

Joel

[acomplishedartis]

I find it incredible, how can it be possible for forum mmebers living so far away, with so many different backgrounds, some have not even met in person once, and that where raised in different towns, cities or countries,  to be able to think so alike, It brakes so many geographycal statistics... In all these thread I have read things that I agree  with them all, and it feels like these are things that I would write myself!

I am sure theses is a good sign regarding these online forum community space that we can still share.

[JohnMichael]

The best way to describe what I've been coming face to face with is within this scenario:

You truly and genuinely desire to give someone a gift. You start examining what you have, both internal and external, and you are struck in the face by the overwhelming realization that nothing, absolutely nothing, you have is a worthy gift. Everything you have is refuse and filth.

That is one of the most humbling and helpless feelings in the world. Being force-fed humble pie, or figuratively speaking, when God gets the belt... Wow! That has to be one of the most painful, if not THE most painful, things in the world. When God holds up a mirror to you, and shows you what sickening, disgusting traits you have, and not just your traits, but who and what you are... you are left so naked, and you are rendered absolutely speechless to say anything in your defense. You can't even choke out, "I'm sorry," because it sounds so hollow... all you can do is uncontrollably sob.

In His Love,
John

[cjwood]

... When God holds up a mirror to you, and shows you what sickening, disgusting traits you have, and not just your traits, but who and what you are... you are left so naked, and you are rendered absolutely speechless to say anything in your defense...

john, i bolded the above part of your post because i felt the very same things a few days ago.  but, instead of sobbing (this time anyway   ) i found myself dropping my head in my hands and covering my eyes, trying to hide.  i KNOW i can NEVER hide from my Father Creator, but i guess in the covering of my eyes i was trying to hide from the shame.  kinda like turning away from His mirror; away from the disgusting face of the beast that lives within...

but, dear little brother in Christ, we will be okay.  we will ALL be okay.  

the changes you are witnessing in the desire of your heart, wanting only to be with and one with Him, no matter which resurrection He has willed for you to be in, is honest and honorable.  Jesus Christ Himself was our best example of what a servant's humble heart looks like.  

stand strong in that awesome faith He has given you.

claudia

[newborn]

Hi Brothers & Sisters,

My thoughts have been changing of late - in a good way, I think. I was once so caught up on being a "Chosen," but in reality, I don't know if I am one. I might be, but only He knows. The desire of my heart has been changing from one of being in the few to one of being a good, faithful, and pleasing servant to Him. Is that wrong? The parable of the prodigal son has really been hitting home of late. I'm not, in any way, worthy to be a son, but maybe, just maybe, I can be a servant. If I'm not in the first resurrection, then I know He will be just and righteous in whatever judgment I need to go through in the second. My sole desire is to be with Him - nay, to be one with Him. He already decided which one I'll be in, and I'm starting to really come to terms with that.

Claudia said something in Christopher's post that really hit home. It's seems like such a simple statement, but it is so vast in meaning. "He NEVER leaves us, EVER." I know I can't please Him on my own, and I will only be able to do that through His working in/through me. On my own, I would be anything but pleasing. My righteousness is filthy rags - an extension of my own selfish, sinful carnality. I'm so easily beset by pride and lust - even when I try to do good on my own, evil is present.

God has been showing me just how weak I am. I thought I knew, but I'm learning with each passing day, that what I thought I knew wasn't even scratching the surface. I need Him - not just want, but need. This weight of sorrow over what I've done is unbearable at times. When I start thinking about all the times I broke His commandments, all the people I've hurt, etc, I feel so abominable.

He must increase, and I must decrease. Period. My own life and soul aren't mine. They are His, and they always have been. I'm learning that nothing I have belongs to me - internal or external. They are all gifts from Him; and the Lord giveth, and He taketh away.

Is it wrong of me to desire to be a pleasing servant?

In His Love,
John

Your words are unselfish... I admire your humility my brother.
Very few I knew, I can count with my fingers, who speaks the
way you do... very few indeed.

I am glad I have met people like you in this forum.

Stay humble my brother

Peace

--RemO

[G. Driggs]

It's incredibly tough and painful to face the beast within. Sometimes it's seems like too much. It's a miracle I still have any hope of being saved from it, especially lately.

This thread reminded me of something Ray said in one his papers. I hope it helps and encourages you as it did me.

http://www.bible-truths.com/lake14.html

LET ME KNOW

Are you beginning to SEE IT? Is God giving you understanding? Do you see the grand and marvelous wisdom of it all? Drop me an email—let me know. I want to know how many out there in computerland are beginning to have ears to hear and eyes to see.

THANK GOD, that I (L. Ray Smith) had fallen away, left my first love, looked back, forsook the Lord, and watched my house upon the sand come crashing down! Only then was I able to stand upon the sand of the sea, and see the beast within, the man of sin, the son of perdition, and Satan the devil who DECEIVED ME!

But NOW, "I am crucified WITH Christ: nevertheless I live: yet not I, but Christ lives IN ME: and the life which I now life in the flesh I live by the faith OF the Son of God, who loved ME [and YOU], and gave Himself for ME [and YOU]" (Gal. 2:20).

In conclusion:

    "I was in the Spirit on the Lord’s day, and heard BEHIND me a great voice, as of a trumpet… And I turned to see the voice that spoke with ME. And being TURNED, I saw seven gold candlesticks; [the complete church of God in all generations, with MY sins outlined in each and every one of them] And in the midst of the seven candlesticks one like unto the Son of man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps with a golden girdle.

    His head and His hairs were white like wool, as white as snow; and His eyes were as a flame of fire; [PURGING all who look upon Him] And His feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned [refined] in a furnace; and His voice as the sound of many waters. And he had in His right hand seven stars: and out of His mouth went a sharp two-edged sword, and His countenance was as the SUN SHINING IN HIS STRENGTH [no longer a physical body with HOLES in it].

    And when I saw Him [in my SPIRIT] I fell at His feet as DEAD. And He laid His right hand upon ME [as He will upon YOU], saying unto ME [and unto YOU],

    FEAR NOT" (Rev. 1:10-17).

Truly:  "We have seen the enemy and he is US."
--------------
Thanks for the fellowship.

G.Driggs

[newborn]

I find it incredible, how can it be possible for forum mmebers living so far away, with so many different backgrounds, some have not even met in person once, and that where raised in different towns, cities or countries,  to be able to think so alike, It brakes so many geographycal statistics... In all these thread I have read things that I agree  with them all, and it feels like these are things that I would write myself!

I am sure theses is a good sign regarding these online forum community space that we can still share.

Amen to that my brother... I thought of the same...
God is so marvelous, it doesn't matter what race,
location or background we came from. With God,
nothing is impossible....

-reMo

[judith collier]

G.Driggs, you gave me the goose bumps!!! How good to be like minded with the confirmation of other believers!
judy