Good afternoon everyone. God brought me to this forum in response to my prayers for fellowship as I just left my church (last Sunday), after being brought to the realization that what the church is teaching me is not the truth God wants me to know. I have only been in the church system 1½ yrs (since Jan05). I see God is wasting no time with me in revealing to me His love of the Truth. Because I am new, I feel it appropriate to share with you my testimony. I'll start at the very beginning, please excuse the length, but you may as well know it all.
I was born into a catholic (not overly-zealous Catholic I might add) family. Always wanting to know my destiny, I recall at a young age always wondering why I was here and what the purpose of life was.
When I was 16, a certain friend came into my life, and from the first time I met him, he told me that God had revealed to me that he should teach me about God and the scriptures....he said as soon as he met me, he knew it was I who God had spoke to him of. For the next six months, we read the bible together almost daily. I instantly believed what I read and enjoyed reading. After these 6 months, he moved away, I continued to read God’s word, but eventually strayed to my own life…got married, had children, and just lived for myself basically.
20 years later, after moving to a small town, a new friend told me about a children’s youth group called Awana. God was important to me (although I wasn’t living for him), and I knew I hadn’t raised my kids to know God, so I signed them up for this group in hopes they could come to know God. Then this friend mentioned that a women’s bible study was to be started during the Awana hour and a half...so I joined that as well, within 4 months I had joined the local community church (who sponsored Awana), was baptized 2 months later, and was right into the word of God. I wanted to learn as much as I could, I was like a sponge, never missed one Sunday at church, got involved within the church, joined small groups, literally went from one extreme to the other (as my husband put it). This continued for almost a year when I realized I didn’t feel completely fulfilled. I prayed to God always that he would reveal to me my purpose for Him, I prayed that He would give me knowledge and truth regarding His word, I asked an elder at my church what I had to do to “die to self” for Jesus (he said it takes a life-time), I was questioning what it meant to be spiritual. I read God’s word with intent, and shared it among other believers with all zeal. I was always happiest when I was talking about God (even as now I am).
After being exposed to the church (and their teachings) during this time (9 months), I started to question my salvation…I couldn’t pinpoint what time in that year I had actually “accepted Jesus” into my heart…I knew I had the holy spirit within me, so I figured I had to have been “born again”, but I honestly couldn’t remember “saying the prayer” or accepting Jesus, like some people know the exact date. I wondered what the verse meant “Every knee will bow, every tongue will confess….” if only those who accepted Jesus were going to be with God forever, would even those who didn’t accept Him bow to him and what, in hell? I wondered why my friend of 20 years back didn’t tell me I had to “ACCEPT” Jesus into my heart. He told me of no such thing, he didn’t even go to church, and I didn’t question it – what he taught me just seemed normal.
So after starting to question these things within my own self, I prayed to God more fervently to reveal to me truths about His word. During this whole year of being involved in the church, and learning about God, I never once went on the internet for biblical information. I studied my bible, and read a few other books. One of our church elders did a sermon on January 1, 2006 and he said that we (the church) should not argue about doctrines revealed in the bible, that we shouldn’t waste our effort on discussing differences people may have about certain scripture, then he said, “unless it affects salvation”. He went on to say that if anyone is called by God to come away from the church, to discuss it with the elders so they may know what’s going on…. I thought absolutely nothing of this sermon, I didn’t feel like he was speaking directly to me at all….and then THAT VERY WEEK I came across Ray Smith’s website….I don’t even remember how I got there, or what I looked for, but the article that got my attention was Lazarus and the Rich Man, and after I read it, I realized that I was being lead astray by the “very church I was called into”. Of course, I’ve studied other articles on Ray’s web site and after this initial week of studying (it just so happened I was on a weeks’ vacation), I then realized that the sermon the elder had just spoken of that Sunday was speaking to me!
After these revelations, I spoke to some of my church-going friends and they all thought I was going through a “trial” and once I over-came, God would use me effectively. They thought Satan had gotten hold of me and I was deceived. I struggled for the next 6 months about what to do, and the more I sat in church and listened to the heresies being preached; the more I felt disgusted and couldn’t handle to hear the lies any longer. I made a list of the reasons why I wanted to leave the church, and to my surprise, they were all “selfish”, there was not one reason for me to stay that brought God glory.
Two weeks ago I presented the elders of our church (our church is without a pastor) a letter stating I was leaving and why. I did it because Jesus promised me in 2 Cor 6:17 “Wherefore come out from among them and be ye separate saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing and I will receive you”. I want nothing more than to be received by Jesus. So now it’s only been two weeks and I honestly feel more fulfilled now than when I was deep within my church and their teachings. I have only Jesus to thank for revealing Himself to me, and I thank him daily for His Word that brings me such peace and satisfaction.
I look forward to fellowshipping with like-believers. Here’s to Him!
Marie
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Topic: My Testimony (Read 3995 times)