Fear drives all futile decisions that can end in disaster Dre91. Fear of judgment. Fear of not pleasing God. Fear of doing the wrong thing and earning death. Fear, fear, fear.
I was in a Confessional, telling the Priest that I was living with my now present husband. Not my husband at the time of the Confession!
The Church (Catholic) refused to marry us, because my husband was divorced. I was told to either leave my husband or leave the Church.
I wish Ray Smith had been listening to my confession rather! LOL
Anyway, what happened was, I left the Church...albeit...joined in a Pentecostal Church...out of the fire into the frying pan! LOL
I figured, I can't sleep with the Church and my husband is warm and very cozy. Shoot me!
My wonderful husband and I were married and the few weeks prior to the wedding, we had a massive fight.
I knelt before God, alone in the bedroom at the bedside and said to God that I wanted to please Him. That I had the baby already, and the divorce, (emotionally speaking...we weren't very happy at that point )and now I wanted God. The emotional terrain of my relationship, to my husband, was in ruins. Funny how God gets you to speak to Him from the heart, when everything is in ruins!
Not funny, ha ha...but...just how it happens to many.
I felt God ask me what I wanted and I said I loved Abrie, that is my husband today, and that if there was any disapproval of God making us man and wife, then He could take him...meaning that I was okay if God decided to take him...really...I was at the end of my rope and it was for God to decide. I loved Abrie then and that was my reply and I love Abrie today and that has only changed in that it has gotten far deeper with the Blessing of an approving God who caused us to marry.
We had no money and a person from the Church dropped by and said God told him to give us a check. The amount covered exactly the cost of the modest reception.
White rose petals were strewn in the passage up to the Alter where we received the Witness of becoming man and wife. The petals were given to my maid of honor who is a florist. She told me that on collecting her usual purchase of flowers, the owner had approached her and asked her if she would like to take the drums of white rose petals he had. She was elated and said she was to attend my wedding the very next day!
So God showed up in more ways than one, yet the journey of marriage has not been easy or a walk in the park but a deep journey of tested tried and fairy trials and tests to purge purify and make good with God who will not be disappointed in His Work of Love that is LOVE.
Keep loving and living and knowing trusting and depending on Love that is God! You'll do okay! It might not be with rose petals, but He is with you and can show you His gifts of Love in most unique ways that are intimate disclosures of His personal love for you. Ask and you shall recieve. It's His Promise! ask for LOVE and it is as asking for God, who is LOVE>
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