Hi, my name is Barbara. I am thrilled to be a member of the forum again! A few years ago I was a member and was privileged to even participate in transcribing some of Ray’s audio tapes to be posted here. Because of health and computer issues, I lost my ID and have for the past year or so satisfied my thirst for spiritual enlightenment by reading the threads and I thank you.
I’m sure my story isn’t much different from most of yours. I was raised in the Baptist Church and was a Billy Graham ‘fan’ beginning around age 10. I remember saving my money so I could send it to his ministry. Unfortunately, I also remember how my many questions regarding doctrine contradictions vs what I read in the scriptures even as a child were never answered by my Bible study teachers who, I’m sure, were unable to answer them so it was easier to placate that precocious child with the simple ‘you’ll understand some day’. Well, that ‘some day’ turned into many years!
After marrying a member of the Church of Christ (called ‘Campbellites’ back then by many) I was baptized into that denomination and tried my best to believe and teach their doctrinal understanding. I finally gave up on trying to understand most anything ‘spiritual’ and ‘doing’ what I was supposedly to do while experiencing a painful mid-life divorce. After several years of putting Him ‘on the back burner’, He took me to my lowest physically, economically and spiritually knocking me to my knees and DRAGGING me to the computer one early morning at about 2:00 a.m. where I found Bible Truths! WOW, this guy Smith had to be nuts, not believing in eternal HELL because I knew that’s where I was going! I returned to ‘church’ and got busy with works but something certainly was missing so I found myself back to reading Ray’s articles.
To cut it short, I printed out his articles, dug out my old Concordances and Lexicons to check this ‘new’ concept out! It took me two years to finally admit to being unable to find anything in scripture to contradict this ‘nut’!
I was so awed and joyful and couldn’t wait to share my new-found spiritual enlightenment and freedom with my friends---probably most of you can guess how that turned out. However, I was blessed to find my two children, who had left organized ‘church’ years ago, both knew what I didn’t---my son said ‘Mom, I could have told you but you wouldn’t have listened--I’ve known all my life that Jesus paid my price and there is nothing I can do that He hasn’t done!’ Even knowing how my children’s hearts were so much more loving than mine, I was blinded to their faith and their ‘living in Him’ because they didn’t ‘go to church’. How sad for me in many ways but how thankful too for His accomplishing in their lives this feat even without my help!
I still struggle with loving my neighbor and being judgmental. Oddly enough, it seems to be easier to love my enemies for I know who they are but my ‘neighbors, friends, family’ seem to be those who inflict the most painful hurts rather than my enemies. Maybe someone can relate to that struggle to completely crucify that old carnal hard heart so He can completely fill it with His love!
I look forward to participating in discussions with all of you. I ask that you all pray for me.
Barbara
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Topic: Hello to all (Read 7172 times)