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dre91:
My wife and I have been separated for over a year now. Our divorce will be final on January 13, 2012. I tried to reconcile with my wife but she still wanted the divorce after I told her I believed in universal salvation. Six months after we separated I met another woman. I know I'm committing adultery because we're co-habitating. Her children live with us too. My conscience is really bothering me as I draw near to my divorce date. I feel as if I've failed God and I feel ashamed. After my divorce is final I have thought about marrying her immediately.

mharrell08:
Email reply from Ray (http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,7413.msg58866.html#msg58866):

Dear Max:  There are a hundred good reasons why I don't get involved in counseling people in divorce and remarriage situations and other legal matters.  One ends up in the same situation as Paul called "endless genealogies."  I assume you may be referring to your own marriage with this question?  Okay, so you marry a woman who was not legally divorced based on her husband committing adultery. They just divorced for whatever reasons. Now then, are you legally married to her and is she legally married to you?  Well........has her husband remarried?  Cause if he did, then he IS committing adultery, seeing that your divorce was apparently not legal in God's eyes.  So now that he is married (legal or not) to another and having sex (adultery) with another woman, she could not legally divorce him on grounds of adultery. But you are already divorced, he is now married, and she now married.  Okay, suppose her husband is not remarried and is not committing adultery, then what?  Should she legally divorce you according to the laws of the law, and remarry her old husband if he will have her?  What if he really does WANT HER?  And what if she really decides that she did love him and wants to divorce you now and remarry her old husband?  Can they do that?  (In "God's" eyes?)
     
    What if you die, and your present wife who is not legally divorced because there was no adultery in her first marriage, wants to remarry a third man, and the third man is legally divorced because his wife did commit adultery, can she marry him if her first husband will not take her back, even though he never did commit adultery on her when they were married?  But what if your wife really did commit adultery in her first marriage, but her first husband forgave her and didn't want to divorce her, but she wanted to divorce him, because she felt guilty for betraying him? Can she divorce him if it was her who committed the adultery, and then marry you?  I could go on like this for hours and hours.
     
    It's just more "endless genealogy," and I won't get involved in it. Furthermore, NO ONE will divorce their mate if they love them, no matter WHAT I would say, so this whole conversation is pretty close to pointless.  Furthermore, I don't believe that I have ever had anyone tell me the absolute truth when asking me to "settle" such convoluted marital situations.
     
    Listen:  You cannot UN-ring a bell.  Sometimes it is not possible to go back and straighten out all of the convoluted mistakes we made in life and such things as marriage and remarriage. Repent for what you have done and for what you are and GO ON with you life.  If a husband BEATS his wife, or ABUSES the children, or does NOT PROVIDE food and shelter for his family, or is totally IMMORAL, or DESERTS his wife, or DIES, then the wife is not expected to remained married to such a man if she does not desire, and the same is true she the wife commit these crimes.  Almost all other things are just excuses to have one's cake and eat it too. I hope this has been a little helpful to you.
    God be with you,
    Ray


Obviously your situation isn't exactly like this person who emailed Ray. But the same good counsel remains: You can't undo anything that has been done, so just repent for what you feel you have failed at and move on.

You're already living together and that isn't going to change. A rushed marriage could actually make matters worse. Take your time and do things when you both feel it is the right time.



Hope this helps,

Marques

Deborah-Leigh:


Fear drives all futile decisions that can end in disaster Dre91. Fear of judgment. Fear of not pleasing God. Fear of doing the wrong thing and earning death. Fear, fear, fear.

I was in a Confessional, telling the Priest that I was living with my now present husband. Not my husband at the time of the Confession! :D The Church (Catholic) refused to marry us, because my husband was divorced. I was told to either leave my husband or leave the Church.

I wish Ray Smith had been listening to my confession rather! LOL ;D

Anyway, what happened was, I left the Church...albeit...joined in a Pentecostal Church...out of the fire into the frying pan! LOL  ;D I figured, I can't sleep with the Church and my husband is warm and very cozy. Shoot me!

My wonderful husband and I were married and the few weeks prior to the wedding, we had a massive fight.

I knelt before God, alone in the bedroom at the bedside and said to God that I wanted to please Him. That I had the baby already, and the divorce, (emotionally speaking...we weren't very happy at that point )and now I wanted God. The emotional terrain of my relationship, to my husband, was in ruins. Funny how God gets you to speak to Him from the heart, when everything is in ruins! :D Not funny, ha ha...but...just how it happens to many.

I felt God ask me what I wanted and I said I loved Abrie, that is my husband today, and that if there was any disapproval of God making us man and wife, then He could take him...meaning that I was okay if God decided to take him...really...I was at the end of my rope and it was for God to decide. I loved Abrie then and that was my reply and I love Abrie today and that has only changed in that it has gotten far deeper with the Blessing of an approving God who caused us to marry.

We had no money and a person from the Church dropped by and said God told him to give us a check. The amount covered exactly the cost of the modest reception.

White rose petals were strewn in the passage up to the Alter where we received the Witness of becoming man and wife. The petals were given to my maid of honor who is a florist. She told me that on collecting her usual purchase of flowers, the owner had approached her and asked her if she would like to take the drums of white rose petals he had. She was elated and said she was to attend my wedding the very next day!

So God showed up in more ways than one, yet the journey of marriage has not been easy or a walk in the park but a deep journey of tested tried and fairy trials and tests to purge purify and make good with God who will not be disappointed in His Work of Love that is LOVE.

Keep loving and living and knowing trusting and depending on Love that is God! You'll do okay! It might not be with rose petals, but He is with you and can show you His gifts of Love in most unique ways that are intimate disclosures of His personal love for you. Ask and you shall recieve. It's His Promise! ask for LOVE and it is as asking for God, who is LOVE>

Arc

Deborah-Leigh:


 Beautiful Jan...yes, beautiful JAN, dre, Marques and all! God's Light of Beauty conforming to His Image....the eyes of the beholder beholding God's beauty upon His creation so speaking, I and the Father are ONE.... 

Heidi:
dre91....my dad once said to me,"only God can hit a straight line with a crook-it staff".  Our lives are so intricate and full of dimensions and we all have a story to tell.  My point is this.....we muck things up BUT GOD is able to set things straight.  I agree with what Ray says, "repent".

Love in Christ Jesus
Heidi

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