A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter asks him, “Can you tell me about a really good deed that you did in your life?"
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Hmm, well there was this one time when I was drivin' down a road and I saw a giant group of biker gang members harassing this poor girl. I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of 'em torturing this poor woman. Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy; 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ears. As I walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a circle around me and told me to get lost or I'd be next. So I ripped the leader's chain out of his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, "Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I really teach you a lesson in pain!""
St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"
"About three minutes ago."