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[John9362]

This is a collection of letters sent to a South of England Newspaper who had asked for examples of stupidity


IDIOT SIGHTING No.1

My daughter and I went to the McDonald's drive through check-out window to pay our bill and I gave the clerk a £5 note.

Our total bill was £4.20, so I also handed her a 20 pence piece.

She said, 'You gave me too much money.'

I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.'

She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request.   

I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.'

The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change.


Do not confuse the clerks at MacDonald's !!



IDIOT SIGHTING No2

We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us

that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a moment, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.'

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two..'

We haven't used Garador repair since.  Happened in Moor Park , near Watford .

 

IDIOT SIGHTING No3

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the

Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign

from our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road! I don't

think this is a good place for them to be crossing, any-more.'


Story from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING No 4

My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered a Taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'

He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg Lettuce.


From South Oxhey , Hertfordshire.



IDIOT SIGHTING No 5

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' 

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

 

Happened at Luton Airport

 

IDIOT SIGHTING No 6

The traffic light on the corner buzzes when the lights turn red and it is safe to cross the road.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine.

She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She is a Local County Council employee in Harrow , Middlesex. (And she's NOT blonde)

 

 

IDIOT SIGHTING No7

When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car,

we were told the keys had been locked in it.

We went to the Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the Driver's door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door-handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'it’s open!'

His reply: 'I know. I already did that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans , Hertfordshire.



 



 

[JohnMichael]

No. 6 is awesome!

[Dennis Vogel]

I've had the first one happen to me recently (no I was not the one working at McDonalds, I was the customer).

[Duane]

When I worked at an all night gas station a customer came in and asked to use the air pump attached to the side of the garage. 
I said ok and soon heard the compressor go on.  After 5 minutes, the compressor was still running so I went to check on the customer.
The customer was pumping away even though the tire was completely SEPARATED from the rim!

At a parts store I worked a lady came in for headlight bulbs.  We went out and she showed us that two of the lights didn't work.  I got in and hit the HIGH BEAMS and ON they came!  She said that she had the car for 5 years and said that she always wondered what that button on the floor was for!  She had the HIGH BEAMS on for 5 years! She said she always wondered WHY people flashed their lights at her when she drove at night!  (both are true stories)

[JohnMichael]

Once upon a time, I was a computer tech for an elementary school. One day, I get buzzed to go down to a 2nd grade teacher's room because she was having trouble with her computer. When I got to her classroom, I asked her what was the trouble. To which she responded that her computer wasn't sending a fax properly. She was quite frustrated, and she couldn't understand why it wasn't working.

I glanced at her computer desk, and I didn't see a fax machine. I asked for her to show me how she was trying to send the fax. She proceeded to pull up the computer fax program. She then placed the piece of paper on the monitor (the computer screen) and held it there. After it failed to send the fax again, she started cussing at the computer.

It took every fiber of God-given self-control to not fall on the floor, holding my sides, in side-splitting, can't breathe laughter. I bit the inside of my mouth so hard that I started to taste blood.

[Rene]

Instead of examples of the stupid things other people do, what about the stupid things we do!

Here's one of the many stupid things I've done:

When my daughter was a newborn, the first time I went out with her to run an errand, I neglected to take a baby bottle with me.  My sister had come to town to visit her niece for the first time, and when we arrived at the shopping plaza, my daughter started to whimper and cry, and my sister asked me where was the baby's bottle?  I said, I had just fed her before leaving the house and thought she would be fine for a quick trip out.  My sister looked at me like I was stupid and we immediately turned around and rushed back home.

René

[GaryK]

Instead of examples of the stupid things other people do, what about the stupid things we do!

René

Ohhhhhh


You mean like the time that I decided to unplug the clothes dryer cord from the socket BEHIND the dryer without moving the dryer away from the wall first……well, except for maybe 3 inches…..just enough to get my hand back there and wiggle it loose while my finger touched one of the metal prongs…..


And once I got up off the floor, after being thrown into the drywall about 6 feet away, I proceeded to move the dryer completely away from the wall to clean out the lint hose, which was my first objective.  Getting shocked was just an added benefit.


You mean those kinds of stupid things we do?

[Duane]

It was a hot summers day and I was standing barefooted on a concrete floor in the milk house, in an inch of water,  washing the barn
windows.  I decided that I wanted to listen to the radio.  The plug prong was bent but I didn't let that stop me.  I reached over my head to the power socket and put one side of the plug in and with my thumb pushed the other side in.  When it made contact WOW!  I should have been dead because the current went right thru my heart from my extended hand to my bare feet!  Duh!!

[indianabob]

1 Corinthians 1:26-27
New King James Version (NKJV)
Glory Only in the Lord

   
26 For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. 27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;

[Stacey]

^ yeah that's right! So, put that in your pipe and smoke it, all you muscle bound, highfaluting smarty pants people of the world! 

[Duane]

I don't know if God "put me to shame" but it sure shocked the %$^$# out of me!! 

[dogcombat]

Stupid things I've done (can give a good censored one). 

Strange Thanksgiving story that's true.  A friend of mine in Cheyenne, WY was told he could stuff a turkey with popcorn instead of stuffing.


HOWEVER..............He didn't realize that he was supposed to POP the popcorn BEFORE stuffing it in the bird.  Sooo, after a few minutes of cooking, a rumble ensued and blew the oven door and half the turkey off. 

