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Author Topic: Re: adultery  (Read 6399 times)

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Gina

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« on: January 20, 2012, 11:35:47 AM »

This book by Michelle Langley re Women's Infidelity is a great read.  Worth way more than the internet price of $40 I paid (turns out it's selling on Amazon for $130!  Wow, I got it for a steal.  Love, love, love a bargain. lol)

http://www.amazon.com/Womens-Infidelity-Living-Limbo-Really/dp/0976772604

You can search inside the book.

I personally have never cheated on a man in the literal sense, but looking over my life--I know that I wouldn't have been able to stay committed to a marriage and this book explains why.  It's really very interesting and I would never bring up this topic if I didn't think it was so important to people (women, especially) who are thinking of getting married or who are married and experiencing a downturn in the sex department. 

This author is amazing.  She's smart and honest and doesn't pull punches, ladies and gentlemen. 

The thing I find so fascinating about this book is that she proves that although men have typically been blamed for divorce, a lot of times women are leaving their husbands and cheating on their husbands--not the other way around. 

Bottom line:   The men chase us, beg us for sex, we cave and then we reciprocate by basically manipulating them into marrying us and then we make them pay, pay, pay. 

Men, stop begging us for sex!  We're the weaker sex.  We need YOU to be strong.  lol
« Last Edit: January 20, 2012, 11:39:54 AM by Gina »
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acomplishedartis

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2012, 04:23:09 AM »


I have read that Jesus is the head of the man and the man is the head of the woman...

At this times in history it seems all around that the woman is the head of the man. But you can't really expect things to be different when peoples main believes and life structures are so inconsistent.

But for the ones whom are maturing and learning the truths that we are learning, the old rules are slowly changing,,

I will ask God for the strength to prevent me to become manipulated with sex, irrational emotionalism, fear of social pressure or a very succulent dessert!


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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2012, 06:22:56 AM »



Hey...woe woe woe woe woe...halt the lorry there Gina...! ;D

I have not read the book. Have NO doubt the author can pull punches. It is the conclusions that I would like to put on the table and look at again with ya....grab a cup of tea or coffee...lets look again....hey if JFK comes round you'll need something stronger...whiskey and tonic John? ....shoes and guns at the door please!...Big hug...hey John...hope to see you here. This gal needs a big hug... :)...me...talking about me...

Hey Gina...

You say...the book PROVES that it is WOMAN that are leaving their men and cheating on their husbands....okay...so what...what's the big deal IF that is true or not, statistically proven or not...it is not, TRUTH as in, I AM, the Way, the TRUTH.... so....are we out to shoot someone....nah...didn't think so....are we out to accuse someone, put the blame shift down the shaft and ignite the detonator...lol....if you light the detonator...the bomb won't go off....~ :)

So here's the punch line without the punch...unless it is the punch of a party...you know me by now right!

Gina, Gina, Gina,....folks have got GOD wrong. They still wana do like Adam and Eve and point the finger away from themselves...Go look again...Nothing has changed....

We are all in this boat TOGETHER....males, females, women, men, boys and girls...

It doesn't help to put the bitter pill in the mouth of a brother or to take arms against the men folks and prove a point against them guys...Us women folks have the goods...we do. God gave us the goods and the men folks have the garden and the tool shed.

We wana swap the deal out and get the power.....Ray says What is the balance?  Jesus Christ is the balance.  http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,5506.0.html

That kinda of balance thought, puts out the burning fires right?...those heated feelings for or against the gender benda arguments that ignite feelings of right and wrong....Hey...after all...no...never mind....time up...but before I go...hey....

Gina...whispering now....put the coffee or tea cup down and get closer.....I KNOW those tears...and men can be real mean, jack a@@ immature, stupid and darn right imbecile...just like we can...you know...you know it. So find your comfort here...a good man can turn a woman who is an orphan into a Queen....read all about it...read all about it Esther...ha...my new name for you Gina...Queen Esther...Love you....look past the jerks in the palace....the King is on His way!...or you are on YOUR way to MEET HIM...no one else will do right...Thought so! and THAT'S your dilemma...be honest! You want nothing but the BEST...well....now which book tells you that story huh....?...the book of Ruth....maybe....

Big hug
Arc...be kind to her boys be kind...or ...or...or.....sigh...

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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2012, 07:22:38 AM »



 :) Foot note  ~ Though Esther was married to King Ahasuerus, and many present day women might feel they too are betrothed to such men, in Truth, Esther was married to the Lord, in Spirit and Truth.

