Struggling to Forgive

[thaddeus]

 SandyFla,
I don't know if this will help. Without Christ we can do nothing! With myself, God has put me in situations where I felt helpless over my own thoughts and emotions. We have control over nothing, God is supreme! It is God who causes your will to be what it is! If it's His will, you will learn to forgive, if not then that may be your thorn in the flesh! I have the exact oppisite problem, I can't help but forgive no matter what has been done! That comes from God, not of myself or some other person telling me how to forgive! I pray its Gods will to take this from you, but let His will be done above all!

[yello62]

sandy, been there done that and going through it to this day.   i would have to agree with arcturus when he says that you can't forgive this man, only God can grant you that and when He does, you'll know it.   

the experiences that i have had with this, and there have been many, is that praying for the individual leads to something of a revelation about them and me and God's working in my life, which then leads to compassion for them where they are, which then leads me to thankfulness for the Christ and God's mercy, which then leads me to the sermon on the mount and the story about the man indebted to the king who has that indebtedness forgiven and so on. 

know that God will walk you through this.  if you don't have the "experience" of mercy yet it is because He does not want you to experience it yet.  it is His desire to do so but the timing is His.   there have been times when i have been given that grace immediately, there have been times when i have had to wrestle with the emotions for some time.  i am currently in the throws of a situation where mercy, grace and compassion are part and parcel of the battle.   there is something else in this experience as well, but that is a discussion for another day.

don't lose heart.  these are the experiences that ultimately lead to the deepening of our hearts and minds in His love.

[Memme]

Sandy, I can't offer anything better than what others have said but I couldn't help but think of my dear Dad who years ago told me when I'd get angry at someone-- 'Forget it!  Fifty years from now no one will know the difference so don't sweat the small stuff!'  Now, after saying that....AT THE TIME, in our minds things like that are NOT 'small stuff' until we can put them into life's perspective and thinking 'fifty years from now....' doesn't equate at the moment when we are angry or hurt by someone.  BUT, if we stop and ask ourselves: 'Is this incident REALLY important in the grand scheme of my life?  That man has probably already forgotten that I even exist (he sounds like he doesn't care what others think of him) and probably would be dumbfounded to know how much I've wrestled with the way I feel!'   

Jesus said:  "Then do not be anxious for tomorrow. For the morrow will be anxious of itself. Sufficient to each day is its own trouble."   If we can remember that, many of us could quit taking high-blood pressure medication!   

[ez2u]

Sandy  hi  what i hear is that you have unresolved issue that you are transferring on to this repairman.  What he did wasn't that big of a deal in the full scope of life.  If he had rape you or beat you up.  Look more deeply into your life and see where your disappointments truly are.  God is doing a deeper work in you.  Praise His Holy name.

[onelovedread]

Sandy
I have not read everyone else's posts so this may have been said already.
If it were me, I'd just pray for this man everyday - for his family, his career, everything that concerns him.
And at the end of the prayer I would thank God for healing me of 'unforgiveness'.
I have a coworker whom I do not speak since every time we get back on talking terms, she verbally abuses me. I do not communicate with her but I pray for her and have released her in the spirit. God looks into my heart and judges me.