Oh ignorance is bliss

Ches

[cjwood]

ches that was hilarious! 

the visual picture of it happening was comical.   

thanks for sharing.
claudia

[crazy4bam]

To everyone:

      I work for a large grocery food store chain in the eastern  part of the United States. I thought in my 42 years of life that I have seen and heard all the stupidity you could see, believe there are some down right dumb people. I have in my time done and said some whacked out things. I have a couple that will make you laugh or just scratch your head and go, are you sure? First to make this clear the grocery store chain I work for has gas stations in the parking lots of some of the stores, the store I work at has one of them.

1) A very pretty blonde pulls in to one of 8 pumps I have at the station. She gets out of the car, gets the car ready, puts in her credit card to pay for gas. Then she puts the hose nozzle in the tank of the car and stands there waiting....while I am assisting an elderly couple I hear yahoo, yea you over there. I then turn my attention the blonde and ask her "can I help you?" her reply is yes and I ask"whats the problem?" She looks at me with straight face and goes I stuck the hosey thingy in the car and no gas is coming out. I said"did you press what type of gas and then did you squeeze the nozzle to get to work?" She looks at me for minute and ponders this question then, hold on wait for it.....She says"you have to squeeze it too, I thought you just stuck it in the hole and the gas comes out."

It took everything I had in me not to laugh in her face. Now to set up todays all time laugh or has Mr. Bill Engval would say Here's your sign..

The gas station that I work at sits directly across the street from a small airport. It flies small aircraft, one 7 seater jet. It gives fall foilage tours, boyscouts free rides, also helps the reserve unit in the area land their helicopters. This happened to me in the morning around 7am here on the east coast.

2) This middle aged man stopped to get gas, soda, and was washing his windshield, checking oil no biggy. I am tryng to enjoy the planes land and take off, to me its fascinating. Anyway the gentleman walks up next to me and is watching this plane land  and another take off. He turns to me and says"Is that an airport?" I go nope the store owners thought it would be nice to just decorate the empty field with planes so people pumping gas had something to look at.

I laughed so hard after he left, it just kept me smiling all day. I have another one for you all. It has rained here alot, try 57 inches so and there is only 52 weeks a year. Well, anyway! I had to walk from the gas station to the main store which is about 500ft if not more. When I started the walk it was not raining, by the time I got half way there the clouds opened up and it rained so hard has my grandpa would say it was like a cow peeing on a flat....I got so wet by the time I got to the store I looked like a drowned rat. A male store clerk looked at me goes is it raining outside? I went nope just took shower with my clothes because I was excited about coming to work and couldn't wait to dry off.

                                                                                     From one dizzy redhead,
                                                                                          pam 

[Dave in Tenn]

I might could tell you a lot of stupid things I've done, but many of them would be confessing my vilest sins.  Not on a web-forum.   

Once I was working with my boss Glenn (a great boss with close to 50 years of experience) on a store in our chain that had been damaged by a tornado.  While he was working with the crew removing merchandise from clothes racks, I was being busy trying to tear down store fixtures.  There was a row of flourescent lights that had fallen partway from the ceiling.  One end was still attached, and the other end was draped over a merchandise display (a gondola, for those of you who know the term).

I had torn down most of it,...the only part left standing was under the fallen light fixture.  I asked Glenn what I should do with the remainder of the gondola.  He said I should leave it alone for a while.  But I had pretty well left it alone until last and it was the only gondola still standing, so I ignored him and nudged the gondola just a few inches to get it out from under the light fixture.  Well, the gondola was not simply 'under the fixture'. it was all that was holding it up.  When it budged, the the whole rest of the row buckled down like a zipper unzipping, flourescent tubes bursting into puffs of dust and glass, aluminum fixture parts coming loose, flying and rattling everwhere, the whole crew working just inches from where it all fell.  Glenn standing there calmly.

I was pretty sheepish going up to him afterwards. 

He said, "I thought you were going to leave that alone."

I joked, "I was going to, but I had a better idea."

I did an awful lot of sweeping after that.

I reckon if we can learn to rejoice with the joyful and mourn with the mournful, we can learn to be ignorant with the ignorant.  We're all just folks, after all. 

[deblynn]

That is some funny stuff.  Often, folks blurt things out without realizing how it sounds to someone else (including me) . As a side note though, here in N.J., we don't pump our own gas, so many of us would probably have no idea how to do it.

[Nan]

Pam,
While were returning from central Ohio last month, we stopped for gas and a woman at another gas pump pulled out with the hose still attached to her tank. They must have  a release or something, because there wasn't any gas leaking as she drove down the highway trailing that hose.

I couldn't believe it (I don't know if I would have enough courage) but she came back while we were still there. We could see her laughing in store. I don't know what became of the hose - she didn't have it with her.

[onelovedread]

When I was a teenager, I had a severe case of 'crabs' (lice in my genital area). It itched so much that I shaved and sprayed Raid around the offending area. God spared me as I understand that many have died from doing that. Good thing is that it worked!

[Duane]

I know some one who worked in our factory, who used RAID to solve his problem and he landed in the hospital for three weeks with severe burns to his genitals!  Note:  This should serve as a "genital reminder"  NOT to do that!!

[octoberose]

Oh my goodness, I just read all these on my birthday and it's a funny reminder of the absurdity of man (and woman). Thanks for ending my day with laughter. Now, can someone help me find my keys? Maybe I'll look in the freezer.