 Isa 54:5  For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. 
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Gina

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2012, 08:06:06 AM »

Arc, lol, men aren't jackasses.  Geez.  Where do you come up with this stuff?  Gawd.  I agree, they're no different from women at their core.  I'm just trying to get to the bottom of some things, and I thought the book explains a lot. 

Oh, well. lol
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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2012, 10:16:27 AM »



You have mis-understood me Gina.

I meant no offence to either men or women.
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Rob M

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2012, 10:23:38 AM »

Thanks for sticking up for my gender Gina!!  Just this past year I twice walked a woman home to make sure they arrived safe...and twice I was enticed to go up stairs for...uh...well you know!  I said no to both because this is not the type of thing I'm looking for.

I'm sure God was testing me (but if He knows the outcome is it a test?) but to sleep with these women was wrong...mainly because I didn't need the headache of trying to explain my actions to them in the morning! I didn't want to hurt any feelings with a "wham bam thank you ma'am" and sneak out the door! 

Now if God will only send me my Queen so I don't find myself in those scenarios ever again!

                                                                                                                        Rob
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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2012, 10:28:31 AM »



Ah...you are a Prince Rob M, alongside our Moises.... 8)...and we have others that come to mind,  here in BTF... :)

So you see. It is not just us gals that have to get ready for our King...you guys are preparing for your Reign with the King of kings, and Lord of lords too!

Beautiful stuff indeed!

It's all good.  :)

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Gina

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2012, 02:22:09 PM »

You're very welcome Rob.  I personally am doing my best to look at the issue objectively so as not descend into the abyss of unchecked female emotion.  haha.  You know how we get. lol 

Good on you for not taking the women up on their offers!!   SHAME on them for wanting sex!!!  How dare they?!  For your faithfulness and righteousness, I shall bestow on thee 3 trillion gilded kudos!  Blinnnnggggg....  !! 

What's interesting is that you knew you were not a WBTYM type of guy.   I don't think all men are like that.  And that's still not quite as bad as a woman enticing a man to marry her and then wam-bamming and thanking the man with the gift of alimony, taking the house, the kids, and making him look like the bad guy when really the woman just wanted out of the marriage because she didn't want to have sex with her husband anymore.  Not to say that men have never treated women badly.  But that's what this book discusses.

« Last Edit: January 21, 2012, 11:55:12 PM by Gina »
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Rob M

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« Reply #9 on: January 21, 2012, 04:36:50 PM »

Hi Gina..I hope when you said "You knew you were a WBTYM type of guy" you just forgot to incert the word 'NOT' lol!  And for the record I did not judge them or think any less of them.

I've been through what that book discusses...I came home from work only to be told it's over and no second chances, next thing I knew I was in court. My lawyer told me at the time that it was her preogative if she wished to have a relationship with me or not. Man I was so hurt, I loved that woman more than anything and would have done anything for her. It took a long time to get over her and we are now friends.

But I can't help feeling there is a double standard in all this....because if I would have left her, society would accuse me of abandoning her and the kids..go figure.  But all is of God, so what do I know?
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Gina

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2012, 03:35:53 PM »

That's horrible.  Unfortunately, that's very common.  I'm glad you two are friends now!  That's good.  That's very good. 

According to Michelle, and I agree, women are pretty much entering their prime just as the men are exiting their prime and it makes for strange bedfellows.  If a married woman has an affair she is more likely to divorce her husband over guilt of having or having had one.  The reason for that is, society programs women to believe they are monogamous and men are not.  So, when they discover they are not monogamous (because they're in their prime), they are so shocked by their own behavior they turn around blame their husbands and leave the marriage; that way, they don't t have to face potentially not being forgiven by her husband for having an affair. 

Affairs don't destroy marriages, but guilt and unforgiveness (is that a word? lol) do.  Not saying this is the case with either you or your ex, Rob.   I just wanted to use what you said as a lead in to that very important piece of information in the book.

Men and women don't discuss these things.  Thank you for opening up, Rob, and being receptive to the information in this thread. 

Thank you too, Moises, for your contribution.  You're doing the right thing.   

Yeah, with the divorce rate the way it is, it's so important to find straight answers, and I flippin struck gold in this book.  Wow.

Ciao for now party people!
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DougE6

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« Reply #11 on: January 22, 2012, 09:27:12 PM »


Gina

I do think that the natural hormonal cycles of men and women are not in sync, at least in the first 2/3 of life.  So women are finding a little bit about the terrible power of testosterone, in their middle years. And so 70-75% of divorces are initiated by females.

