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JohnMichael:
Hi All,

I know this may seem mundane to others, but to me this is a real struggle right now. As I am not currently working and am in school, I live with my parents. Thus, I abide by their rules, and I do what is asked of me by them - "Honor thy Father and thy Mother" / "Children, obey your parents". I help around the house in order to "earn my keep."

It is, however, reaching a point where it is a struggle to maintain what I need to do with what they ask of me. School takes up a LOT of my time, but it is interrupted due to having to watch and care for animals that are not mine, chores, etc. - that I am commanded (in a sense) to do.

In all this, I am trying, by His influence, to remember and have this attitude:

Col 3:22  Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God:
Col 3:23  And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
Col 3:24  Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

Eph 6:6  Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;
Eph 6:7  With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:
Eph 6:8  Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.

Please pray that His will be done. My hope is that I will have His Grace to know His will, and therefore, do it gladly as unto Him.

In Him,
John

Ireland:
Hi John, I understand your situation. Let me just say that you are a real blessing to this forum and very much appreciated! My hope is that God will give you peace about this situation and favor too. Doesn't hurt to ask, right? You have alot of understanding and wisdom, so I am sure God is teaching you patience just like all of us here :P. Please be encouraged and take care of yourself. Thanks for your effort and replies that bless many of us here.

Craig:
John I can understand your dilemma but you will get little sympathy from me.  If you lived on your own and went to school how much more would you struggle and be interrupted during your studies?  There is a thing called rent payments, electric payments, water, trash, cable, phone etc etc.  You will spend much more time earning the money to support yourself.  Your appliances break, plumbing has problems, yard needs mowed etc etc, then even more of your study time is interrupted.  The way it is now your parents are letting you get by by you not having to be responsible to eat, stay warm, have a place to sleep. 

What is that worth?  Even if you worked for your parent for several hours a day you are still way ahead with your time then if you had to support yourself.  Be thankful you are able to go to school and not worrying about where your next meal will come from.  Earn your keep at home, I guarantee you are costing your parents more by staying then you are giving by helping with the chores.

May God give you the strength to suck it up.

Craig

JohnMichael:

--- Quote from: Craig on August 26, 2011, 07:53:18 AM ---John I can understand your dilemma but you will get little sympathy from me.  If you lived on your own and went to school how much more would you struggle and be interrupted during your studies?  There is a thing called rent payments, electric payments, water, trash, cable, phone etc etc.  You will spend much more time earning the money to support yourself.  Your appliances break, plumbing has problems, yard needs mowed etc etc, then even more of your study time is interrupted.  The way it is now your parents are letting you get by by you not having to be responsible to eat, stay warm, have a place to sleep. 

What is that worth?  Even if you worked for your parent for several hours a day you are still way ahead with your time then if you had to support yourself.  Be thankful you are able to go to school and not worrying about where your next meal will come from.  Earn your keep at home, I guarantee you are costing your parents more by staying then you are giving by helping with the chores.

May God give you the strength to suck it up.

Craig

--- End quote ---

You are absolutely correct, Craig. That is why I asked for prayer. I don't want to get an attitude toward what they ask of me - or perform my tasks begrudgingly. I want to have the right attitude. I wasn't asking for sympathy.

In Him,
John

JohnMichael:
Update: The situation has gone from bad to worse.

To know the whole story:

I have HIV. A little known fact about HIV is that it is very similar to Lupus in the fact that you only have a limited amount of energy per day. The body is in a constant battle between the immune system and the disease. There are no breaks, no vacations, etc. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, a person with HIV has severe chronic fatigue.

Keeping that in mind, I clean up after 5 people. I also care for, clean after, and watch 5 animals. Some of them require constant supervision because they can't be left outside alone, can't be left unattended in the house, etc. On top of that, there is my school work.

When my parents ask things of me, I don't complain, and I try to do whatever is asked of me with a glad and cheerful heart. I know my parents don't have to do squat for me because I am an adult. They are allowing me to stay here because God softened their hearts. I have lived on my own before, and I know what is entailed in having to support one's self. That is why I do what they ask of me willingly and cheerfully. Sometimes it is a struggle because the flesh wants to rear up and cock an attitude usually because I get so tired (see symptom of HIV mentioned above) that it takes every ounce of remaining energy just to put one foot in front of the other, but I have a lot to do.

The best analogy I was told by my doctor is picture you have 20 spoons when you wake up in the morning. Every action you do, from getting out of bed to taking a shower to brushing your teeth to larger tasks, requires a certain amount of spoons. These spoons are not replenished until the next day or until you sleep. When you get to the end of the spoons, you are done. You have no more energy.

My mother asked me to ask my dad why he had to work last night because it is normally his day off. I did so, and my dad quite bitterly stated, "You need to ask God to change your heart. When you get your degree, you are to get out." Basically, he was calling me ungrateful. He said, "You need to appreciate your parents." I replied, "I do, Dad." It just brought back memories of when he's told me that I am an embarrassment to him, how he is ashamed of me, and how I need to pack my ---- and get out. My mom will usually respond with, "Where would he go?" My mom has said similar things to me, but I try to not let it get me down. I still try to do what is asked of me with the desire to please them. This time, it did get me down.

Maybe the enemy was having a field day, but it made me start to wonder, "Is God ashamed of me, too?" I know I mess up, daily. However, I desire to be good and pleasing to Him; I really do.

This isn't meant to be taken in the manner of the rantings of a spoiled teenager, so I hope those that are reading this don't take it that way because that isn't my attitude at all. I don't know what to do. I try to do right by them to the best of my ability (with His Grace). I just hope He isn't ashamed of me, too. If you feel in your heart to say a prayer, please do so.

In Him,
John

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