What can I do to keep me up when I am down? What trump cards, quotes or Scriptures do I keep as my emergency kit or band aid remedy against the position of being crucified, mentally emotionally or physically?
I don’t have anything. I am totally emptied in such circumstances. No words, no sayings and no nothing. I have been crucified to the point of blitzing pain, that shows me I can do nothing to avoid it or fight it. I know what it’s like.
so find death, before it finds you.
I always hesitate to post anything as it seems my postings are always in a negative aura. Some folks find long lasting solace and comfort from words in a book, I rarely do, or that lasts for very long anyway. But I do enjoy chiming in when the meat of matters gets discussion because sometimes that's where the soul of the matter is, not in words but in experience. Arcturus hit a large reservoir.
Arcturus, I understand the words above. Those words don’t, at least in my experience, necessarily mean a physical pain although often, and for many, it does. And for those who are in that journey I’m a small man for speaking any words that should matter. But then again, for now, I understand these words as a depiction of a human emotional sub-structural, soul dis-orienting, devastation. And actually, that too can lead to a deep physical pain. Either journey can be death while walking earth.
On the emotional level and in my thoughts a fine example of this type would be growing up in the ‘church’ and believing in the power of prayer for good things and un-confessed sins are the certain cause of the absence of anything good from God.
But then……God willing....? one is lead to find that there really is no free-will, all in life is at the helm and reigns of God. Good….bad…doesn’t matter because it’s all ‘cause and effect’. Some course of plan that was pre-constructed long before any earthly father had the twinkle. That’s when the emotional, sub-structure, confidence draining, death, begins. Begins. Length of time in this journey is beyond human control. This is the place where one harbors for some time (and not necessarily by intention) and takes stock of a lifetime of experience(s) both the good and the bad and fights some sort of sub-demonizing battle of daily attempts to mesh all experiences with the underlying ‘good’ intentions of a ‘loving and merciful’ God, and all the while watching the destruction of the human conjured ‘faith base’. Human genesis faith is pathetic and simply untrue. This is where a ‘believer’ begins the search to understand exactly what a ‘vessel of dis-honor’ really means. Think Pharoah. Was Pharoah any different that any one of us? I no longer believe that for a second of time.
Circumstances matter.
And to me this is yet another area of where the rubber meets the road. As Ray has written, one can lose respect for God. One can learn hate for God. And I don’t mean a blue-light K-mart cheap hate. I mean a real mess of hate, strangely dis-orienting but significant in a weird and yet to understand kind of way. Don’t think this dis-orientation could happen to you?....it happened to Paul. Just like Paul on the road, he was dis-oriented and couldn’t see physically. But his spiritual sight got keen enough and then he experienced much physical pain. Not that we’re Paul, just that no one could convince me that this ‘loving and merciful’ God doesn’t work in that manner.
When one attempts to reconcile this ‘loving and merciful’ God and his wonderful plan while he’s took, or taking away good things of this silly life and surely ahead of any reasonable timing, one begins to lose faith fast. Right down to the point of truly wondering if there really is a ‘creator’, or, if we’re just some plasma happenstance from planet chance-a-tron. That’s a dark matrix hole if there ever was one. No human brain has been invented that can score even close to a 100 in the arena of reconciliation of human action and God’s purpose. I'm beginning to believe that maybe that's what Paul was talking about when he referenced "unspeakable words" about "paradise".
I said this in another post and there’s only 1 verse that comes to me that can, perhaps, if it is supposed to be so, guard a soul when this type of destruction happens:
Psalms 23:4. Death valley. There is no shadow of 'IF' there.
I believe in the physical world we ALL walk there as long as we breathe. But the emotional trip is a faith tripper, damn near filled with nothing but stumbling stones. In your words here Arcturus:
“This is the die before you die, kind of pain of death. It is said, death will find you. Eventually it will catch up to you,……”There are some here who will read this and say, “oh, just negative”, he doesn’t understand what “we” understand that God is so loving and merciful, why just look at that book with all that beautiful prose and heart stuff and all those parables he has yet to understand and "oh lookie here, here's another neat word!". Really? Pharisee. If you’re one who thinks it, don’t be so quick to judge until your walk comes. And the sad part is when this road has taken you to the point of simply not giving a sh*@t about anything, including the supposed ‘loving and merciful’ God, the same God who, as a kid, would pray and have mighty confidence, who made all things for a strict purpose, you can believe nothing else matters.
Even Job cursed the day he was born.
A couple of things for sure, if God finishes what he starts then this is where he starts it, in my opinion. And the other thing is, when he wants to crush to powder, there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. Strangely the hope becomes a rose of joy. If there's any one thing I'm beginning to believe without doubt it's this, there is a beast and it's me. And oddly enough I'm beginning to believe the lake of fire is exactly what I deserve based on what I see, but I look so forward to life ? after purification.
Sorry folks, it's Arcturus's fault............
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Topic: What Keeps You Grounded (Read 13008 times)