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Losing all for the truth!

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thaddeus:
About 5 years ago I was involved with a small church in Rockwall TX. I had a hunger that was not being satisfied by what was being taught. My father-in-law had a small library of concordances and lexicons. Having started my study with just the bible I found things that did not make since to me! Eternal torture being one of many! I also worked for a Pentecostal preacher.  Anyway my studies only brought me closer to realizing that I was not hearing the truth!

One night I typed in bibletruths on the net. I started reading and reading about 2am my wife came in to find me with a stack of bibles reading Ray's papers and checking and rechecking! She asked if I was coming to bed I said yes and left my studies,but not for long! I could not sleep so I snuck back in the kitchen and resumed. I cried, felt as though a weight had been lifted off of me! I was humbled as though I was a child again but for weeks I kept my new found joy to myself ,until I had proven to myself that what I was reading was truth.  After God had removed my blinders completely I shared Ray's website with my Father-in-law who had been starving also!

He came back and asked," you don't believe this crap do you"? I was shocked to hear him say this! It was not the response I expected! I told him "Ray said if anyone could prove him wrong scriptural he would take down his site", and that I had tried to prove him wrong for my own understanding and it only brought me in agreement! I tried to get my wife to study with me and she was scared because it went against every thing she was taught! So I backed off. About a month later a highschool boyfriend of my wifes, wrecked his truck and died!  My boss came over that weekend along with my inlaws for a cookout. We were sitting outside talking when someone brought up what had happened to the old boyfriend! My boss said,"well he's frying in hell right now"! I was taking a drink of coolaid and got choked! I said without thinking, "how dare you stand in judgement of that man"! God's the only judge, and you don't quality"!

Iit was all down hill from there! I lost my job the start of the next week, and my inlaws started trying to convience my wife I was the devil! About 6 months ago my wife left and took are 3 small children with her to her mothers, saying she would never keep my kids from me! When I called that Friday wanting to come get them for the weekend and was told not this week but the next but was allowed to talk to my 5 year old son and 2 year old daughter. That was the last time I got to even talk to them for 6 months! The next week after she had left I was served with an order of protection for my wife and kids! I was broken, how could this happen? They lied to get the order, but I served as my own attorney and God gave me wisdom to defendant myself! I won that day, but still felt defeated because now she was going to file for divorce!

She waited months before filing, which meant I could not see my babies! Went to court last week for a temperary order of visitation and got to see them this weekend!  My heart was so overwelmed when I saw them, I feel to my knees and brokedown when they ran to me! My youngest Grace, who is only one just stood with her head down! I held out my arms and she came to me! She put her little head on my shoulder and would not let me put her down for about an hour! My wife, who is still on the order of protection and cannot be within 500 feet of me showed early to pick them up and came in the house where I was and wanted to talk to me! Which I told her we can talk about the kids and nothing else! When they went to leave my 2 year old Chloe Love asked if I would come with them, which caused me to breakdown again because I had to tell her I couldn't!

My wife started crying and I had to ask her to just go for now! Her mother was in the car and I didn't want any trouble in front of my kids, they've been through enough! Now my family has threatened to disown me basically if I don't have her arrested for breaking the protective order! Which I refuse to do! God will not let me return evil for evil and today that's where I'm standing, on faith only! I pray God's will shall bring this to an end but if not I will not give up till He takes the breath from me! I went to the doctor yesterday, and he's worried about my lungs! My mother and my uncle died from lung cancer so I've been praying for good news! Myself, I'm ready if its God's will but would like a few more years for my wife and kids sake!  Well that's my story for now, God bless!



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Rene:
Hi thaddeus and welcome to the forum.

You are certainly going through a very difficult trial and I will be praying for you and your family. 

René

DougE6:

Wow Thaddeus

I will pray for you. I really like your humble spirit and refusal to return evil for evil. God will help, I know it. He will. I promise.

Doug

thaddeus:
Rene and Doug thank you and God bless! I know God will deal with this for me, my inlaws have put my children in a local church! Trying to reteach my son who is almost 6, seeing that they have not went to church themselves in years! He has a heart that could only have been given by God himself! One night I had to go to a job site after the sprinkler system went off and I carried Isaac with me. After we left I stopped at a 7 11 to get us a soda.  There was a lady sitting by the door with a couple of wal-mart sacks full of clothes, crying. My son stopped and just looked, she smiled at him and I said come on in bubba. When we came out he kept looking back as we headed to the car. When he got in he said,"daddy, I know what's wrong with her"! I ask him what is was he said, "she need some money"! So I opened my wallet and only had the change from a 10 and a 20 dollar bill! He grabbed the 20 which besides the change was all we had, but I said if you think that's what she needs go give it to her! Which he went, but she would not take it! I saw him point to the car and they started walking towards me. When they got to me she said he gave me a 20 dollar bill! Neither he nor I would take it back! I gold her, its his money he can do what he wants with it!  She cried, I cried but Isaac acted like it was old hat to him! I thank God every night for giving my children such loving personallities! Just thought I would share that little story!

thaddeus:
If you get out amongst the hurting and the homeless in this world you will see God working and it will make you think this ole world ain't so bad after all! Don't remember chapter or verse, to the pure all things are pure but to the defiled all things are defiled. That sticks in my head like glue!

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