The hormonal thing has always been around.  Birth control and the no fault divorce has not.  In times past, womens' risk in infidelity was extreme...a pregnancy, being found out, and then losing your stable home and good name and being taken care of by your husband. Now, those checks are being removed, and we are seeing that there is a deeper beast in women than we ever expected. In this realm of sexual infidelity, I mean.

SO young men are becoming more and more cautious of marriage. They do not want to commit.  And society, more and more, wants to redefine a family, to make anything go. Gay marriage, single parents, gay adoption, women having babies with various men...ANYTHING JUST AS LONG AS THE SACRED COW OF LUST IS NOT RESTRAINED.

It is a terrible state of affairs (no pun intended) Just as young men have learned in times past and many still do, and keep their sexual appetites in control in their prime, women simply must learn to do the same.  This life is not easy.  And these powerful urges do not rule one forever. In fact, when women hit their forties, bang...wow, all of a sudden, for many of these who just HAD to have an affair in their thirties, now they look at the shattered lives and think, did I really do all of that? Why why?

So maybe women should start encouraging fidelity in their marriages to each other.  Yes and maybe men have to learn to forgive what to some is seemingly unforgiveable.

I just think this society, getting evermore soaked in lust of every form...porn soaked, every abberant desire and hook-up desired by any approved of and celebrated...and this attitude is passed on to the impressionable children...we are certainly going to inherit the whirlwind and we sow to the wind.

Not even accounting for the fact that God will increasingly give people over to their lusts, as they feel thay do not need to acknowledge him..Deep inner drives and deep inner genes, that remain dormant for the most part, will be caused to express and spring deeper and more sinful behaviours into action...lust only begets more lust, when the appetites are not restrained.

Speaking for myself, I want God to make me pure in the midst of it all. I want nothing to do with it.  I want only to love my wife, to love my children, and to somehow teach them and inculcate in them values that would cause them to resist the massive overload of sexual temptation out there.  It is our God given mandate, to raise up our children in the nuture and admonition of the Lord.
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Gina

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« Reply #12 on: January 22, 2012, 11:13:18 PM »

Quote
SO young men are becoming more and more cautious of marriage. They do not want to commit.

First off, thanks for your contribution, Doug.  I really mean that.

lol  Young, old, men for the most part have never wanted to commit solely to one woman in marriage because they know something that women have not been afforded the opportunity to discover until recently--that one person cannot possibly satisfy them for the rest of their lives.  That's why they shy away from marriage.  And that's why women (not all) have felt the need to convince and/or trap men into marriage. 

We know that men are not commitment minded to one woman.  If they were, there would have never been the need for laws against the practice of polygamy. 

Likewise, men have known for eons that women are not commitment minded; otherwise, there would have been no need for chastity belts and the like, of which I won't mention in here.

It's clear as of late, women are shying away from marriage for the very reason that men have been commitment-phobic.  They're finally waking up. 

You're so right about things being dormant.  It's not as though it was never there, it was just against the law, gay marriage for instance.  Now it's not.  So true, Doug.

Quote
So maybe women should start encouraging fidelity in their marriages to each other.]

That's right!!  But we have to know why we are the way we are first in order to do anything about it.  We're fed lies and myths about our sexuality.   We need KNOWLEDGE.  We need to stop being told that we're inherently monogamous and commitment minded.  We need to stop being told that a "prince" charming will come and sweep us up off our feet and make all our pain and sorrow go away.  My God! What a burden that's been placed on men.  Heck, if I was a guy, that would scare the living daylights out of me!  That would shy anyone away from marriage.  But that's the dung that women have been fed and they turn around and shovel it by the heaping hordes to the men in their lives.  No one person can possibly satisfy every need and wish. 

So, it's no wonder women become disenchanted in their marriages and go chasing after and/or falling prey to the ever elusive opiate/narcotic high of love/lust.

I believe that if women knew, like men have always known long before women reach their prime, that they will be coming down off that elusive love-high sooner rather than later, they'd be more apt to do the right things when it comes to seeking or trying to catch a Mr. Right.  There is no Mr. / Mrs. Right.  There are only men and women who need the spirit of God to do the right thing.  Indeed.   

Thank you again, Doug, for your well-thought out contribution.  Very much appreciated!!

« Last Edit: January 23, 2012, 02:53:13 AM by Gina »
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acomplishedartis

  • Guest
Re: adultery
« Reply #13 on: January 25, 2012, 03:36:05 AM »

There are only men and women who need the spirit of God to do the right thing.  Indeed.   

That sounds like a very good conclusion...


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